Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 93

Chapter 93

Aela’s POV

Sunlight touches my face, and I open my eyes slowly into the still dim ship cabin. I shift and can hear the chains rustle. My sight is drawn to the open window shutters and stray beams of light resting on the furniture of the cabin. The wind is crisp and filled with saltwater and pushes in and out of the fixture on the wall. It’s the lightest in the room since I first awoke.

My throat burns, and I can still taste the bitterness from my vomiting. I shift to sit up and notice the covers have been replaced on the bed. I quickly scanned the room, but no one was present in the room with me.

Guilt strikes me hard when I find myself overcome by all these turbulent emotions. My mate is a king, and he has a role and tasks he has to accomplish. He can not be at my beck and call. I wrap my arms around my legs and feel the shackles are pulled taut.

I stare in shock at the gauze wrap around my wrist and ankles. I play with the edge while my mind can not stop demeaning myself.

Since I was a girl, I have always wanted to read more. The fictional stories about the prince rescuing the princess and they live happily ever after. They are really only tales in the end. I guess I always believe the princesses in the stories were usually dimwitted and weak. I would have tried to save myself.

Maybe that is why I am not a good mate. I only seem to care about my betrothed when I am so far into trouble, I can't find a way out. He has to forcibly remove me. When he has his own priorities and people to protect, he has to save me.

Stomps of running patter break my thoughts when the floor above me shifts with the movement on dock. I try to lean as close as I can to the window to hear what is happening outside, but most voices and movements are muffled.

“Call them back because the moment they return, we will lift anchor and leave. I’m through here.” My mate’s voice is just barely audible. But yet I can hear his anger and irritation in the tone. The peace assembly must not be going well if he is planning to leave with that tone.

“Yes, Your Highness.” A response is as loud as a whisper, and I can just barely make out someone’s protest. As more movement and shuffle can be heard and felt through the vibrations of the wood around me.

I straight the smock around me and sit up, and I can feel my excitement. It falters the longer the door does not open. I stare, waiting for him to come through so he can talk with me and feel my heart start to break when he does emerge into my prison.

Feeling the exhaustion in muscles, I lay back down on the bed but never let my eyes leave the door.

With a giant sigh, I close my eyes when I feel sleep reaching for me again. The endless cycle of awareness and drowsiness seeping back and forth. I feel the tears fall from my eyes when all I want is to be in his arms again. I do not deserve to be his mate.

The cruel and callous princess does not deserve to be mated to the compassionate and protective king.

He saved me from my curse, but it did not mean I deserved to live.

A warm damp cloth wipes my face and my eyes little by little open to my mate cleaning my face. Every stroke is slow and soft. His voice is low, “I am glad you are awake. You had me worried that you had hurt yourself with convulsions.”

“It did scare me a bit.” I mumbled as he let go of my face and walked away from me. I groan, and he stops and slowly looks back at me. My face flushes when I realize what I have just done. I am in no position to make demands, but my body does not want him to leave me.

He walks back to the bed, lifts me up while he slips in underneath me. He pulls me into a comfortable spot on his lap, allowing both hands access to my body. He pulls his head close to me. “Is this better?”

“Are you leaving your work because of me?” I whisper, knowing my voice would crack if I spoke anything louder.

“No. Staying is just a waste of time. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I would, but the Lions’ peace talks, particularly in the matter of Redland and Bellar, are a hair-brained idea. Always has been. It would never succeed even if both parties agreed.” He says, pulling me closer.

“That says a lot coming from you.” I say, playing with the collar of his tunic. My heart still hurts because I still feel like I do not deserve this attention from him, but my body does not want to push him away.

He has done so much for me, and I have done nothing for him. Even when we were traveling, nearly every time I craved his body, he would let me indulge. Now, he has been my savior, and he has nursed me back to health. I should repay him because he would never hurt me.

Andrew.

My body shudders at the memory of that horrible night. I deserved that for all the horrible things I have done while affected by the curse. The shudders will not stop, and my lungs start to heave, causing me to hyperventilate.

“Delia! Delia! Do not leave me.” His voice stirs me a little, but I do not even feel moved. His arms are around me, squeezing me tightly. “Aela, please. Come back to me.”

I know tears are falling from my eyes, but since I am having so much trouble breathing and focusing on anything but the pain in my chest and lungs. His concern is heard, but I feel so numb. All my senses have been dulled, and with them, any emotion to have sympathy is long gone with them.

Gasping for breath, and I almost hoped it would not come. To just close my eyes and not waking up again is so appealing. His voice whispers softly, “Forgive me, Nadar.”

A moment of terror enfolds me as I feel the strain of something dark and sinister wrap around me. All I see is darkness. All I hear is darkness. All I feel is endless depth of darkness.