Moon's shadow

Weight of the heart

Lumina's cabin was silent, its interior was cool and a bit chilly despite the rising sun at midmorning. Golden rays filtered through the window and filled the room, specks of dust rose slowly in the air reflected in the morning light, dazzling like little specks of gold. A low fire burned in the hearth and small dry twigs crackled softly as the fire settled. Lumina was perched uncomfortably on her bed. She was draped in her robe. Her abdomen was wrapped in a bandage, she delicately turned on her bed looking for a comfortable position. Two days had passed since her fight with Eliam.

Three soft knocks disrupted the eerie silence.

“Pup, are you in there? I'd like to see you.” She missed that voice. That comfortable, deep and assuring voice filled Lumina's ears. She was happy to hear from her father.

“Daddy. Come in.” She called out eagerly, her voice controlled.

The door groaned as her father pushed it open, his well-defined body appeared in the room. Deep lines ran across his forehead showing how much he had aged, but his eyes still remained focused. He peered at Lumina with concern, his eyes glancing at Lumina's bandaged wound.

“How is that wound healing?” He took long strides and crouched low next to Lumina's bed. He patted Lumina's hair softly, looking at her gently with love and affection.

“It's coming along nicely daddy. Don't you worry about it.” Lumina gave her father a tight smile.

“Pup, I'm worried about you. I would have preferred if you took a few days to heal properly first before leading the pack to war. I don't want you to get hurt more than you already are.” Her father suggested, his eyes watching Lumina's bruises with alot of concern.

“I don't have a choice, dad. I'm the Alpha of the pack. I recently just established that. I cannot let the pack go ahead without me. We have to do it soon too. Alpha Kieran is planning to attack us on the next full moon.” Lumina replied seriously, holding his piercing gaze.

Her father's heart swelled with pride. He witnessed the certainty and the resolve in Lumina's posture. He knew he had raised his daughter right. Even though his heart ached with pain and concern. He was sure the pack was in the right hands. “Oh. Pup. You've grown so much.” He sighed heavily. He suddenly looked older, his voice was thick with emotions.

“Daddy, I need your blessing,” Lumina urged him gently. “I can only do this knowing you are fully behind me. Don't worry about me.”

“Of course. You've had my blessings ever since you were born. You are my daughter. My only daughter. I fully support you. Remember to be brave, but cautious. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You are enough just as you are. And whenever you need me or anything. I will be here to provide for you, okay?”

“Thank you daddy.” Lumina smiled broadly, pushed herself into a sitting position and hugged her father lovingly. “I love you daddy. More than anything.”

“I love you pup.” Father and daughter held each other dearly in a loving embrace, which could have gone on for a while had it not been interrupted by loud footsteps approaching Lumina's cabin. Soft wraps came at the door. Without waiting for an answer, the door was gently pushed open.

Carden peeped into the room and his eyes landed on father and daughter. “Oh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the sweet moment..” he smiled hesitantly. He felt a little awkward standing there, his hands hanging by his side.

“No, come on in, my boy.” Lumina's father said, invitingly stretching his arms out. “I'm sure this one was expecting your visit. I'll see you later pup.” He added warmly, kissed his daughter's forehead and stepped out of the cabin.

Carden leaned on the wooden wall for seconds, watching Lumina without a word. Lumina did not speak, she watched him intently, then Carden crossed the room slowly and approached Lumina's bed. He told the initial spot of Lumina's father, his voice was laced with emotions as he spoke, and his shoulders were stiff. “I'm so proud of you.” He spoke softly.

“What? You didn't think I could do it?” Lumina joked, hitting his well-defined abs gently.

Carden feigned pain as he looked back at Lumina. “How are you feeling?” He asked in concern.

“I'm okay. By the time we go for Kieran I'll be fully healed.” Lumina assured him strongly.

“You.. Are you planning to lead the pack?” Carden inquired with a little confusion. His brows raised inquiringly.

“Wasn't I going to?” Lumina asked, her voice was filled with confusion.

“Of course you were going to, but I don't think you should anymore. You are injured, and you need time to feel better, you know, rest your body.” Carden said softly.

“Am I getting you right, Carden?” Lumina shot irritatedly.

“Lumina. Have you seen yourself? You are not in the best of shapes. You need to recover. I know you don't want to hear this, but it's the truth. You can't lead the pack now.” Carden reasoned, his voice laced in irritation.

“You may be right. I don't have a choice but to stay outside, as my people go out to fight for me. How can you ask me to do such a thing? I'm the leader for crying out loud.” Lumina struggled to rise to her feet. Shards of sharp pain stabbed at her wounds. She tried hard not to wince in pain, so she closed her eyes shut.

“You think I do not know that. I do, that's exactly why you are pushing yourself so hard. Because you are the leader. You have me to step in for you though. Let me go instead of you.” Any little patience Carden had was wearing off quickly.

“I refuse to use you to fight my battles. What will I do? Be a hypocrite and hide in Greywolf territory as you toil for me?” Lumina fired fiercely. “I will push through as initially planned.”

“Listen to me. Lumina please. Right now you are only thinking of your position as the Alpha, and, the fight you are not thinking of what will happen after the fight. Your pack needs a leader not a warrior, remember?” Carden took Lumina's hands into his and squeezed them gently. He looked at Lumina intently, willing her to agree with him subconsciously.

“Carden. Don't teach me how I should take charge of the pack.” Lumina's voice was low but filled with boiling anger. She stared at Carden determinedly. Her hands were still in Carden's.

The tension in the room rose steadily, nothing was said for quite some time as the two looked at one another.

“Lumina. I love you.” Carden's voice was barely above a whisper. His voice was soft and calm. He took a step forward and lifted Lumina's chin. Lumina's body stiffened, her heart pounded loudly into her chest and her mouth ran dry.

“Card.. Carden.. What are you saying?” She hesitated.

“Yes. My life couldn't go on if something were to happen to you. I've tried to keep it from you, but I can't anymore. I love you with every inch of my body.” Carden moved even closer to Lumina, his eyes never leaving hers.

If there was ever any uncertainty, it was now as clear as crystal to Lumina that Carden had deeper feelings for her. Which he was not afraid to put in the open. Her chest weighed tonnes as the confession sank in. The air was filled with tension. The room was dead silent.

“Carden.” Lumina whispered softly, eyes shimmering..” it's not the right time..” she said, tears stung her eyes.

“There is never the right time..I couldn't take it if something happened to you. The past few days have made me realize the time will never be right. I know you feel something for me too. Don't tell me I'm the only one, right?” Carden's head rested on Lumina's. Lumina's eyes gently closed. She felt something stir in her abdomen, a feeling she didn’t want to acknowledge. It made her heart flutter.

She had felt it, not once or twice. It had been there in the way they looked at one another, the way they touched each other, in the ways they fought side by side. She longed for him. Wanted him to say more, but her responsibilities burdened her. War was coming, there was no time for love.

“Carden, we can't, not now.” She whispered softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “We have this fight ahead of us. We have to focus on it first.”

“Don't you love me?” Carden emphasized. Why do we have to wait one more day? Why?” Carden's eyes half closed, his voice thick with emotion.

“Of course I love you. But if I let myself think about that now, everything will go to hell. I can't think of it..not now Carden please.” Hot heavy tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn't imagine losing him in the battle. She couldn't imagine letting herself care that much for him, she would be distracted in the field. She would not do her work as required.

Unable to control himself. Carden reached out and pulled her into his arms. The touch of their bodies sent an electric charge through their nerves, a comfortable warmth settled in Lumina's abdomen, and her heart pounded in her chest. She lay her head on Carden's defined abs and let herself get soaked in his scent. “It's okay.” Carden's deep voice rumbled in his chest. “Don't worry, I'm here. I won't go anywhere. I'm here. You don't have to be afraid. I won't leave you.”

“Let's talk about this later. After the war, please,” Lumina whispered, her head was buried in Carden's chest.

“Okay. Take all the time you need. All the time you want. I'll be patient,” Carden assured.

Lumina stepped back, wiping away her tears. She watched Cards. His eyes were shining with tears threatening to roll down. His face was full of hope. There was a chance for them after all. After the war, they would be together. As Carden left the cabin, Lumina remained standing turned towards the window. She watched as the forest went on and on before her, shades of green and golden intertwining. She longed for something she didn't quite know, she wanted things she could not put into her mouth. Her life felt insufficient in some way. She needed something she didn't know. She tiptoed softly to the window. Placed her hand feebly on the window pane and ran her finger through the wood that had seen better days. Love.

Love. It was a mystery to her. It was a path she had not walked. But one that made her anxious with anticipation.