Moon's shadow

Unspoken Truths

The conversation between Lumina and her father left her numb and disturbed. The truth Elias revealed to her was one she was not prepared to receive. She stood at the edge of their space contemplating what her next move was going to be. She watched the fresh mounds of earth that symbolized the newly buried pack members. A lingering thought of Carden constantly ached her heart. She wondered how he was doing. It scarred her to think that, because of her, Carden would have been in one of the graves.

It seemed like everywhere she turned she was met with harsh reminders of her unwise decisions. And it was all because she trusted the wrong person. Rhea's betrayal was still fresh in her mind, the reason why she did what she did pressed down on her heart heavily. She blamed herself, her mother and her father.

She sighed deeply, realizing she could not bring back the dead pack members, she did not have the power to turn back time and set the records straight. All she could do was control how the next few moments would take place. She pushed herself, taking one step after another, headed towards Carden's cabin. He was the one man who had stood by her in times of good and bad. He saw right through Rhea. She hugged herself tight, twigs and sticks softly crunching beneath her steps.

She saw him sitting by himself, around a fire that was not well tended to. It was dying. She stood still for seconds contemplating what she was going to tell him. He had a long look on his face, his entire mind was far, far away. She approached him slowly, whether he was still in his reverie or if he had noticed his presence she was not aware, for his complexion did not change. She rounded the broken branch and stood right in front of him, blocking his view. Her heart fluttered and anxiety filled her whole being.

“Hey.” She greeted him softly.

She was met by heavy silence.

“How are you feeling?” She inquired genuinely. Carden only kept quiet. His features were stern and focused ahead.

“Carden, I owe you an apology. You were right, and I'm sorry it took me this long to find out. I'm sorry I put you and the team in danger. Please forgive me.” Carden did not respond to her, he only sighed deeply and kept silent, not saying anything.

Lumina shifted hesitantly, her face covered with disbelief. “Alright.” She sighed. “I get it. I have wronged you, and you need time to think about it. I won't bother you anymore. I'm really sorry Carden, hope you can forgive me, because I miss you. I miss us.”

Lumina's shoulders dropped, and she turned around and started walking away. Questions ran through her mind, her heart raced and sank so low, with rejection and heart brokenness. She knew she had taken advantage of Carden's loyalty and love for so long. Carden had finally gotten tired of her and she did not blame him. He had every right to feel the way he was feeling.

With each step she slowly took, tears streamed down her cheeks. Her full cascading hair was swept gently in the soft breeze.

Suddenly, something physically weighed on her. Someone held her slender wrist from behind, she froze, stood as still as a rock. It was Carden. Seconds seemed to quickly grow into minutes. She turned around to face Carden, an inquisitive expression on her face. Carden did not give her a chance to say another word. He took her into his arms and hugged her, stroking her hair softly. “Don't say anymore.” He urged her softly.

Lumina shut her eyes slowly and breathed in his pinewood scent. His breath tingling on her cheeks, his short stubble rough against her soft cheeks. On the battlefield, she thought of it, but she missed it. It was the only feeling that kept her going, that kept her alive. She had bravely offered to die with him, all for this moment, to be in his arms again. “I love you. Very much so, I cannot stay angry at you even if I wanted to.” His voice was slow and full of conviction.

Lumina's heart beat rapidly, as she felt her knees weaken and her legs melt. She did not want to speak in fear of suddenly ruining the special moment. She leaned further in Carden's embrace, arching her neck, allowing him to smell her hair all the way down to her neckline. She tried to speak, but nothing would come out. She cleared her voice, her tone was remorseful, and her voice was broken. “I'm sorry…you..almost died all because of me…you..”

“Shh..” Carden stroked her hair. “Nothing happened, I'm here. Alive, by your side, and it's all because of you. I will never leave your side, not for anything in the world.” The silence between them was deep, heavy but strangely reassuring. Their shattered connection was slowly winding back together, not like it was originally, patches plastered together but with love and tenderness, allowing them to appreciate what they had even more than before. “I love you Carden. With everything I have, I need you right by my side, because without you, things feel more difficult. I can't do it alone.”

As she spoke, her chest rose and fell softly. Her consciousness came alive to their closeness, standing breath to breath, feelings surged through her body, and she felt alive and vibrant. They burned on her waist, where Carden's hands rested, And when he pressed his hands on her waist, pulling her even close to him, she was breathless, she felt light, and her eyes shone brightly as she looked at his darkened expression. “You don't have to do anything alone. I'm right here.” Carden's eyes half closed, appreciating every second of the moment, and when he opened his eyes again, they traveled slowly down to her lips, tracing every movement Lumina made with his eyes. Lumina's throat ran dry, aware of Carden's eyes on her lips, unable to maintain eye contact, she half closed her eyes, surrendering to whatever fate would take place. Her hands trailed his body softly, finding their own way to his chest and resting there, feeling him take a breath in and out.

It seemed like forever. It seemed like there were only two people in the whole forest, nothing else mattered, and nothing else meant anything. Not the betrayal, the guilt, the pain, the anger and confusion all faded away until there was only one thing for Lumina and that was love. Hope, in the form of Carden. She realized that Carden would never leave her side, even when the whole world came crashing down, he would always stay beside her.

He was one thing that belonged only to him. To Carden, Lumina was everything he wanted in his life. He couldn't ask for more. She was his whole future. They loved with a love so deep, it was consuming.