Ghosts of Honor

Chapter 1-2

In lieu of poetry or bible verses, we’d chosen to include a memory from Jefferson and Daniel’s love story, a quote or a description of a special moment from their journey. The tributes were special to us, and yet another effort to spark something in Micha and Tate. Two total strangers a few months earlier were now a major part of our ceremony. One wanted nothing to do with us, at first, and the other couldn’t even be found. Now, luckily for us, here they were, maybe not believers but definitely willing participants.

Goose’s bro-ham, Rip, went next. Still cradling Wilbur, he stood. “Love is patience. I have grown to adore him more and more with each passing day, each passing hour, Jefferson said of Daniel, then known as Calvin. No words were needed between us to know something was building, something like love. He whispers we shall kiss someday.” Rip, with love in his eyes, looked to his adoring wife nearly the whole time he spoke. “I’m impatient and ask why not now? ‘Soon,’ is what he tells me. ‘Soon.’

“I can relate to this.” Resituating Wilbur, Rip was able to blow Shelby a kiss, one she caught and brought to her lips. “It took me a while to convince the love of my life we could make this marriage thing work. I fell in love with her brother first. Actually, first, I doubled over in pain because of him.”

“I hit him in the nards with a hockey stick in seventh grade,” Goose explained.

“TMI, Bro-ford. We could have left that out.”

The gathered crowd tittered with amusement.

“I, uh, never had a brother of my own, and consider that incident one of the luckiest things to ever have happen to me.” Rip shrugged. “I consider you coming into my life that, Duck, Duck, Goose. Then, this guy joined you. I love seeing how happy Patrick’s made you. For a while, we wondered if you ever could be happy. All I wanted was for you to know how great it feels to love and be with just the right person. Now, you do. Now, I have two brothers, my bro-ford and my…bro-ski.”

“Aww.” That choked me up.

“Be my bro-ski, Patrick?”

“I’d be honored,” I said.

“I wish you two all the happiness I’ve been fortunate enough to have with my wife, with Carrie, and with the two of you. Preparing for our new little one, Goose, that’s been pretty amazing, too. Thanks for giving us the heads up on that from the great beyond. When the baby arrives, Bro-ford, it will be a blessing for you, too. Guess why.”

“Many reasons,” Goose said. “But I assume you have something specific in mind.”

“Indeed, I do. With a baby in the mix, you, my current Little One, finally won’t be the shortest person in the family.”

“Hey! Shell is shorter than I am.”

“Not in heels,” she told her brother.

As we laughed, Wilbur barked.

“Woof, woof, woof.”

Rip held him out for kisses. “Wilbur says he wants his turn, now, in case you didn’t get that. It was important for him to let you know he’s glad you’ll be his daddies all legal and official, now, instead of just living in sin.”

“It means the world to us to hear him say that.” Goose rubbed Wilbur’s ears.

“Yes. Thank you, Wilbur.” I offered a pat on his head.

“You, too, Bro-ham.” Up on tiptoes, Goose did the same to Rip, who raised and shook his foot to show pleasure in response.

When it was my mother’s turn, she said, “Another son…Our family keeps growing, and I couldn’t be more pleased.” She kissed little Toto’s head, so she wouldn’t be jealous of Wilbur’s attention, perhaps. “You brought such life to my Paddy, Goose.” Mom stopped, when her voice quivered. “Literally and figuratively. All a mother wants is for her children to thrive and be loved. I got my wish, Paddy. I got my wish. Love is a promise. Jefferson and Daniel made promises, like Paddy and Goose.” My mother donned her reading glasses. “The writing is so small.” She found the perfect distance from which to read the card we’d prepared for her, playing it up for her snickering audience. “‘Marry me, Calvin Goodacre,’ Jefferson said. ‘I cannot imagine anything more perfect in this world than you beside me forever.’

“Calvin took a knee as well. ‘I promised you eternity,’ he said, ‘and I meant it, Jefferson. I’d be honored, and lucky, and happy to be your betrothed, even as I’m not sure it’s possible.’

“‘Anything is possible if we’re together,’ Jefferson promised.

“‘You make me believe that. I would also be lucky if you would make the same promise to me. Yes, at out tree, as soon as the leaves come.’

“‘I will, Calvin. I will,’” Mom read with heart, before concluding her speech with, “Love is a promise.”

It took Shelby a moment to get to her feet. She milked it for comedy, too, groaning as she thrust her round belly forward. Swiping at her forehead when up, adding a hearty, “Phew!” she even fanned herself. “Love is forever.” Then, she’d gotten serious. “Daniel said the following as part of his wedding vows to Jefferson: ‘Every day after that first was luckier and luckier, more and more wonderful, as infatuation became admiration, and then adoration, and then a promise of forever. All memories and days shall be happy from this one going forth, no matter my name or my place, if Jefferson Eaves is a part of them.’ Calvin, later revealed to be Daniel,” Shelby read, “picked up one of the rings from the pillow, took Jefferson’s hand, slipped the ring onto his finger, and said, ‘A simple band, a circle never ending and unbroken. Forever, Jefferson. Only one more word is needed to convince me I can truly call myself the luckiest man in any state of being, that word be a forever from you.’

“‘With this ring,’ Jefferson took the other and put it on Calvin, ‘you have the word, my love, and my promise. Forever.’

Shelby went on in her own words. “My brother…my rock.”

“I was never that,” Goose claimed.

“The fact you don’t even know is what makes you you. We leaned on each other. You were there for me so many times. I see a stronger, more confident you with Patrick, and it makes me so happy. That Max, that Goose, was always there, but the love Patrick shows you helped bring it out more. Your laugh, your smile, your jokes that make the rest of us laugh…Say something funny.”

“Geeze. No pressure.”

Thankfully, people laughed at that. I did, and then I kissed Goose’s hand.

“Like Rich said, you two together make me happy. You make each other smile, and that’s contagious. I wish you a thousand years together, a million, eternity, and from what you’ve both said and been through, I believe that’s possible. I believe it’s exactly what’s going to happen. Our family was small, Patrick, and now, with you a part of it, everything is bigger and better. I love you, Patrick.”

Just for a moment, I stepped away from my groom, in order to give her a hug. “I love you right back, Shelby.”

“And you, Goose, my brother, my friend, my little one’s uncle, my rock. Love is forever.”

I reached out when Mae’s steadiness seemed to falter. “Are you okay?”

“Just a bit overtaken.” She stood straighter and strong, her hand in mine. “Love is love,” Mae said, “and also forgiveness. It’s healing, and sometimes struggle. Goose and Patrick asked me to read the following narrative, in which Goose describes an event from a trip he and Patrick once took. ‘I don’t want Jefferson hurt,’ Thomas claimed. ‘No more so than has already been done. He’s a good man, a kind man, a strong man, the sort I can’t imagine God not shining all glory upon.’

“Thomas’s words were surprising to me. Goose wrote those in his own,” Mae conveyed. “Then, he added these from Thomas’s voice. ‘If Jefferson has found someone to love, someone who loves him back, isn’t that to be celebrated, like we would any other couple in a church, with flowers, prayer, and song?’ When Thomas reached out, Goose tells us, Calvin grabbed him by the wrist. ‘My words are honest.’ With nothing but gentility, Thomas freed himself to place Calvin’s hand in Jefferson’s. ‘I was an ignorant man years ago, when you came to me, Jefferson. My brothers are ignorant now, perhaps unlovable by anyone, male or female, maybe even themselves, maybe the lord. I hope not, for their souls, even as they drown them in liquor and hatefulness.’

“Thomas was an eloquent speaker, Goose notes in his retelling, sharing this lesson with us all. Though the grudge I held against him didn’t vanish in an instant, I could see he had grown, which made me ready to at least think about forgiveness.

“Love is healing,” Mae concluded. “Love is hope. Love is forgiveness. Thomas Crane, once lost, discovered love is love, and that makes us believe love also wins. It spreads and is always the reward of hope. If we continue to show love in the face of adversity, in defense of hate, the hope is those who are hurt, who hurt others, can somehow, sometime, somewhere heal enough to recognize this themselves. Only once that occurs, can they overcome the fear that keeps them from knowing and expressing love.”

The words pertained not just to Jefferson’s Thomas, and everyone seated and standing around us knew.

“What a wonderful world ours could be if every action is first and lastly an expression of love.” Mae took a breath. Her pronouncement complete, she smiled. “Now, for the vows. Please, everyone join hands, to encircle the grooms with energy and support.”

All around us, hands were clasped, just behind us as well, where my mother, Carrie, Shelby, and Rip formed a line. I took one of Goose’s and one of Mae’s. Goose did the same, with Mae’s free hand and mine.

“Goose, repeat after me,” she said. “I, Goose, take you, Patrick, to be my husband.”

“I, Goose, take you, Patrick.” His voice broke, and that made my happy heart skip. “To be my husband.”

“To have and to hold.”

“To have and to hold.”

“For better or worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, to love and to cherish all the days of our lives.”

“For better or worse, for richer and poorer.” Goose paused, knowing we would be that for a while. “In sickness and in health.” Those words came with deep meaning as well, considering the continuing physical and mental recovery that still lay ahead. “From this day forward, to love and to cherish all the days of our lives.”

We’d chosen the rather traditional vows to honor the fact same s*x couples could finally legally wed everywhere in our country. Just like Thomas Crane had envisioned, with the same affections, we were now entitled to the same ceremony, the same rings, and the same rights.

“Patrick…” Mae turned to me. “I, Patrick, take you, Goose.”

“I, Patrick, take you, Love Camel.” The whispered inside joke before I said his name made him smile. “Take you, Goose…”

“To be my husband.”

“To be my husband.”

“For better or worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, to love and to cherish all the days of our lives.”

“For better or worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, to love and to cherish all the days of our lives…Plus whatever comes after.”

“Yes,” Goose said. “I should have added that, too.”

“And, so you did.” Mae smiled again. “The rings.”

Goose’s nephew was our ring bearer—nephew or niece. Sure, the little guy or gal hadn’t been born yet, but what did that matter? The baby and Shelby were taking their duty quite seriously, keeping the secret as to what sort of special, possibly odd item and or material Goose and I had chosen as wedding bands for one another. We had a thing for unconventional rings. Goose’s engagement ring from me was a twist of multicolored paperclips to represent the colors of all four seasons, our past, present, and future, through all four again and again. Mine, from him, was a vinyl strip from a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pool toy. The tattered piece of plastic featured the letters G from teenage and P from power, which were also, serendipitously, our initials. The cartoon foursome was meaningful, now, since I’d dressed up as Leonardo the night my love camel and I had first love f****d, while a winter storm buried the town in snow. That and the origins of the nickname and terminology for s*x was a whole other tale.

Mae took Shelby’s hands in hers. “Please bless these rings, Heavenly beings, to bring Goose and Patrick joy as their bond only grows through all eternity.”

A clap of thunder not far off urged us to hurry a bit.

“Amen,” Mae added in haste.

“Amen!” Our echo came just as quickly.

All smiles, Shelby studied each wedding band a moment, and then passed the wrong ones anyway, forcing Goose and me to exchange rings in order to exchange rings.