Liars Like Us

20

When Dani glances guiltily at Mia, I decide it’s time to change the subject. “Don’t give up just yet. I have faith in you. And now let’s talk about something cheerful. Who has good news?”

The three of us look at each other while the dog races around the table, barking at nothing, and Ryan’s dad throws the remote control across the room at the television.

I sigh heavily. “Okay, fine. Tell me what you found out about Callum McCord.”

Instantly, Dani perks up. “Lots. He’s thirty-five, never been married, and lives in this gigantic mansion in Bel Air that used to belong to Jennifer Lopez. He’s the oldest of three brothers who all work for the company. You have to check out this family photo.”

She jumps up, grabs her laptop from the kitchen counter, and returns to set it on the table next to me. Opening a browser, she clicks on a saved link. A photo appears on the screen.

Impressed, I say, “Wow. Talk about good genetics. Those people all look like they were created by AI.”

It’s a formal picture, the posed kind where everyone’s gathered stiffly together in front of a hearth wearing their best smiles. Except for the dark-haired man standing next to Callum. He’s scowling as if someone just told him his dog had been shot.

“Who’s the one with the pissy face?”

Dani takes her seat again, saying, “The middle brother, Cole. He looks like that in every picture. Handsome and murderous.”

“And the one with the dimples?”

“Carter, the youngest.”

“And that must be his grudge-holding dad sitting in front of them all like King Charles.”

“Isn’t his mother beautiful? Guess how old she is?”

“I dunno. Fiftyish?”

“Sixty-four.”

Callum’s mother stands directly behind her seated husband. A slender redhead wearing a blue dress with a plunging neckline, she gazes out from the photo with a serene smile, radiating the kind of tranquil confidence that comes from sleeping on piles of money every night.

“They’re all beautiful. It’s unnatural. I bet they made a pact with the devil. Pass me the Parmesan.”

Dani slides the jar across the table while Ryan wolfs down his food and I sprinkle more cheese over my plate.

“Okay, but you want to know the really interesting thing?”

Looking at her sly smile, I’m nervous all over again. “What?”

“Not only has Callum never been married, he’s never been engaged. So that rock he waved in your face never belonged to anyone before.”

“He didn’t wave it. He set it on the table. And how do you know he’s never been engaged?”

“There’s no mention of a girlfriend in any of the articles about him. No pics of him at charity functions with models on his arms. Nary a mention of anyone he’s been linked to on his Wikipedia page or in the tabloids, and those things always have the dirt. For such a rich and good-looking guy, he doesn’t seem to date.”

“He said he had to keep secrets because of his family’s position. That he couldn’t trust anyone. So it was probably a private engagement. Some people like to keep their business out of the tabloids.”

“Or maybe he bought that ring for you.”

I shake my head in amusement. “Oh, sure. He overheard my sad story at dinner one night, and the next morning, he marched directly into the nearest Harry Winston store and bought the biggest rock he could find.”

“Hey, stranger things have happened.”

I look to Ryan for support. “Please tell your wife she’s hallucinating.”

Feeding Mia a bite of pasta, he says, “I would, but she’s within swinging distance.”

Dani insists, “Just consider the possibility, Em.”

“That man could marry any girl he wanted. I know I’m a sparkly explosion of f*****g awesomeness, but I’m not his type.”

Waving her hands in the air, Mia shrieks, “Fuckie!”

In the living room, Ryan’s father shouts, “Bullshit!” at Vanna White.

Dani says, “Okay, then, how about this? What if Callum’s father really did give him that ultimatum? And Callum was so pissed off about the whole thing that he decided to get back at his father by marrying someone…”

She looks me up and down, then scrunches up her nose. “Inappropriate.”

“You’re lucky you make good lasagna, lady, otherwise this fork would already be embedded in one of your eyeballs.”

“C’mon. You know what I mean. Daddy Dearest probably expected his son would run to the nearest socialite named Cordelia who owns polo ponies and wears cashmere sweater sets with her Mikimoto pearls, right? But instead, Callum decides to get a little payback and rebel against his dad’s stupid ultimatum by getting engaged to Wednesday Addams.”

I look at Ryan again. “Remind me why I like your wife?”

He smiles at her. “Because she’s beautiful and funny.”

“No, that’s why you like her. I think she’s about as funny as a suspicious rash.”

Dani says, “There’s only one way to find out if he’s serious, Em.”

I warn, “Don’t even say it, cuckoo bird.”

With a flourish of her fork, she pronounces, “Say yes.”

I sigh and look at the ceiling.

Ryan agrees, the traitor. “It’s worth a try. If somebody were offering me a boatload of money to save my whole life, I’d definitely consider it.”

That makes me laugh. “Really? You’d sleep with a total stranger for ten million bucks?”

Ryan glances at Dani, then looks at me. “Before I got married, I would’ve slept with a total stranger for nothing at all.”

Dani smacks his arm affectionately. “Slut.”

“Former s**t, now happily married. Besides, from what I’m hearing, this guy never said anything about s*x, right?”

Frowning, I think about it. “No…but doesn’t it go without saying that s*x is expected?”