Lost

Chapter 6

The biggest helplessness in this world is when you aren't able to defend yourself from your own inner self. 

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Skylar's P.O.V 

Your mind can either be your friend or enemy, either it will help you in crises or it will allow you to happily asphyxiate yourself into the zone of problems. Well, in my situation my mind is acting my biggest enemy and it is provoking me to give up on myself. These days I'm cursing those freaking memories a lot, I'm tormenting my brain to reveal some secrets but it seems as if my mind is enjoying my shitty situation. Gone are the days, when I felt irritated due to some nasty creeps of high schools who used to bully me or those perverts in my college who used to eye-f**k me or when I got stuck in the traffic or having a day full of miseries. These days my brain is irritating me and I can't even find a solution regarding the helplessness coming from my own bloody organ. If some external elements bother you then you have a f*****g reason and source to express your anger but when your own body is making your life a living hell then what will you do? Hurt yourself? Nah! I ain't that weak or will you try to converse with yourself? Trust me I've been talking with myself with a stupid hope that my inner self will enlighten me, the walls and objects of my room are the witnesses to my self- conversation but nothing seems to work in my case. 

So, ladies and gentlemen here I'm sitting in front of Dr. Michael, a well-known psychiatrist. He has been studying my hospital reports with a frown plastered on his forehead. Maybe, I'm the first patient with a weird mental problem. I hope he won't treat me like a lab-rat and perform his various treatments on me in order to discover the new mental disorder in the market. He sighed after reading my reports and looked at me. 

"Ms. Skylar, today we will be discussing your problem, after that, I'll decide the medication required and the treatment you need to undergo." I nod positively, what else can I do in this situation? 

"So, tell me what exactly happened that day?" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before answering his question.

"I only remember Ashley's house party." He nods indicating me to continue. 

"I went to her house and gulped down a few shots, I was drunk slightly. It was getting late so I decided to go home. The last thing I remember is leaving her house." I tried to remember some extra detail that can be helpful for my treatment but didn't get anything, my mind was blank as usual. 

"Do you remember anything related to driving back to your house? Like you met with an accident or went somewhere?" 

"I don't remember anything doctor, even if I met with an accident then how I went missing for 2 years? My parents found my car parked outside Ashley's house." I was stressed man, I'm seriously feeling frustrated. 

"Relax miss! Do you get any blurry flashbacks related to your memories? I mean any traces associated with the missing part of your life." I nod hesitantly, he asked me to explain everything. 

Now, how come I share those incidents that are a huge mystery to me. What happened last night is kind of impossible, he will surely put me into mental asylum if I told him regarding the events occurring in my life. I guess I shouldn't inform him about those flashbacks, they are not even real. My mind is playing its nasty game with me as always. 

"The flashbacks are very blurry, I don't even know if they are associated with my lost memories or not. I wasn't able to visualize properly the last time I saw those flashes they were too blurry. Will, I even get my memories back doctor?" I immediately switched to panic mode as soon as this thought crossed my mind.

"Calm down miss, this much stress isn't good for your brain. Let's discuss your medication and after two days we can start your treatment." I nod in approval as soon as he finished his statement. 

He started explaining my medicines while my thoughts were roaming around all the incidents trapped inside my head that my brain is refusing to share. The doctor advised me to avoid stress but I'm not able to do this, it is difficult to ignore a huge part of memories erased from your mind. What kind of life I had 2 years back? Did some mafia kidnap me for some purpose? or I met with an accident or... Damm! there are tons of reasons what if the reason behind this web of confusion is totally unexpected? How do I manage my life without money, clothing, etc, etc? 

"Miss I have noted down all the medicines, follow the schedule and we would be able to free you from this state. No, overthinking or stress, it will only harm your brain." 

I nod in approval and thanked him for his time. I collected the prescription and handed him his fees before leaving his cabin. 

Now, let's wait and watch what's going to happen next. It seems my life is out of my control. My brain will work whenever it wants, sleep will envelop me without my consent, even my voluntary actions are being controlled by ... God knows who? Sometimes I even feel that I don't belong to this world. Funny, right? well, you guys can laugh at my expense but that's what I'm feeling right now. I feel as if my heart is trying to hide something from me. Now, I'm officially mad, the blood pumping organ of my body is hiding something from me. Sky you have officially gone insane. Let's end my irritating self conversation with a sixer, I feel as if my soul is linked with someone. Now now now, the irony of this statement is I never had a f*****g boyfriend during my school or college life and right now I sense the connection of someone with my soul. Go ahead Sky, tell your thoughts to your family members and let them kick your stupid ass into a mental-asylum. Do yourself and everyone a favor, stop forming these fantastic thoughts in your good for nothing brain. 

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Xavier's P.O.V

Consternation!

It is the only word that can describe my mental situation at this moment. One important thing that I have learned all these decades is that our words are more powerful than any other weapon. Your words can make you powerful or helpless, every organism on this planet has the power of words in their own way but the only difference is some use their power wisely while some degrade its meaning and there are some who don't even try to use it for some purpose good or bad no matter what. I'm sitting in my library staring at the thick book lying in front of me which has everything associated with our history. 

Just mere words of Raziel were enough for collapsing my world, see I already told you that words carry a high amount of power. I wasn't injured with any sort of sword but the intensity of Raziel's words has shattered my hopes terribly. Here I was expecting that I will find a way of dealing with my problems but it seems as if every freaking object of this universe is plotting against me. My mind was already filled with recent information I got from Raziel when I felt my mate's distress. I immediately called my men who were keeping a check on Skylar, as the distance between us increased we can't use mind links so, at that time, we have to use human technology. I got to know that she went inside a psychiatrist's clinic. She will feel more depressed now but I can't tell her about anything or else she will be again involved in my world. No psychiatrist can help her out in this situation, either I or some other supernatural creature who is as powerful as me can bring back her memories. How am I going to bare her defenseless self? she can't even defend herself from all the creepiness surrounding her vision. Her sadness is making me weak but I can't drop the walls separating us right now. 

We will meet again Skylar but for some time you have to go through this torture, don't worry I'm with you in this situation as well, challenging the mating bond, pushing away your mate, living a broken life without your better half equals to torture for every wolf and me being an alpha king doesn't help in this condition, I have intense emotions as compared to other wolves so my pain is intensified whenever you are hurt and the reason behind your sadness is me. If I'm a thirsty wanderer then she's my oasis who soothe me with her magical touch, if I'm an injured soul shattered into millions of pieces then she's my elixir treating me tenderly with her love if I'm a devil burning in hell then she's an angel made in heaven for curing this devil's heart with her care. Now, that she's away from me I'm losing all the hopes of living a happy life with her. Hopefully, someday we will be sitting wrapped within each other embrace discussing our future pups and how our love overcame every struggle. 

I sighed and analyzed the book which belongs to our family, it's an ancient book with cover made of copper and the scripts written in an ancient language, this text covers the information of all the ancient events, my forefathers, their culture, the evolution of werewolves, everything required for understanding our history. There is a description of the powers of alpha kings, magical spells that kings are made to learn, no common wolf can use these spells as they don't belong to the royal family of wolves not even the alphas of the packs. According to Raziel, all my answers are written in this book. 

I know about our history with Sybil but according to Raziel, there is some information that I can only gain after going through this book. The story of Sybil began when my great grandfather was the king of the werewolf empire. If I need to connect all the dots then I need to consult the history of my great grandfather, Alpha king Adoff. As soon as I opened the required chapter, I was greeted with an image of my late great grandfather who was a powerful king at that time. He was the one who put an end to Sybil's chapter so he's the only one who can provide information regarding Sybil as she rose to power during his rule. 

I started reading the text with a peaceful mind, all his great works for wolves across the world inspires me, I wish to be like him, selfless and brave. My elders and all the packs respect him and today I got to know the actual reason behind that, his contributions are worth cherishing, his bravery, persona, lifestyle, every freaking thing screams perfection. He's the epitome of supremacy, he is the one who has maintained the peace in our kingdom by capturing Sybil but now I need to follow his footsteps. 

I need to save my empire as well as my mate from that ruthless creature who will destroy our community if I failed at any step. I focussed on every single detail associated with Sybil and her minions but one thing is confusing me, why the hell Raziel told me that Skylar is associated with all this mess? What is her role in this upcoming battle? 

I sighed and continued reading until my eyes landed on a text which depicted something that was enough for creating havoc within me. If this is the truth then Skylar needs to be kept away from them all. 

Raziel's advise was accurate, it was important for me to send her away. They wanted her that's why they kept on attacking our packs, now when she's away they are quiet and hidden into their hideout. They are trying to reach her that's why the barrier was disturbed. 

As stated in the book, Sybil will rose to power once again and it seems as if the time is near. I need to guard Skylar as her life is at stake.

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Sometimes, I just wish to be in your arms away from all the problems of the world.