Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We stopped at a river when the sun was close to the horizon. I had ridden in the back of the wagon and was so lost in my thoughts that I couldn’t sleep. My body slowly recuperating from the bouncing and jostles of the wagon on the dirt path.

Well, the one time I was able to doze off my dreams sent me to the top of the mountain from my dream. Everything looked the same, and I had a moment of amazement at its beautiful landscape and blur of green and blues poking between the clouds. Until I realized I was on top of the mountain alone. No dark hazel eyed stranger, no children, not a single soul except me. I woke up a little rattled from the overwhelming sadness and loneliness the dream left.

When John starts dismantling and removing the attachment to the horses from the wagon, I jump up to help him remove the bridles so they can graze and drink along the riverbed. My stomach rumbles in hunger, and I swallow down the saliva in my mouth to sate my pallet.

“Princess don’t worry yourself on making camp. You still need to rest and eat.” Andy says as he wraps his hands around my waist. Does he always pull me like this, and I’ve never noticed? I freeze in his grasp as I try to stop the compulsion to push him away from me. I turn in his grasp, and he smiles at me. His smile is just as bright as his blue eyes and blonde hair. I go to protest because even though I am a princess, I have never shrank from the duties as any member of our troop. Even Andy would remind me ‘princess is a title, not a personality’. I think he always tried to make sure to keep me humble.

One of the guards of the paddy wagon rushes up to us, “Captain, the lupine is causing trouble.” Andrew rolls his eyes and offers me a quick hug almost like he is hesitant to walk away from me. Bile in my stomach starts to rise, and I’m glad when he pulls away from me and rushes to the paddy wagons. I really didn’t want to vomit, and after he left, my stomach was able to settle.

I contemplate following to see what is happening, but even if I was about to hurl a moment before a large growl erupts, I groan in silent protest to my aching body. I wave at John as he finishes removing the reigns, and I turn to the other supply wagon. Perhaps we still have something I can snack on before we cook dinner.

I rustle through the bags and can only find a stalk of celery. With a grumble, I gnaw on the end, annoyed as the fine stem thread sticks in between my teeth. I look around the area for our choice of camp tonight. I spy a group of stones about ten feet high overlooking the river. I climb and sit, looking out over the river while I try to finish the celery stalk.

Andrew walks out from the wagons as he makes some orders. He’s assigned duties, and normally, I would be with the hunting party, but he’s acting like he’s not using me tonight. I probably wouldn’t be useful anyway. Two of the men jump into a wagon and grab bows and arrows. Andrew nods at them and then turns to me and smiles. My stomach drops when he looks at me. He mouths a ‘thank you’ to me, and I wave back at him.

A large growl vibrates the rocks around me, and I’m startled a bit when I realize it’s the lupine in the paddy wagon. A flock of geese screeched as they flew away from the river. The smaller birds also screech out their startled expressions as they fly away from us.

Andrew wipes his hand across his face. The obvious annoyance and exhaustion are evident now that I didn’t see in his cheerful face when he was talking with me. He turns around and takes a branch and swings at the paddy wagon.

“You fool! We would have fed you, but you had to go and scare all the game away!” Andrew yells at the wagon. “f*****g collar and muzzle don’t even work.”

The sound of the growl did something to me. There’s a flutter or a small shock running down my spine and my heartbeats faster. I can’t let my cursed wolf make an appearance. I try to meditate to keep my sanity. I quickly start the mantra my mother taught me when I was young. I’ve was lost in my meditation; I didn’t hear Andrew’s staggered breath climbing the rocks to my perch.

Andrew has been one of my oldest friends. I was twelve when I would sneak out and ask for someone to train me to fight. My aunt warned me I would lose control of my cursed wolf if I learned to fight but Andrew helped me prove to her it made me stronger willed. Andrew was the one willing to train me. He’s been my confidant and when my aunt allowed me to join the army it was under his watchful eye.

“Aela, are you alright?” Andrew says with a concern laced in his tone. “Did he scare you?”

I stop my mantra and look into Andrew’s eyes. He seems so weak and pathetic to me right now and I shudder as those words ripple through my mind. Why would I think that now? I place my hand up to temple as I feel a wave of pain through my head. I try to shake it off. Andrew strokes my shoulder, and my hand moves to push it off but I stop it in confusion to the impulse. Andrew’s voice sounds broken as he whispers my name.

“I’m sorry. Every time you touch me, I have a strong urge to push you away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I say slinking myself farther away from him.

Andrew draws his hand back and I can hear him chew on his bottom lip. That’s what he has always done when he is deep in thought. “Okay, I won’t touch you. Is there any other side effect you feel?”

“Side effect to what?” I say with my head tilted to the side in my mix of my emotions.

Andrew sighs and rubs his hands on his thighs after he settles down on the rocks with me. “I used the Zeal Crystal. It’s what we use to stun a Lupine. I tried to order you back during the fight because I didn’t want you to be hurt. You didn’t hear me, and I had to take that beast down. I’ve only been told the crystal affects Lupines. I’ve never had a reason to use it before.”

Well, that makes sense. Stun only affects lupines. No wonder I was feeling groggy and sluggish waking up. I try to assess my other complaints from my body, and other than the headache and muscle aches everything else is hunger and thirst is which is expected after a day without. If I’m feeling this way, then the lupine in the paddy wagon must be strong. Good thing Andrew had that crystal. Wait. I jolt my head back to Andrew and ask, “Why do you have a crystal like that?”

Andrew purses his lips then chews on his bottom lip. He doesn’t want to tell me. He glances at his shoes, and I know he will lie to me, “Every squad gets one in case we run into a mad lupine.”

He has it for me. He’s to stun me in the event I ever lose control, of course. There hasn’t been a stray lupine in a decade. All the lupines are registered and collared so there is no reason to travel with a crystal only for lupine unless it’s for a lupine in your troop. I cross my arms and hide the anger of my best friend lying to me.

Andrew shakes his head and clasps his hands between his knees. He groans out in frustration before choosing to tell me the truth, “Aela, it was given to me for your protection. Stop your monster from doing anything before you hurt someone.”

“Andrew, I understand.” I say not hiding my sorrow from the realization that I’m not trusted. Five years serving with him and still I’m not trusted by him.

“The collar isn’t unbreakable. It’s not because we don’t trust you. If you were captured and they removed your collar you wouldn’t have any control over that monster. Queen Lana worries about you too much to not have safeguards for your return.” Andrew says while stroking his golden hair out of his eyes nervously.

He’s right though. My aunt would do anything to protect her only heir. She never wanted me to be part of her military.

When she even suggested I be enlisted under Marquis Andrew, the grand champion, I was overjoyed. Of course, she would give him the terrible assignment of playing guard for the princess.

“Captain, he’s succeeded!” Fredrick comes running up to us. “Looks like we won’t be able to cook anything tonight.”

Andrew clenches his fist in frustration when he goes to speak, but I interrupt. “There are still fish.”

Andrew is frozen by my voice and looks at me confused. I roll my eyes at him and giggle. “He can scare away everything, but the fish don’t hear.”

Fredrick laughs and nods his head at my wisdom, “True, but we lost our net due to Lenny’s lazy ass attempt of a hammock.”

I jump off the rock and wipe my hands off my thighs. Andrew follows suit and smirks, “What’s the princess thinking?”

My deep voice in my mind echoes the words pathetic and incompetent, but I don’t let it affect me. Andrew, although lied to me at first, he has always been trustworthy and a good commanding officer. “I think we can manage something.”

Back at the wagons I ordered Fredrick to go digging for worms. I pull out the sewing kit in the wagon and pick out three of the rustiest needles out of the five. Really need a new set for our kit. I grabbed some twine and a candle. I sit down on the bank of the river.

“Can you give me a light?” I look up at Andrew with a flirtatious grin. He meets it with one of his own and waves his finger in the air and the candle wick lights a flame. Andrew from a prominent noble ancient family. His line has members over five hundred years old. He’s a great fighter but his bloodline has a few tricks such as fire manipulation.

I return my thoughts to the task at hand. I hold the first needle in the flame and watch the metal turn red. I pull it out and bend the end into a hook. Fredrick returns with a handful of worms. I send him back out for three sturdy branches about the length of a human wingspan and he hurries on his way.

I tie the twine to the needle and move to the next one, and that’s when Fredrick returns with the branches. I tie each twine onto the branches and Andrew has a proud smile. He only says one word before he returns to help set up camp, “Resourceful.”

After only an hour we had enough fish to feed our troops. Andrew chose not to feed our prisoners and blamed the lupine. No one complained. The strange feeling creeped into me; the prison’s didn’t even complain. Something is wrong and I’m not yet sure why it concerns me so much.