Ordinary

Eleven

Ordinary's POV

Diary Excert

"It's been two weeks since the incident with my mother. By the time I had woken that next day, the blood was no longer anywhere to be seen and everything smelled of fresh paint. They held a small funeral for her and Jason has barely let me out of his sight since then. I have officially been accepted as a member of the pack here and it's so strange to not have some sort of weird vibe hanging over me. I don't feel as though any moment, I am going to be asked to make up for damage that I had no hand in creating. While sad, it is almost a welcomed feeling that I still don't know how to process."

"In far lighter news... I have decided that today will be the day. I am going to ask him to teach me what I've been wanting to learn. Although, considering I am too nerve ridden to even write it... Although, that has more to do if how I would feel if someone were to pick this up and read it.... Or does it? Maybe, I should take today to reflect on why I can't write this thing I want to learn down. I'll worry about asking him to teach it to me after I master that task. How am I going to ask if I can't even figure out why I'm not ready to write it! I'm definetly stalling... I want this thing more than anything I've ever wanted. Just write it already! Ready? Set.... Nope! Ugh.... Okay. I, Ordinary Kennedy, want to ask my mate, Jason Micheals, to teach me to"

"Hey, I had a feeling I'd find you in here." Jason says, coming to the porch with two cups of coffee. "Writing really seems to be helping you? That's amazing!"

I thank him for the coffee and we go back and forth on some of the progress we've noticed and things we would enjoy doing today or seeing.

"I can't thank you enough for everything you do for me, Jason. I can't believe how lucky I was to meet you."

"Ord, there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." he says, kissing my forehead.

Now, it's now or never....

Noticing my unease, Jason drops his tone "What is it?"

I stare at him, mouth open for a moment before slamming it back shut. "Nothing, it's nothing."

He throws me a knowing look "Come on, just tell me."

"Well... I do kind of want something..."

"Anything. Let me go get dressed" he says, while motioning towards the sweat pants and tank top he slept in "and we can go get it."

"Jase wait..." holding him in place, I nervously stammer. "I don't want to go anywhere."

"Okay" staring at me with a slightly confused face "Do you want me to go get whatever it is?

Shaking my head no, I stare at the floor.

"So is the thing here?"

"Uhh.. Kinda?"

He laughs, "You're going to have to help me here babe. What is it you're wanting?"

Staring at my hands as I fidget "I... Uhh.... Nevermind." turning bright red, quickly abandoning my idea.

"What is it Sweet? You can tell me anything." he says, staring at me with his intense, dark brown eyes. "There's obviously something, my love. Whatever it is, I would really like to know. Especially if it has you this worked up."

"I... Uhh... I want to learn to... Umm..." looking everywhere but at him, I scramble to find the nerves to finish my sentence. "I..."

"Nevermind," I sighed, " it's stupid. I'm sorry."

"Ordinary." he says with a slow and heavy breath, "If it's something you want, I want to know about it. I doubt I will find anything you want to learn about the slightest bit 'stupid' "

Shit! I don't know where to take this conversation from here. Do I back out or keep going? He's going to get annoyed if I sit here saying absolutely nothing.

"You said it was something you wanted to learn. Is it something you want me to teach you or you want someone else to teach you?"

"You." I barely choke out.

I squirm in my seat, still unable to look him in the eye. "My beautiful mate" he says softly grabbing my chin to lift my face to him "unless the floor is where you want me to f**k you, there's no reason for you to look down at it." My body instantly reacts to his bold words and I'm ready to melt. Chuckling lightly at my gasp before continuing "Goddess, everything you do is incredible." He leans his face in close to mine, and I wait eagerly for him to kiss me, closing my eyes. After a soft kiss, he says "If you want to drop whatever this secret is for the moment, that's fine. It's obviously making you uncomfortable and I can't force you to tell me. But I would like to revisit it, when you're ready."

Pulling back to look at his face, I'm met with a loving face laced with concern. He truly isn't annoyed that my words are failing me. It seems almost unfair to not tell him if it's going to be a cause of concern for him.

"It's not bad or really all that serious.... I just want to learn to umm...." Stammering, my face flushes while I force the words out. "I want to learn to talk like you do."

A little too high pitch, I follow up with, "It's just... You always know what to say... What I'd like to hear... I just want to do that.. But.. What you'll want to hear. I... Umm... Yea." Releif, understanding, and then an almost devious look wash over Jason's face.