Dairy of a psychopath

My life in a nutshell

A.Sambo 

My name is Abdulrazaq Sambo but I'm called haleefa because I was named after my grandad. I'm the third born out of 5,i have an elder brother and sister, a junior brother and sister. I can't feel things, I mean feelings like love, happiness, sadness and betrayal, In other words a PSYCHOPATH, I was raised by my aunt suwaiba. 

the moment you come to understand someone  is a PSYCHOPATH all you think about is that they are capable of harming, the same goes for my mom, that's why I was raised by my aunt, except my brothers who happen to always hang around me. my mom won't let my sisters come near me before thinking i could hurt them, Not that I care of course. 

On a Thursday evening after I came home from work I was tired and exhausted, deciding to take a nap I interrupted by my little sister amal. she's 25, even though my mom didn't like my sisters getting close to me when we were young amal didn't care, she was always trying to have a conversation with me no matter how short it was. 

"did you just come back from work?" he robust voice questioned the obvious 

"isn't it obvious" I reply courtly 

"arent you forgetting something?" sue bat her eyelashes at me 

"no I don't think so" 

"o.k well Abba and mommy are asking for you." she rolled her eyes disappointed, She turned to walk away but I called her back. She turned around and I threw her a paper bag, 

"happy birthday!" I mumbled walking past her

"oh my God is this a sephora contour platelet, eye liner, foundation! omg thanks a lot" she blabs  hugging me before running out of the room. I shake my head vigorously, girls and make up. 

I strolled to the living room to find Abba and mommy, as soon as I entered I bent down to pay respects to them... 

"good afternoon" 

"Back from work already?" I shake my head 

"I'm off earlier than usual, I'm done with what I'm currently working On."

"I and your dad have something very important we'll like to talk to you about." She spoke softly 

"your mom and I think it's time you get married, I mean your not getting any younger." He states with conviction 

"Ok, whatever you say is good with me" I agree nonchalantly 

"just OK?" Mom asked puzzled and kind of disturbed 

"well I'm sure you have someone in mind and I'm fine with it." 

"so you're not going to rebel or something?" She asked to confirm my motive 

"what's the use? I might as well just settle down" I shrug carelessly 

Whenever I'm around mama i could tell the guilt she felt, how distant she is towards me, not that I care but it makes me uncomfortable. 

"I'll call Aunty and tell her about it." I answer taking my phone out of my pocket 

I was raised by my aunt suwaiba {my dad's younger sister} she and her husband uncle danjuma, I grew up with with a their only daughter Nafisa. my mom treated me so bad and at a time couldn't stand being around me, so my aunt who didn't have a child at that time took me in. not long after she gave birth to a child, she has never treated me like a PSYCHOPATH or made me feel like one. 

I was grateful to her and for her. After i clocked 25 my dad decided to bring me back home, apparently my mom kept complaining and she wanted me to come home. that was 5 years ago, since then my mom tried to make up for her "mistakes" as she calls it. 

"no! You should go see her." My dad suggested 

"if I go, she won't let me come back."

"that's true, the same thing happened 3 months ago when you went to visit her." He laughs loudly 

"just call her, that's also fine." Mom answered I'm a cold voice 

My mom didn't like how close I was with aunty suwaiba, I don't know why though. 

"actually I think baba has a point, I should go and see her it's been long." 

"you visited her 3 months back, it's not been that long, besides you're working remember?" She rolled her eyes looking mildly irritated 

"leave the boy alone, if he wants to go then let him go." My dad said coming to my rescue 

::::

I enrooted to Kaduna by 12:15 pm, it was a long journey, I arrived at 3:15 pm. I was at the gate when I called aunt suwaiba to let her know that no one was at the gate, soon the gateman arrived to open It and I went in. As soon as I came out of the car aunt suwaiba hugged me. 

"Haba how long has it been since you called your mother?" She complained

"I'm sorry aunt that won't happen again, but I called you 5 days ago." I smile staring at her 

"To me, it's more like a week, you promised to call every day when you left here 3 months ago." 

"I'm sorry, I guess I've been busy these few days." 

As I was conversing with aunty Nafisa came out of the house. 

"Yaya haleefa welcome home" she hugged me tight with a huge smile on her face 

"Nafi how are you doing?"

"I'm doing good and you?" She answered playing with my fingers 

"OKAY, how is your service going?"  We walk towards the house engaging in small conversations 

"I completed it last week" 

"That's good, I wish only good things come to you" I reply with a small smile 

We walked into the house laughing and talking, I gobbled up my lunch and ate to my satisfaction. I missed aunt's food, she was a really good cook. 

"I haven't seen uncle yet!" I questioned looking around 

"he traveled to Zaria but he'll be back today." I nod sipping my lemonade 

we were talking about work and all when a knock interrupted us, aunty was quick to open it. My uncle walked in with his king legs and intimidating physic we said our greetings and talked a bit about work. 

"There is something I need to announce, it's the reason I had to visit earlier than planned" I spoke out

"I hope it's good news." My aunt asked worriedly 

"yeah I think it is, I'm getting married," I announced ripping the bandage off 

"OH!" That was all that came out of my aunt's mouth, She didn't look happy for me, I don't know why but I wasn't exactly curious about it. she looked startled as well, Nafisa stood up and walked out without a word. 

"Alhamdulillah, this is good news, it's about time you did." A happy smile played on his lips 

"who made this decision?" Her cold voice asked 

"Abba and mommy."

"no, I'll talk to your dad not to force you into an arranged marriage, I don't like the sound of it" she replied bluntly 

"I agreed to it, I don't mind, it's not like I have anyone and I've also heard she's a distant relative of ours" I spoke softly 

"okay toh if you've agreed to it, there's nothing left for me to say. excuse me" she stood up and left 

 she left the living room with a disappointing look on her face, Aunty isn't the quiet type. I don't know why she's acting weird about all this.

Nafisa's 

I couldn't believe Yaya haleefa is getting married, I've had a crush on him since I was a little girl and I've never dated any guy thinking he'll someday feel the same way for me. marriage? I felt like dying, it's one thing for your feelings to be unrequited and the other to know it can never be possible. I was thinking mama came into my house room, I quickly move away not wanting her to see the tear streaks on my face.

"Nafisa are you crying?" Her soft voice drifted into my ears making me cry harder 

"Mama, how can he be getting married? you promised he'd come around but he doesn't even know how I feel about him." My voice cracked as I sobbed harder 

"I never thought he'll get married anytime soon, I wanted to bring up you two to his dad but it looks like he already had someone in mind." 

"I've never liked anyone but him all my life" I buried my head on my knees 

"don't worry, one way or another I'll make sure you two end up together even if it's the last thing I do" she rubs my back with a conviction strong in her voice 

Abdulrazaq 

After dinner we sat down in the living room together, mama still looked vexed I wonder why? 

"so Nafisa what do plan on doing next?" I asked my baby cousin 

"About to start applying for work and, I already have an interview on Monday" she crocked with red-rimmed eyes, I wonder what happened to her.

"well there's this college of mine who's looking for an assistant, what do you think?" She looks to be thinking it through 

"do you have an assistant?" Aunt asked curiously 

"no, not really, I haven't found any that catches up to my expectations" I answer cordially

"scratch that, why don't you hire her as your assistant?" A smile graces aunts lips 

"yeah that didn't cross my mind, but what do u think nafi?" I turn to look at the wide eyes girl 

"yeah it's a great idea, I know how you like things. I'm sure I'll be able to catch up in no time" her voice cheery and Hugh pitched 

"so let's talk about your salary, how about 160,000 a month?" She shakes her hand 

"no That's a lot, 30k is alright," Aunt interjected 

"no aunt suwaiba I know women and their expenses, that makeup stuff alone cost a fortune. I bought Amal those makeup stuff for her birthday and it cost a lot, almost a 160k" 

"fine 35k" she answered fiercely 

"nope 155k, I'm not going any lower," I say not backing down.

"fine I hear you, he'll be leaving In two days so you better start packing." She turns to address Nafisa 

"well it looks like I have to start packing as well" she excused herself leaving us to continue from where we stopped.

We got ready to go back to Abuja, I could see the sadness in my aunt's eyes. we said our goodbyes and we went our way. 

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We arrived home safely where mama welcomed Nafisa and I, amal on the other hand, didn't seem happy to see her which Is unlike her, she was always cheerful. 

After I ate and prayed I was ready to sleep,  amal interrupted me from coming into my room. 

"Amal what again? I want to sleep." I almost whined, I was exhausted 

"I'm just a messenger or the bearer of good news" she answered with a smile 

"good news? Let me hear it" I answer sitting up against the headboard of the bed 

"Tomorrow we're going to visit my sister-in-law to be and make everything official, omg am so excited for you." She squealed wiggling her eyebrow 

"I don't see how that's good news for me, in case you haven't noticed I'm not over the moon about the whole issue. Just neutral" I shrug with a yawn 

"I know but at least just act like you are, mama wants to get along with you but she's feeling guilty. she's trying her best to make you happy." I could tell she was upset, no more like frustrated 

" I know but she can't make up 28 years of my life in just 5 years. I'm still not used to her but for your sake, I will so don't make that face again." Her being sad made me uncomfortable for some reason 

"what face?" She asked confused  

"the depressed face."

"I just want us to be a normal family, just like everyone else" her soft and sad voice begged 

"we stopped being normal after what transpired 28 years ago," I spoke up looking everywhere but at her 

"I know, I don't think we'll ever be. 28 years ago ruined your life and made you this way." Her hands clench into a fist in anger 

"I know, but don't let it affect you, there are some things we can't change." I oat her head trying to calm her down 

She was almost in tears, I know she wasn't even born 28 years ago but the event that occurred that day successfully dragged her into it and made her a victim. No, it made all of us victims.