Room Service Girl

The Fly and the Spider

I was nearing the end of my first week as a professional Escort and I was loving every second of it. Most of the men I had seen blended into one another. Most of them were unremarkable, completely average. Average c***s, average bodies, average kissers, average lovers, middle aged, Caucasian, married, divorced, widowed. All of them wanted to feel like they were wanted. The psychology behind escorting is fascinating! They talked about their work, their non-existant s*x life (Though I couldn't help but wonder if they tried putting effort into wining and dining their wives), their hobbies. The reviews were in and I was a smash hit! The men raved about my maturity, my ability to make them feel at ease, the atmosphere of the room and they loved the hot towel at the end (pro tip: men love a hot damp towel applied to their c**k post-climax. I don't question it, I just accept this as fact). I was a GFE (more on that later). I had made more money in a week than I had made in 4 months of working my normal job. I had also been gifted expensive sound systems, a laptop, cash, champagne, jewelry, gift cards and lingerie.

I was just about to order in room service when I heard the familiar beeps on my phone. It was Ruby, letting me know she'd be coming by to collect her share and oh! Would I care to join her for dinner? There was a client who was asking to see me, but she would prefer to talk about him in person. Of course I jumped at the offer. I genuinely adored Ruby and spending time with her usually resulted in belly laughs and hugs.

We arrived at a hole in the wall Cuban restaurant which she proudly stated was the best in state. We got settled and I gave her the envelope containing her profit.

"So there's a client who wants to book you. He's a regular of the agency. He wants to book you for 4 hours. The only thing is that he is a bit...odd. Harmless but strange. He has a very specific fantasy. It involves a script and costumes and, though he is booking you for four hours, he will only stay for one. He also tips very generously in addition to the fee. Are you interested in hearing more?"

"I am", I said.

"Ok, so here's the thing. This situation will need to involve a second girl. I suggested Jennifer since you two get along so well and have a similar effect on men. You won't be engaging sexually with her or with him. His fantasy is that he is a fly and you two are spiders. He is caught in a spiders web and he wants you two to fight over who gets to suck his blood. Fight is too strong of a word...argue. He wants you to argue over sucking his blood. You don't have to touch him or her. There will be costumes though. You will be dressed as a spider and so will Jennifer. He will be changing into a fly costume as well. Are you interested or no?"

To recap, I would get paid for four hours plus tipped for one hour's work, I would get to hang out with my friend, Jennifer, for an hour AND I wouldn't have to do anything s****l? "Absolutely yes", I said.

The next morning, I received a 25 page script via email from Ruby. She also dropped off my spider costume. Reader, when I tell you this was a really cheesy costume, I want you to imagine a dollar store spider costume and a headband that had ping pong balls cut in half and eyes painted on. I don't know if a spider could be made to be sexy (what with the 6 additional arms sticking out from your side and all) but this was not it. The script was making me laugh just reading it. The gist of it being that this man would come into my room at our agreed upon time. He requested the room to be pitch black minus 13 candles. The candles were to be placed around the bed and nightstand. He expected me to be in my costume and to not say a word to him when he arrived. He would slip into the bathroom and change. The argument Jennifer and I were to have was basically a Pee Wee Herman style dialogue (does anyone remember "I know you are but what am I?")

As the time was nearing, Jennifer and I had put away an entire bottle of champagne between us. Everytime we looked at eachother, we burst out laughing. How could we do this in a convincing manner without making him feel embarrassed? We were two young girls, barely old enough to drink, and we were wearing horribly tacky spider costumes.

The phone beeped, it was Ruby letting us know he was on his way up and to please leave the door cracked open for him. An unassuming, slightly pudgy and balding man with glasses slipped in the door carrying a suitcase. He didn't acknowledge either one of us and left the money on the dresser before going straight into the bathroom to change. Reader, this man absolutely came out in a homemade fly costume. He glanced towards us and then he "bzzzzz"'d us before he started flapping his arms and circling the bed.

It's one thing to read a script, to be told by our boss and to picture this scenario in your head. It is absolutely another thing to witness a grown man flapping his arms, buzzing, pausing to crouch down and rest and then jump up, buzzing and flapping his arms until he landed on the spider's web....the bed. He threw himself onto the bed and then he rolled back and forth making distressed buzzing sounds. This was to be our cue. Let's just take a moment, though, to appreciate this man and his commitment to the role. At this moment, Jennifer and I made eye contact and we drunkenly, silently had a conversation in which we agreed to give this man the best damn performance he had ever seen.

We spoke in high tinny voices. We pulled one another back from the mattress if one got close. We complained how hungry we were and how it had been so long since we had a fat juicy fly. We wiggled our arms, we crawled on the floor. We crouched on chairs. We were absolutely committed to the role.

At exactly an hour, he got up without a word, went into the bathroom, changed into his normal clothes, left a sizable amount of cash on the bathroom sink and slipped out the door. He tipped us $2,000 each! We were flabbergasted. We radioed Ruby to let her know he had left and then we flopped onto the bed, spider costumes and all, ordered room service, and fell asleep holding eachother. What a crazy world this was!