Room Service Girl

My Return Home

I boarded the plane, ready to head home and felt sad. I felt sad to leave this world behind. I had already confirmed my next trip, but I didn't want to return to my shitty husband and my shitty life. I wanted to stay in this world where men paid me and gave me gifts, where men focused on my pleasure, where I felt desirable and more feminine than I had felt before.

My heart and face dropped when I saw my spouse. There he was, wearing his ratty clothing, his hair a disheveled mess. He gave me a half hug and reeked of body odor and weed. When my luggage came through the carousel, I paused to see if he would grab it, knowing full well that he wouldn't. He didn't. I waited for it to come around the 2nd time before taking it off myself and put it into the trunk of the car.

The drive home was filled with him talking about the instruments he had purchased with the money that I had made. These instruments would mean he could definitely make it big now!! He had booked an unpaid gig at a friend's birthday party! He hoped I wouldn't mind, but he had band practice tonight...can he drop me off at home and then I order delivery because he hadn't had time to go to the grocery store.

Reader, let's pause here to give you some more background into this relationship. As I had already mentioned, I was his second marriage and he was much older than I. We had met online, on a website which had a forum for it's users to interact as well as photos and ratings. He was in another state than I at the time and he was this Tim Burton-esque man. He wore eyeliner, nail polish and all of his photos were of him gazing hopefully to the side. He portrayed himself as a romantic. He made the move on me first, starting a thread on the main forum page with my username and praising my looks. I was hooked.

I made the trip to see him first and subsequently lost my virginity. He had a hairy pubic area, not trimmed or shaven at all. He had a slightly smaller than average c**k, no muscles to speak of, huge eyes and a thing for young girls. He would complain about how horrible his ex-wife was. How she would deny him s*x all the time and how she would fake having a diabetic spell when he would confront her. He was a hopeless romantic who had married a calloused woman and then he met me and knew I was the answer to everything wrong with his life.

I found out he was actually married married (yes, the double married. Meaning they lived together, were not in the process of separating and were by no means divorced) about 9 months into our relationship. Living in different states proved very beneficial for him and his lies. We were chatting online via Yahoo Messenger when he suddenly stopped responding which was unusual. About twenty minutes later, he let me know that Lydia had found out about me and had punched him in the face. He had told me that their divorce was recent and that things were still incredibly raw for her, so my immediate reaction was one of concern.

"You weren't joking when you said your ex-wife still had feelings for you! I'm sorry you got hit. Are you ok?"

"Well, technically we aren't divorced yet", he admitted.

"Wait, what? Are you separated?"

"Technically we aren't separated either."

Oh. My. God. I had been sleeping with and fallen for a married man. I didn't know how to react. I froze.

"I should have told you, but it all happened so fast and when I saw you I knew you were the woman from my dreams I've had since I was a little boy!" he explained. "I was on the website and what I told you about the marriage is true. She doesn't have s*x with me. I saw you and then we started talking and then you came here and I fell for you so hard. I love you. Please don't leave me"

I was only 19 at the time. He was in his 30's. He was my first serious relationship. I had lost my virginity to him. HE LIED TO ME, HE WAS MARRIED...but he loved me. He is unhappy. We are soulmates.

I stayed.

I stayed and then I moved to his state to be with him while his divorce went through. Pitiful. It gets worse. This man, a week after I moved to be with him, literally had s*x with another woman in our home at his Halloween party.

I stayed.

3 months later, we were traveling to visit a relative of mine over Valentines Day. We got to her home and she showed us to the guest room. "Where am I going to sleep?" he asked me.

"With me? In this bed?" I responded, feeling very confused.

"I'm not comfortable with that. I'll sleep on the floor" he said.

We shared a bed at home and this had never come up before so I had no idea where this was coming from. I was soon to find out though that he had been sleeping with and in fact entered a relationship with a younger woman that he had met on Hot or Not. I was now 20. She was 18. I stalked her photos. She, like me, had small breasts and more of a boyish figure. She was blonde and wore lots of vinyl in her photos. I felt devastated. Where was I to go?

We broke up and got together multiple times after this. Stupid, naive, young me was convinced we were soul mates and that this is what a soulmate relationship would look like. He'd write me love letters that would put poets to shame and then just as quickly fall for someone else.

We got married and on our wedding night he left after I fell asleep to have s*x with another woman from Hot or Not. I know because he left his messenger open. I felt nothing. Just nothing. I had started planning my exit strategy. Then this opportunity came along.

All this to say, neither of us were saints here. I know I was in the wrong for sleeping with men and not telling him. I not only not told him, but I assured him it was platonic. I didn't feel the slightest bit guilty. To this day, I don't regret it.

I stood in our home, surveying the empty fridge. I called for pizza delivery and looked at what my husband bought with my money. A new drum set, a musical saw and a bunch of weed.

The house was filthy. I cleaned all the rooms and thought about how much I didn't want to be here.

He came home around 3 a.m. He smelled of sweat and body odor. His hair was so greasy it was sticking up as though he had applied product. He got into our bed and started thrusting against my leg.

I rolled my eyes in the dark and didn't move. He started moaning and I knew what his face looked like even in the dark. I felt sick to my stomach. Then he started thrusting harder because he thought I was sleeping and he wanted to get off.

He shoved his hand up my shirt and pinched my n*****s hard. I pushed his hands away and then he rolled on top of me. He was erect and his c**k throbbed against my inner thigh. He whimpered.

I lay there motionless as he shoved my panties to the side and slathered his c**k with his spit before shoving it in, whimpering and thrusting over and over. He came inside of me and made the sound of a wounded animal. I could not have been more turned off.

"I'll get you next time" he said

I rolled over and stared at the wall, listening to his breath even out and then eventually to him snoring.

My next trip could not come soon enough.