Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

“It was me.” I admitted to him, and he didn’t even flinch. “I did that to myself before I had any recollection of what I was doing.”

He turns to me, and his expression is almost warm. “You had to have done it intentionally, and I could tell it was built under heavy distress. Whatever place you go to when you do that mantra is filled with memories, but that box wants to cling to you. Something attacked you there before because you were instantly hostile towards me. You tried to save whatever is locked in that box.”

“Box? I thought it was a wall. Like a boulder covered in algae in the sea.” I say, watching the intensity of his eyes. I could almost I imagine seeing his mind turning with the information. He seems to almost enjoy a challenge.

“I perceived it as a large warehouse with wooden boxes everywhere, and you were stuck to a metal safe.” He says nonchalantly, almost in an attempt to hide his interest.

I cross my arms and think about it for a bit, “Have you ever done that before?”

He presses his lips into a thin line and rubs his fingers together, and I’m almost scared he will make me forget this conversation. “Yes. It's not my first time trying to help someone in a similar situation.”

I close my mouth and think about his wording. That tendril scared me at first, but it reminded me of the tendrils he used when he killed the men on the path. Anytime the tendrils reached out towards me, they always went for caress almost like each tendril had a mind of its own, and at some point, during his fight, they each wanted to know I was unharmed.

I lay my head down on his shoulder and nestle into his side. He opens his arms, accepting the embrace. “So you can’t break the spell because of the complex tangled mess. I can’t break it because I think it's blocking me from my ability to handle magic. What’s the next thing to try?”

“They wouldn’t be able to break that spell, but if the gods find you acceptable. They might be able to help you work around it. We should try communing with the gods and see if they will answer.” He says, stroking my shoulder.

“Lupine or Redland?” I ask softly, and he chuckles.

“They are the same. Redland was the lupine nickname for the land of people without a god or ancient lands. The people arrived in droves and would make towns and then have wars always making their fields and rivers red. The Black and White wolves felt pity over them and chose to be their protectors because the wars would hinder the health of the forest. Grey, Red, and Brown stayed in the forest to commune with the ways they held for multiple epochs. Redland’s gods aren’t like the other countries because the people were originally exiled and found asylum on the edge of the Lupine forests. It was the duty of the Black and White lines to make sure they were protected from anyone willing to destroy our forest while maintaining the border of the forest.” He says while stroking circles on any skin he can find.

“That’s not what I was trained by my princess tutor.” I teased while nestling closer into him.

“Of course not. Your role has changed with the growth and evolution of the people you serve. It’s the strength of the unit that has ruled over the land for generations, but it’s also the weakness that was the downfall of the lupines.” He says, and my gut drops.

“The story of Delia. She was blessed with the ability to summon light swords so she could protect Redland from a demon coming to devour souls. It was her role as a black wolf to protect Redland from any unwelcome source that could harm the forest.” I say in some recognition and then look up at him. “If I seek to commune with the lupines, would they tell me you are a threat? You have that sinister feeling about you, and you were traveling with Bellar’s Royal Army.”

“I’ve made my peace with the Lupines gods. They have made some judgements in my life. I felt that at the time, it was unfair, but they have been righteous in their motives, and I have to respect that. I had done nothing to offend them, and I thought they had written me off, but then you introduced yourself to me, and I knew they didn’t hold anything against me. They gave me you.” He kissed the top of my head, and I smiled at the thought. But then the voice told me about how distraught he was when he learned about our bond.

“The voice said when you learned about us, you were distraught. You had come to warn my father about something bad about to happen and that you would protect as many as you could.” I say repeating her words.

“I was distraught. Because I found you and I couldn’t stay with you. It wasn’t because I didn’t want you. I was the last black wolf I had an ancient vow I had to withhold.” He says with a tear streaking down from his eye. I wipe it off, and he kisses my hand. I’ve been so angry and impatient because he doesn’t answer my questions, but now, I get it. So much has happened in his lifetime, and I’m not ready for his dark secrets, nor is he ready for me to know.

I pull up from his side and shift to where I’m straddling him. I move to kiss him, and he welcomes me into his arms, pulling me closer to him. The rest of the night, I just cherished the gift that was given to me. I will not waste one morsel much like the elk. I will show I’m grateful for everything.