Strange wholesomeness

Chapter five: the urge

The calls from his manager were burning a hole in his pocket. He dismissed the last one with just a text message. 

> I’ll be back in 10 minutes. Needed some space.

There was no reply. It was just delaying the inevitable but it gave him some comfort that he has 10 more minutes for himself. He was outside of his home but he was determined to use every single minute of solitude. 

After all, it wasn’t his home. He didn't even know what it was. A dream came true of a prison. He entered the building and headed towards his room. He wasn’t ready for the fight with the manager so he just wrote another message. 

> I’m back. Going to sleep. 

A knock that was more of a pound reached his door a minute later. He didn’t even close the door. It was pointless as the manager had all the keys so he could enter any room anytime. He stormed into the room with another lecture about the public image that might be destroyed by his roaming around. He heard it so many times that it almost felt a familiar warmth in the heart that somebody actually cares about him like a parent. But deep down he knew that no one did. His parents forced him to pursue this path right after they realised that a small-town boy is growing up to be significantly prettier than his colleagues and has a really nice voice. And his manager cared about him to the point where it served the band. He was precious and he knew about it but it wasn’t him that they cared about. It was this face and the surprising popularity he gained over his bandmates that made it almost impossible to imagine the whole team without Jun. 

Then came the long monologue about the public image and how unpredictable and hard to handle he was. 

That success came into his head and he was no longer the ambitious, hard-working boy he used to be. He didn’t listen much. His head was elsewhere and his manager knew it. And that infuriated him even more. He felt like losing control over his most precious gem. It wasn’t the case for today though. He needed to sleep before the commercial shooting tomorrow so the manager gave up and left him in the dim room covered in a blanket. What Jun didn’t fully understand was that the middle-aged guy worked his ass off to get them to the top and was particularly worried about him. So he doesn’t make any mistakes that he’d regret for the rest of his life. 

Not that Jun cared about anything when he sneaked out again 5 sleepless hours later. His feet simply led him forward. 

And he made a fool of himself writing to this woman. What was in his head? She probably didn’t even give him a real number. At this point, he wished she didn’t. 

He felt this long-awaited buzz in his pocket and for a second thought that he was discovered again by his manager. This time it wouldn’t pass so easily so he really feared looking at the phone. But it wasn’t the manager. 

> As long as you promise quit strawberries. I really like my clothes. 

She pushed send and realized what time it was. 

His heart sank. So it was a real number. 

> You’ve got it. - he replied without any second thought. And right after pushing send felt like an i***t again. She won’t answer. I didn’t even hold the conversation. 

> As you don’t seem to care about the beauty sleep too much, perhaps you are free now? - he typed like a real fuckboy that he actually never was. It’s all about me being an i***t from the very beginning so why would it be any different now. 

So after a few seconds, he typed. 

> I’m not that a psycho killer, just couldn’t sleep and would really enjoy some company that doesn’t judge city walks at 4 am. 

She won’t answer anymore. That’s for the best. He won’t have any stupid thoughts if she gets scared away. 

He collapsed on the bench feeling the awaited but feared buzz in his hands. 

> Where?

Holy f**k. 

He sent a pin with his current location and froze in place. If she comes, I’m not sure who’s the crazier one out of us two. 

He had everything to lose if some sleepless teenager took a picture of him right there with a strange, intimidating yet so familiar woman. But he didn’t care as if some instinct took over him right there.