Paradoxical Love

Chapter 34: Sunflower

Fleeting gently, fading as it had ever been,

The delicate flower bloomed from being unseen,

How there will be wonder, how there is no place to gather,

The light never reached the unyielding and dying sunflower.

Red velvet of abundance, crossing the planes of water Styx,

The soul of the wondering c*****e, my spirit could never be fixed.

Mindful; although there is a great tragedy,

At the end of life once became so lovely.

How would I reach the end of forbidden?

If my life and sword are destined to be forsaken?

I remembered... a sweet sound of your voice,

Now became howling despair of noise.

Darkness filled my heart remains nothingness,

Now turned into a mistake of carelessness.

There are no regrets, even the last spark of light vanished,

The whole of me has been reduced and diminished.

Until the time, until the day I met you;

My heart had set itself only for you.

The recollections of the past and future,

Lies beneath the underworld's rupture.

There are regrets, there is the change of sense,

Not even my soul could be sold as recompense.

Just like the sunflower never got to see the sunlight,

Yet, I have never seen the true salvation of the night.

.

.

.

The Council President had read the poem I wrote for her titled, "Sunflower", as meticulously as possible that her eyebrows became connected. She looked at me confused unable to grasp its meaning, I'm getting embarrassed and bashful for that kind of reaction she showed.

"What is the meaning of your first poem for me?" Matilda grinned conspicuously. Seeing her lips curving a bit, she sounded so dissatisfied for some reason, I fear that she didn't like it since my poems usually have the element of fantasy and tragic ending.

I tend to convey my poetry in something magical to hide its meaning, in order for the one who my pieces can have their own interpretation rather than locking up their mind from a predefined value, they can see their own meaning by intaking the value somewhat instead of understanding its purpose.

Before she can learn its message, she should take the words in her heart, each verse and stanza doesn't hide anything once she opens her mind to perceive the poem's meaning in her own way. It's kinda hard for her to visualize its meaning but I believe she can see what I cannot, after all, it was her experience upon reading it, not mine.

"The poem was for you," I honestly replied, I was absolutely flustered realizing I wrote a poem for her, the Student Council President revered in SLU, there was no greater honor than becoming her audience.

"For me...?" She kept her notes to her chest and remained confused.

"It was for you. Now keep guessing, I know you can do it." I've always seen her smart side that always goes for recitation, I didn't know she's having a hard time reading between the lines, maybe it was also the reason why she can't seem to learn that her love is delusional.

"The meaning behind this... There was a man who only wanted to achieve his dream, which was not fulfilled for some reason?" Her view was quite on the line, yet she's taking it way too seriously.

"That's a pragmatic conclusion you came up there. Loosen up your idea a little more." I want to see what's in her heart, I made my poem for the purpose of performing a reverse-psychology into tricking her that she should know herself better than she should have.

If she was depressed, Matilda may think that it is a relief. If she's joyful, she would take it as a sign of melancholy, it solely depends on what she imagines it to be, as long as she follows what's in her mind and soul, for sure, the heart would take shape and change for the better.

It should take a long way for her to fathom its meaning, but it's the only key for me to learn everything about her. I would take such opportunities to my advantage. And since I'm her boyfriend; I can also have the same authority to control our connection into a healthy relationship.

"Tell me, Reyler." She's pouting and begging for the answer.

"No. Find out, and you call yourself an honor student?" I won't pamper just because I agreed to be her lover.

"Hmph! Reyler, you meanie." Matilda's grumpily sulking in a corner, elegant no matter what she does.

She lay down on the sofa beside me repeating the interpretation process over and over until her head touches the floor reading the poem upside-down from pushing herself at the edge of the couch. She just couldn't figure out no matter what kind of method she uses to focus on the written piece.

"Come one, please tell me Reyler! I swear I won't forcefully dominate you today if you said its meaning." Matilda was so desperate she slipped her tongue from telling what she shouldn't.

"So you had already planned on assaulting me today?!" I flinched upon hearing her scheme. I should get out of here while I'm alive. If she did not ask me to write a poem for her, maybe she could've partaken my virginity.

"Ehem... I mean no? Please forget what I said." And she even has the guts to act like she never initially planned it from the beginning, there's no way she'd fool me again with her whimsical antics.

"How could I forget that?!" I panicked my legs were shaking unsteadily for a second.

It's a matter of time before she realizes that her opinion was the answer to the poem all along, and once she gets over the piece I wrote for her, the thirsty vampire within her will awaken and she will get down to the business as to why she trapped me here inside her abode.

While she was immersed in thinking, I took the chance to slowly move closer beside her. So when she was about to lean onto my shoulder, I took the notebook away from her and decided to simply tell her before she goes on a tantrum.

I was thinking that not explaining the poem was also risky considering there might be a chance she'd get impatient and that might trigger her wild button. The highest priority right now is to leave her house with my virginity in tow so taking countermeasures should be initialized.

"Wait, give it back." Matilda tried to get it from me but I wouldn't let her take it.

"Time's up, I'd explain now," I told her and she doesn't seem to disagree.

"Really?" She tilted her head and thought I was joking around.

"For real," I replied with a nod.

"Alright! Hehe." For a second there, she giggled closing her eyes and for a moment, I almost believed she was wonderful than an angel.

She sat closer and seized my forearm for a hand-holding, causing me to feel somewhat hotter than usual, my face's burning-red; I almost forgot that a boy and girl in a relationship do such intimate things so I calmed myself and heightened my senses.

Now she was purposely pushing the back of my hand on her bosom as her way of flirting, I never thought she can be this aggressive when no one's looking around, merely underestimating Matilda wasn't the wisest choice indeed.

I was sweating more than the seven seas, I move my finger through the rough paper as I describe the poem I have wrote for her.