The Next Chapter
I had a hard time falling asleep last night. Finally, in the middle of the night, I fell into a deep slumber and dreamt that a doctor was examining my naked body. He said that I didn’t exist — just like God doesn’t exist. Neither he nor I. Exist. I don’t exist, but there are words in place of me. Just the same as it is with God. Words in place of God. God is words, speech, expressions.
Olanda! My Olanda! I don’t want to be understood. I want to be great. Only petty things are understandable. To be understood means to stoop to the level of people. God knew this. Or else man’s longing for God knew about it. There’s nothing more uncomprehended and incomprehensible than God.
I must think — in despite of myself and others. Otherwise, I’m dead. Completely. I can’t think up an
