Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 58

Chapter 58

Ethan’s POV

I need a break. I ordered my men to train this morning in hopes I could join them, but as soon as I was out the door, another person came in needing me to help. I spend all my time quelling the fights of the leaders, and now they are demanding things I have no power to control. My patience is running thin.

The opportunity Bellar gave us was too good to pass up. A part of me was worried that if we didn’t try to at least show we were pushing them out, then we wouldn’t get the support of the people. But being the go between everyone and trying to make everyone happy to keep pretenses up that there won’t be any conflict but with tempers building I can only imagine when someone gets so hot and angry and we have a civil dispute.

Burying myself in all the paperwork in the command center, I didn’t even hear one of my men walk in. “Morning Boss! You should eat something that might make you feel better.”

I waved him off, not even looking over, knowing he would just leave the gruel behind, and I heard him walk off. I have to find something I can use to help with negotiations. There has to be something I can draw together because the leaders don’t want promises. They want property, land, and capital.

The biggest point of negotiations is to lock up and chain the princess for everyone’s protection. The fear of an uncollared lupine has them all shaky. I can’t force someone to be locked up who fought for everyone else’s freedom. She was traveling freely before we met. She shouldn’t have to be locked up because everyone else is scared of her.

“Ethan!” The yell makes me jump from my seat. I look up and see one of the rebel leaders who has been one of the biggest asshats in negotiations. He even offered to take over command of negotiations, but that wouldn’t help anyone but himself. “I have been asking all your men and found you don’t have anyone on that mad wolf. How the hell do you expect to protect us if you don’t guard the insane?”

I want to argue, but anything I say, he will just make my temper worse. “Why does it matter to you? She’s my responsibility and I haven’t heard of any problems.”

He crosses his arms and gives me the most pointed expression, reminding me of the governess my dad hired for a short term when I was young. “How do you know of any problems if you don’t have her monitored? Do you know where she is right now? What is she doing?”

I swallow because if I know her, she is probably hidden on so branch, perched like a night owl, where she can observe from the greatest advantage. I learned that early on, she would find the tallest tree with the least overcover and use wards to hide herself. But the ruins don’t have many high spots, but they do have like of dark places. “I don’t think I need to tell you that she can’t probably hear your disdain from the other side of the city.”

He doesn’t laugh, “Get your mutt trained and controlled, or I will. I won’t negotiate with you or anyone else until she is tamed.”

With that, he turns and marches out of the tent. I land in my seat with a heavy plop. I gnaw on my bottom lips and feel the chap and blisters from all my anxiety the last few days. Wait, when was the last time I saw Silence.

I start counting on my fingers and stop at sixteen. It's been sixteen days, and I didn’t even consider she may have fled because of all the opposition she is getting from her people.

I stand up and then notice the food left for me on the table. I crook my head when I get close to it. The aroma is pungent and sweet like tuna. It’s meat? We’ve been serving gruel a mixture of seaweed, root vegetables, and weeds. What meat gets added is usually very little because it's shared amongst everyone.

The tuna around the likes deeper water, and we don’t have any ships for this. I put the succulent piece in my mouth, and it's been seared in rich, flavorful butter. I haven’t tasted butter in months. No one has been able to get the milk from cows enough to churn it.

I leave my tent and look around for my men. I see a few of them talking and sharpening their weapons, “Hey, someone brought me a succulent cut of tuna. How did he get it?”

“Too busy to get your own gruel? You’ve been eating tuna in the gruel for the last week, and you didn’t even notice it.” They all laugh at me, and I shrug because its true. My men have been leaving me food to eat instead of going to get my own. “Its what the fishermen have been bringing in. Now that the second boat is going out there’s plenty more to go around.”

“A second boat?” I say, shaking my head.

“Yeah, the guys who were trying to catch the small fry near the docks said they woke up one morning, and right there in the wharf was a decent rowboat with a single sail. Two men can easily take it out and get a good haul in. A shipwright found it astonishing because he said it looked entirely handmade, and the lumber was freshly cut with limited time to dry, but it was usable to get out to the deep waters sufficiently. A second boat appeared two days ago right next to the first. Now, people are fighting for spots on the boats. Everyone wants to be useful in some way.” One of the men laughs.

“And the butter?” I ask, looking wary.

“Goat’s milk. About two weeks ago, a bit of the ruins had been fenced in with a mother goat with a broken leg. But she’s able to produce a fair amount. You were lucky someone liked you because one of the ladies had taken charge of the little makeshift farm. She even said she went out to milk the goat and said their were chickens and three wild hogs tied down nearby. She’s already ordered people to help house the animals. Maybe we will have eggs available soon.”

I charitable soul is doing what they can. It's amazing how just a boat and a goat have me hoping it was more beneficial to me. But I guess I really was just lucky. “Hey, have you guys seen Princess AmAela lately?”

All of the men jeer and jist, “Did your girlfriend run away from you?”

Rolling my eyes and hiding my embarrassment from their jokes. I walk where I would believe would be the best vantage point in the area. I scan every dark corner, and I can’t find her anywhere.

I turn around and walk to the other side of the capital, and I can’t find her. My heart starts to tremble when I realize she’s not in the city. I sit down next to what would have been a well if it hadn’t been stomped by a giant. I try to keep my anxiety down. She was always nearby, but I’ve been avoiding and unintentionally ignoring her because I didn’t know what to do with the pressures. Now, she is gone, and I have no idea how to get her back.

“Boss? Are you looking for your friend? She’s got herself set up right off the side of the beach. She’s evading everyone.” The voice from earlier. I look back, and it was one of our younger recruits. He was one I was impressed with his natural instincts in fights.

“How do you know?” I accuse him because everyone else has been against her.

“I followed her about two weeks ago and asked if she would be willing to train me because you’ve been too busy. She’s a tough nut to crack, haven’t been able to lay on hit on her. Even with my secret little spell, my father taught me.” he lifts his finger up to his lips. “Don’t know why everyone says she’s mad or crazed. I mean she’s had a shield up around us this entire time. She’s trying hard to protect everyone even when they won’t give her the benefit of a doubt.”

He must be a noble’s son. He has an affinity that would have been brought out and trained in the academy. With all the ancient bloodlines captured by Hou Ndours I’m shocked he was saved. “What do you mean shield?”

“Since my brothers and I joined you. She’s had this shield that would make any of us if fainthearted turn away and hide. We wanted to work with you, so we rushed through the ward, thinking it would smite us instantly. Nope, it welcomed us and brought us in. When we took the capital, she extended it out. It's spectacular.”

I gnaw on my lip again, cursing myself soundlessly, “Will you show me where she is staying?”