Blue Moon Luna

Chapter 8

Friday 6th June

BLUE POV

I was so confused. What just happened? What did I do wrong?

I looked down at my bare legs and the mess he had left on my thighs. Didn’t that show that he was satisfied? I’m new to all this, so perhaps I did it wrong.

But to reject me? Really? Couldn’t he just teach me? Give me a chance to prove my worthiness and eagerness to him.

We were fated. Rejection would destroy us both. Coming back from something like that can take a lifetime in some cases. I never asked for this. I never really wanted a mate, let alone an alpha! Two alphas, in fact.

Maybe the other one would just reject me without seeing me? Cole would tell him what a disappointment I was, they’d have a good laugh about me, then they would reject me and I could spend the rest of my life feeling as empty as I always have.

The thought of being rejected by Cole made me feel physically sick. I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom.

Why was I pining over someone who was so cruel to me? This man had practically forced me into his car, groped me, throttled me, and told me I was a possession to be owned and controlled. He had led me on, and got my hopes up. He made me feel like I needed him, wanted him, and couldn’t breathe without him. He made me vulnerable and trusting before throwing me away and locking me in a room.

Rejection. I curled up in a ball on the floor, in front of the toilet, and proceeded to throw up violently at the thought of spending eternity alone.

COLES POV

I walked down the hallway to the study. I opened a bottle of malt whiskey, poured a glass, and downed it in one. I’d need a lot more than that to irradiate the dull ache I was fighting in the pit of my stomach. It was her. She was in pain, and so too was I. This was the mate bond, a strong mate bond. Some mates could read each others thoughts, some felt each others pain, some knew if there was trouble, and some have even been rumoured to be able to see through their mates' eyes at will.

I felt physically sick.

If this is what it feels like to upset my fated mate, then what will it feel like when I reject her and banish her from my life forever? To stow upon myself the curse of never being able to breath in her sweet scent, stare into her blue eyes, or even once feel her soft lips upon mine. I couldn’t kiss her. It was too personal, too close. s*x could be s*x, but kissing was intimate and I had struggled to control myself enough as it was, that would have been even tougher for me to walk away from.

I poured another drink and zoned out.

I hoped that she would find a second chance mate, and one day could live a happy life, and wipe the thought of me, and how I have had to behave, from her memory.

Fate can be cruel. Why did it pair someone so sweet and kind with someone like me? She didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve how I acted. But I have my reasons, and it would be better for her in the long run if she only thought of me as a cruel monster. Maybe that way, she could move on quicker.

My daydream was interrupted.

‘Brother, where are you? What have you done’? Came a voice in my head.

Crew was mind linking me.

‘I’m in the study. Come straight here. We need to talk.’

This was going to be hard to explain.

CREW POV

I was doing perimeter checks with a couple of our warrior wolves. Nothing too drastic, but we had intel of an increasing number of rogues gathering in neighbouring pack lands, and were being cautious. I had been feeling strange for most of the day and couldn’t really explain it. One minute I’d snap at my warriors, frustrated. The next minute I’d be laughing and joking and feeling elated. We were about 200 miles from the packhouse when I suddenly went from feeling overly content to drastically sick in seconds. I had a shooting pain in my stomach, I felt dizzy and had an overbearing sense that I needed to get home. I told the pack warriors to continue with the patrol. I shifted into my wolf form and sprinted home. The pain never wavered, it just got worse.

I arrived back home to find my brother's car parked outside. He usually carried spare clothes in the back. I shifted back to my human form with no clothing. I opened the door to see what he had, and I was floored by the smell that hit me.

Jasmine and Heather.

I pulled on a t-shirt and some grey joggers, and inhaled deeply. That’s when I noticed it, a small puddle of wetness on the driver's seat. My wolf growled. Brother, what the hell have you done?

I mind linked him and he told me to meet him in the study. I was there within seconds.

I can smell her so strongly now. She is so close. The scent of her arousal was sweet and made my wolf salivate.

Cole was standing there looking sheepish, half way through a bottle of whisky. “Sit down” he barked at me. “I’ve been a fu**ing di*k head” he said.

I reluctantly sat, though every fibre of my being wanted my mate. I wanted to see what she looked like. Then I realised what the pain was. It was her, she was hurting, she was suffering. This angered me. I wanted to know what was wrong with her.

“What the fu*k have you done with her”? I bellowed.

Cole sat and put his face in his hands. He told me about going to school to collect Cara, the crying girl and the crippling inability to drive away.

I couldn’t blame him. The bond was so strong. I hadn’t even seen her, and every fibre of me would die for her already. The thought of seeing her crying and walking away was impossible to comprehend.

He continued to explain how he tried to keep her at arms length, but was weak and had given in to his better judgment in the car, before he literally threw her out. She must be so confused, I thought. I was jealous that my brother had felt her wetness in his lap and slipped his hand up our mate's skirt. He must have sensed my frustration as he looked me straight in the eyes and said,

“It gets a whole lot worse.”

He told me everything. Right down to when he took advantage of her innocent and trusting nature, got his own sick s****l gratification, before he broke her fuc*ing heart and walked out of the room. No wonder she felt sick. No wonder I was feeling sick.

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FU*K BRO?” I roared. “We had a plan, we said we weren’t going to get close. What the hell were you thinking?” I continued, now pacing the room in a fit of rage and jealousy.

“You don’t understand” he replied. “The mate bond is stronger than anything anyone ever told us. We were not prepared for this. We were not prepared for her.”

“I tried to be nasty, I tried to make her uncomfortable, I tried to make her feel intimidated so it would be easier on her when we refused her. But it just wasn’t working,” he cried.

“The only thing that worked was when I said we would refuse her as our mate, but that was after the bedroom incident. Needless to say, she will definitely hate me now, so that should make things easier for her to move on.” He tried to justify his negligent actions, but it was falling on deaf ears. I didn’t care for what he had to say. He had messed up. He had hurt our fated mate more than was necessary. There was no excuse. We had a plan and he just ruined it.

“I want to see her,” I said. “No, it will make things worse, you don’t understand. We just need to go and reject her and move on,” he replied.

“I wasn’t asking for permission,” I snarled, and left the room, heading to my brother's chambers.