Mad Summer Love

Confrontation

Summer thought back to her mother's funeral. She interacted with everyone that came and she would've remembered Maddox there.

“I'm sorry,” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “But I don't think I heard you right. Did you say that you came to my mother's funeral?” Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “A funeral that happened 6 years after you up and left me, without so much as a word? You're effing kidding me, right?” Her tone displayed her anger over the newfound information.

Maddox's mother stood up and looked at her other two children. “Could you two help me in the kitchen, please?”

Neither Francis nor Sophia needed a second invitation and, too quickly to be subtle, retreated to a safe distance.

Maddox crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, for a moment he just looked at Summer, contemplating. If this was fate giving him a second chance with the woman he had loved - still loved - it definitely wasn't making it easy.

“I kept my distance. In the church and at the cemetery. I didn't want to be intrusive...or...cause a scene,” his voice wavered a bit and he ran a hand absently through his hair. “I didn't intend to skulk in the background, but when I saw you I didn't know what to do, so I kept my distance...I tried to help in other ways.”

As Summer listened to his explanation, she grew angrier. She couldn't believe that after what he had done to her, he would just show up and not try to clear the air.

“Why were you there in the first place? After everything that happened, did you think you could just show up and…and I'd forgive you? H...how did you even know my mom had passed away?”

Maddox stood and paced along his side of the table, looking like a caged lion. Finally he stopped and placed his palms on the table and looked at her, his eyes softer than his demeanor.

“You were never far from my mind. I couldn't let you go completely. I would check in from time to time, that is how I knew she had died. I never wanted to leave you.” His voice raised slightly not in anger, more of an impassioned plea. “My heart is yours…,” he shook his head, “was yours. I didn't have a choice.”

He sat back down and pressed his palms to his eyes as though he was trying to push some horrible memory from his mind.

Summer watched this vulnerability come out of Maddox and it made her heart ache even more than it already did, but she still didn't understand. If his heart was hers, then why did he leave?

When she spoke, her voice was calmer. “You have no idea what you did to me. I waited for you to call...for months. I looked for you at graduation. I called your house until finally the number was disconnected. I was terrified that something bad had happened to you.”

Her eyes filled with tears that overflowed onto her cheeks, her voice reflecting her sorrow. “I loved you and you broke my heart. Permanently...I...I...,” she gulped, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. “I...needed you...and you were just...gone.”

Maddox looked at her, there was a glassiness to his eyes. “The night I left, my dad had been shot. It took him three days to die, there was nothing the doctors could do.” He paused and sighed, shaking slightly as he relived the memory. “I learned a lot in those three days why he was the way he was. It didn't excuse the things he did...but I understood.” The pause was longer this time, his composure was failing. “I had to take over the business. If I hadn't, my family would have been at risk. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't come back. You would have wanted to be with me and I would not have been able to say no. You deserved better.”

Summer listened to his story, hearing his own pain reflecting in his voice. She felt terrible for him. She wanted to go to him, wanted to comfort him, but she wasn't sure if she should. She couldn't seem to stop herself though. She stood up and hurried around the table, pulling out the chair next to him and rested her hand on his shoulder as she sat down.

“I'm so sorry that you went through that, Maddox,” she said, soothingly as she rubbed his shoulder gently.

Maddox looked at her, he never thought he'd be this close to her again. Summer's scent made his heart race, it was like time rewound ten years and he was with the woman who had always been able to make him feel free, alive, safe. Her touch shot through him like lightning, but mixed with the exhilaration were pangs of guilt. She had shown him why he had vanished all those years ago. Here she was, angry with him, resentful, with every right, but she couldn't resist going to him.

Taking Summer’s hand, Maddox held it for a moment, then released her. “I don't deserve your sympathy,” he said flatly, all emotion gone from his voice as he dismissed her gesture.

Summer's mouth dropped open in shock, but just as quickly, clamped shut. She stood up and stared him down. “You're right Maddox. You don't deserve my sympathy. I deserve your apology.” She crossed her arms across her chest, under her breasts. “So, go ahead, Maddox, apologize to me. Apologize for all the years you pretended to love me. Apologize for all of the affection you forced yourself to show me. Apologize for telling me you loved me when you didn't. Apologize for not taking my virginity and walking out sooner. Go ahead. I'm waiting.”

Maddox's look hardened. It was so easy to transport himself back to a time when they were something else, when he was something else. While his feelings for her might not have changed in ten years, he had. So much had happened, things he couldn't tell her. He could stand this look, angry, sad, even hurt. The disgust at who he had to be for the past decade, that was too much for him to bear. Maddox felt every accusation she hurled at him like a punch to the gut. He couldn't blame Summer for thinking that way, but it couldn't be farther from the truth.

“I can't. It wasn't like that. It never was like that.” He looked at her, and fought the urge to cross his arms too, wondering if she beat him to it on purpose. “I am sorry for having to leave. You deserved better,” he resigned.

She threw her arms up in the air. “You have no idea what I deserved! You were what I wanted and you walked out and I was…”

She hesitated to say what she wanted to, dismissing it altogether. She was not going to go there yet.

“Nevermind. Just know, I'm not all that innocent either. We all do things we regret, Maddox. You can shut me out if you want, but it will only eat at you more.”

She looked at him with so much sadness, tears still staining her cheeks. “I shouldn't have stayed. Please apologize to your mother for me.”

She started to gather her things to leave, but stopped and without turning around, spoke again. “I'll get your story reassigned to someone else.”

Maddox knew he should let Summer go, take the hurt and the pain of the loss again, but his mind and his heart were at odds.

“Alright,” he said, the resignation felt like releasing a breath he had been holding for too long. “I will tell you everything. On one condition. You're the one who writes my story at the end, for better or worse. You might come to regret this. Some things are better not knowing. There is a warehouse on Riverfront and 23rd. I will send your editor the address. Meet me there tomorrow morning.”

Summer didn't turn around. She couldn't. She only nodded and walked out of his door, practically running for three blocks before she finally hailed a cab and got in. She gave the driver her address and sat back against the seat. She didn't know how to get through it, through seeing him yet another day. There were too many memories and what made it harder, was that they were wonderful. She sighed to herself. She didn't know why he chose to shut her out of his life suddenly. Maybe he actually thought he was protecting her; she didn't know, but he was right about one thing - some things are better not knowing and maybe she should keep it that way.

****

“Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have let you give up so much,” Maddox's mother's voice came from behind.

He frowned, but didn't turn to face her. “That is exactly why I didn't,” he replied.

Maddox heard his mother's voice trembling, she was crying. “Your father was a cruel and abusive man, he didn't deserve your loyalty.”

Maddox sighed, on the surface she was absolutely right about that fact, as hypocritical as it might have been for her to say it.

“He had his reasons. I hate that I understand that now,” Maddox said as he walked back to his study and closed the door.

His evening was a complete write off. All the work he tried to do was interrupted by thoughts of Summer. The sound of her voice, her scent, the way she crossed her legs, causing her skirt to sneak up her thigh. The harder he tried to push her from his mind, the more aggressive the memories became. He re-lived their last night together over and over, the emotions it evoked a confusing mishmash of bliss and misery.