Love But Hate!

Chapter 4

Why does feeling is so complicated?

The day went well despite the interference of the three musketeers in my office - not to mention suddenly. Just before I head back to home which is family mansion, I have received a text message from Xander since he heard about my first day at Knight's, so he invited me for a dinner.

I want to reject his offer, but I think I am being cold thus I accept it. As the clock strikes five pm, I make my way back to the mansion. Apparently, I have to postpone my talks with my parents.

I take a quick bath just to make freshen myself and I decide to have a rugged look for tonight. I wore a long sleeve button up shirt in black colour and I pair with my ripped jeans together with a pair of nude pumps.

The make up for tonight is natural and I put a soft pink colour lipstick. When I finished my make up, I received a text message from Xander that he is already here.

I walk down the stairs in a hurry and luckily, I didn't fall despite the heels I am wearing. I open the door and there he is in a white v neck shirt in beneath of his leather jacket and he pair with his blue navy jeans.

Back in my college, all my friends are wondering why I am not attracted to him while he is head over heels for me - their words not mine. He is good looking with that 6'2' ft tall, he has a good body with that six pack abs where I saw it just once and he has his own company but that is not something I look for.

I don't know why but he is not the one that I want to be that special someone. No. I didn't feel anything – there is no sparks when I touch him. Nada.

“I guess I make a correct choice to wear like this.” I said to him, grinning.

He nodded, “We have a good chemistry though.” He winks.

I closed the door and he guide me to his car. Wow, he drives a Ferrari. I like it. I love speed. It gives me some thrill and to drive this car - it will be so fun as hell.

He opens the car door for me and jerk his head, asking me to enter into his car. I did while checking the interior. It is not like I never seen or ride a Ferrari before, but this is a new one. So, I guess it excites me.

He slid into the car and start the engine making the car roar, “You like it?”

I smile, a part of me are embarrassed, “Yes, I like it. Always.”

“Great.”

“Hey, where are we going?”

He grin, and shook his head, “Surprise.”

Well, I don't bother to ask anymore. If a guy said it is a secret, then it is always a secret. They wouldn't tell you anything so asking them more wouldn't change anything.

After thirty minutes in that beautiful car, we reach the destinations. A famous restaurant, La Belle, an Italian restaurant - it is hard to come to this restaurant because they need to be booked. But I guess being a somebody will help it though.

The car door is open wide for me to slid out, so I did. He closed the door and grab my hand to the restaurant. After telling the waiter at the door, he bows down and bring us to our respective table.

Xander pull out the chair for me it is very gentlemen of him to do that. I sit down, and he took a sit in front of me. The same waiter brings us our menu and we make an order.

I am drooling right now, the aroma of the food making me hungry.

“So, how is your first day?”

“Not so bad, I have my first meeting today and just get to know all the employee on my floor.”

“By the way, it might be too late but congratulations.”

“Thanks. How about you? You're the new CEO of Reed group.”

“Hell. Lots of work and there is some people who doubt my work.”

I make an annoyed face, there will always be a people like that, “That sucks. My brother encounters that problem too, but I guess he ignore it.”

Xander nodded, “Yeah, the best way is to forget about it.”

I was about to reply but my attentions now fall on the food which is being served by the waiter. This look good.

“So, you like it?” He asked me, grinning widely.

“Is that even a question? I love it.”

I pick up my spoon and start to devour my seafood pasta - a carbonara but a little bit of twist but still it tastes really good. No wonder - it is full of people anytime.

When I look at Xander - I remember the first two years in Harvard. We are very close making all gossip arise about us being a lover, but I shrugged it off. But, a night change that - he confesses that he kind of like me more than friends.

It turns very awkward that time - too weird that I finally avoid meeting him. Even when we meet, I would make an excuse but I am glad that all the feelings vanished and he never brought it up anymore so I guess it kind of relieved.

“Having a date, swan?” That voice.

I turn to my right and look at Blade - who is smiling right now. He holds out his hand to Xander and they have a handshake.

A woman then come to Blade's side, hugging and kissing him. Of course, I know her - the ultimate bimbo girl, Yvonne.

“Not a date. Just hang out.” I answered him, and he just nodded. His eyes never leave me, so it is weird. His partner is with us, so he should stop that right?

“Well, enjoy your food.” He leans down to me and give me kiss on my cheek.

“You look nice.” He whispers in my ear just before he stood up again. I think I am blushing - I hope it is not so obvious.

“Well, I bet you going to have a good night today?” I smirk. I am sure they are going to have some kind of activity tonight.

He just smiles and wave me, “Nice to see you dude.” He then walks away from our table to the main door.

Ah! I think he just finished his dinner here. Well, it might be awkward to know he is here. But why I didn't see him just now?

And how did he saw me?

“He is Blade Haford, right?”

I nodded, “Why?”

“You know him?”

“He is my brother's best friend. So yeah, I know him for years already.

He nodded and sipped his wine, “But from the way he looks at you, I think he likes you.

I laugh loudly at that words, the biggest playboy likes me? That is a big NO everyone.

“He hates me. Well, we never talk without having an argument at last. We were not that fond of each other and that kind of look? Well, he is good in giving everyone that. How do you think he earned the playboy title?”

“Well, fine Ms Knight. I can't argue with you.”

I finished my dinner very quick because one - I love good food, two – I am hungry and three because that's what I am. A dessert come out soon after we finished our main course.

I drool again - looking at the tiramisu in front of me.

“Your favourite.” He said, digging the cake.

Of course, he knew what I love or hate. He knew me well. We talk about our past except the part he confessed to me about his feeling when we were in Harvard.

I think I make a lot of good memories there and it is nice having someone to talk to. We decide to leave the restaurant since it is already late and both of us has work to attend to tomorrow.

He drives me back to my house and we reach it in thirty minutes which felt just like fifteen minutes due to the talking and laughing - also singing to the music in blaring in the car.

“Thank you for tonight. It is great, and I have so much fun.” I thank him. It is true though.

“You are welcome. I am looking forward to meet you again. Good night.” He closed the distance between us and give me a hug. It is really comfortable. He pulled away and I give him a smile.

“Good night and drive safe.” He nodded, and I watch him slid into his car again. He waved at me and I wave him back. I watch his car leave the drive way of my home and I walk into the house.

No one in the house since it is quiet, so I make my way upstairs to my room. I changed into a comfortable clothe which is tank top and shorts.

I lay down on my bed, sighing.

What happen to Blade anyway? Where is the cold stare - the I hate you speech - the stupid nickname he gave me before this?

He is different – very different from five years back. I know I should be happy but no it isn't. My heart is beating so hard like it can burst any second.

He is not that jerk anymore - the one that I hate.

And he scared me so much – I am scared that I don't hate him anymore and I am scared that I could fall for him.

But I think that is what he wanted - for me to like him ever again so he could insult.

I should stop thinking about him because it will make me crazy.

I wake up feeling so confuse when did I sleep. All I remember is I am thinking of that jerk. I look at the clock on the wall and it is quarter to seven. I should wake up now. I strip off and have a bath. I turn the shower on and waited till it become hot. I step in and it feels so nice.

I finished my shower in fifteen minutes and blow dry my hair. I make a loose braid and put on a natural make up. I'm not in the mood for some heavy make-up plus I am not going to club so natural is good.

I put on white long sleeve button up shirt with a black blazer and pair with also a black palazzo. I think I look okay - probably good. I choose a pair of white high heels to wear and I grab my handbag along with me.

When I walk down the stairs, I can smell the aroma of food. I enter the dine room and a stack of pancakes are in front of me. I take two of them and pour some syrup on top of it.

I love this.

When I finished my breakfast - I thank the chef though for making a good pancake and he only replied me with a nod, I make my way to my Range Rover Evoque.

I start the engine and look at my watch - I have another twenty minutes to reach the building, so speed it is. The moment I sit down on my chair in my room, the clock strike exactly at eight am. I am good enough to be a racer.

I look at the files on my desk and sigh. My second day and I feel like I am going to quit.

My secretary, Denise enter my room, “What do I have today?” I asked her as I look at her and smile.

She smiles back, “First, I have this for you. Someone delivered it to you.” I took the roses from her and put it aside. I will look at it later.

She continues telling me my schedule for today. It is not that hectic - only I have to finished reading all the files since it is the current project and I am having a meeting for them to explain further to me.

I nodded and dismissed her. My gaze turns to the roses, so I pick it up and the smell of the fresh roses fill my nose.

I notice the card among the roses, so I take it. I am assuming it is from Xander but the moment I read what is written on the card – I am speechless.

Good morning, swan. Hope you have a lovely day. Xx

- Blade

I am thinking of two things to do, to throw away the roses or keep it. I decide to keep it, so I put it aside and the card I put it on my bag.

Should I message him to thank him or just ignore?

I decide with the second one.

I push away all the thoughts and start reading the files on my desk. The meeting will be held after lunch, so I have lots of time.

A knock on the door snapped me out from my reading. Without looking at the door - thinking it is my secretary, I muttered two words, “Come in.”

I can hear the shoes clicking indicating the person is entering my room and I look up to look.

Blade?

“What are you doing here?”

He smirk, “I kind of miss you and I am wondering whether you have received my flower, so I came here to check.”

I gaped - shock with his confession but I cover it quickly, “Thank you for the kind gesture but I don't miss you.”

He put his hand on his chest, “It hurts but it is okay. Have a nice day and –” He look at me right in the eyes by leaning a little bit, but the table still separate us, “- stop going out with other guy.” He smirks.

I laugh, “I do whatever I want and you have no say in whatever I do.”

His smirk worn out and he turn to the serious person I once knew, “I wish you could understand.”

He turns around and walk to the door. His hand already on the door knob when he turns a bit to look at me once before he walk away from the door.

I take a deep breath and release.

I recall his word again, he wished I could understand him.

Understand - what?

I really can't understand him. I wonder how Yvonne stick with him. He is so weird.

I look again at the roses and my hand touch it lightly. My heart is beating out loud and I don't think I like it.