Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

After that, he doesn’t speak much to me. I ask him questions, and the answers are either one word, vague, or just silence. We spend all day walking and then camping at night. On the second day, I hear a rabbit and step away to quickly kill it. I grabbed its poor body and ran to catch up to him. He says nothing still, and that night, when I cook it, he doesn’t accept the food.

Silence has become my companion more than him. The voice in my head helps answer my questions about lupines, but even she seems to be off put by his silence towards me. She thinks it has to do with how he disconnected our connection when he was in the dungeon. She said he technically rejected the connection, and the gods haven’t regranted or he hasn’t asked to be forgiven, so we are unattached when we should have the ability to sense him subconsciously.

My wolf has stories about watching my father and mother hunt together and their ability to know each other’s move and could work in unison. She also had a vision of my dad in his wolf form. He was a grey wolf.

We camp again after another long day of traveling. I fall asleep and thankful my dreams haven’t disturbed me. No lonely mountain, just bliss of dreams, not strong enough to remember. I woke up late at night though feeling restless, and I don’t know why. I look around me and see I’m by myself. My muscles tense and spasm as I groan in pain. It feels like my skin is on fire. I plead with the voice in my head to help, but they don’t answer, and I’m worried. I’m so confused by the pain I know I’m delirious. I cry out in deep sobs as the pain intensifies, and I am not able to muffle myself. My eyes are blurry as I curl into a fetal position.

Is this how the madness gets you?

Hands, cold hands, and relief seep into everyo pore from their touch. They land on my feet, and then they are on my arms. I’m not fully even aware when he’s taking my shirt off, but he whispers softly in my ear. Words I can not register, and I stop fighting him. He pulls my pants off, and my sobs are uncontrolled. He wraps me in the cloak as I feel my chest wrap loosen. He pulls away from me, but I call out demanding, “Touch me.”

Another wave of pain washes through me as all my muscles contract together. I weep loudly unable to contain myself. He touches me. Stroking my hair and face while another hand is on my side and hip.

I try to focus on the relieving sensations of his hands, and then, with the passing time, all pain is gone and leaves me in a state of euphoria. I don’t even feel like I’m in my body at all.

I slowly open my eyes, and I can feel his hand stroking my fur. What fur? I step back away from him in disbelief as I realize I’m on four legs. I’m a wolf. My mate in front of me stands while observing me with the night breeze blowing around him. He picks up my clothes and folds them while he removes his own. He stuffs all our belongings into his cloak, even my own cloak, and transforms into his wolf while wearing his cloak.

I am amazed when the cloak disappears in his wolf form. He still hovers over my form with his size. But when he approaches me, he lowers his head, resting it across my shoulders. It's almost like an embrace, and my wolf is in bliss. I feel the joy of having him close. A force who seems to care for me. I purr, and he growls in response, creating a new sensation. I start to lick and nibble his neck in response, and after a long pause, I realize what I’m doing and step away, shaking my head and body so hard I nearly fall.

He walks out of the clearing of our camp, and I follow him. When he feels me at his side, he picks up his pace until we are running. The night air whipped around us as we crossed the dense forest terrain. I let him lead and just enjoy the run.