Spirit Wolf - Darkness (Book Three)

6. Breaking the soul

REI’S POV:

“I don’t know if I can do this.” I expressed my doubts about this plan. Rosie was literally asking me to let her use a spell on me which would practically make me asleep without actually sleeping if that makes sense, and on top of that, she wanted to get into my dreams. I was completely unsure how she wanted to do that and definitely didn’t like this idea.

“Do you want to fix this problem or not?” She asked me straight and I narrowed my lips into a thin line thinking what would actually be the best option. Honestly I missed Calen. That was even the main reason I had pulled myself together this morning and went out of my room only to meet with this strange situation.

I let out a deep and loud sigh and nodded to her. “So let’s try this.” Rosie said and I had to admit I was defeated. Rosie was not with me in the spirit realm and I didn’t know if actually bringing her there was alright. Isaac was already able to enter the spirit realm and because of that he was able to control my people. Now I was willingly bringing another witch into the sacred place. ‘Maat?’ I called her in my mind. ‘Yes?’ She replied to me with her motherly and caring voice as always. She was the closest friend to me and the only one I could actually call mother at this point. 

‘What do you think? Should we do this?’ I asked her for advice. ‘No matter how much I want out mate back, there is seriously something wrong. I can still feel a weak connection to Thoth but I can’t reach him. Not the same as before when you were still underage and the bond was not mature. This is way too strange not to mention the fact that whatever Rosie will do, she won’t be able to enter the spirit realm.’ Maat started to explain and for the first time I was really caught by her words and totally speechless. 

‘What do you mean?’ I had no idea what she was talking about. ‘Isaac is a sorcerer and was able to enter the spirit realm why can't she enter then? Plus, we had already talked about this. Why didn't you tell me that you felt something strange about the bond? Don’t you think that this is actually important information?” I sort of scolded her. Since the morning we were discussing this story about our mate completely forgetting everything about us but not even once she mentioned that she also lost the connection with Thoth. I would understand he didn’t remember her but there should still be mate bond no matter how much I ordered him. 

“Maat says that you won’t be able to enter the spirit realm.” I said out loud while still waiting for Maat’s explanation. “Why is that?” Rosie questioned me back. “I don’t know. Still waiting for explanation from Maat. She said there is also something wrong with the mate bond. She said the bond is very weak and she can’t reach Thoth at all. It seems either us or they are disconnected from the spirit realm which actually doesn’t make much sense.” I summarized my thoughts but honestly I still didn’t know if I was right about that or not. 

“I don’t think that would be the cause. There is no chance you would get cut off from the spirit realm and neither any of the wolves. That would be just insane.” Rosie said but I saw she was deeply thinking about what I said. ‘Rosie is right about this. It is not possible to disconnect from the spirit realm. Even after death wolves are connected to this place since this is their home. Here we are waiting to be reborn. What you see is still slightly different from what we see and sure we don’t have access to the whole sphere since we are alive. Living world is still partly disconnected from the spirit world. What we can enter is only the edge of the spirit realm.’ Maat started to explain and I understood how complex this was. 

‘So why does Rosie can’t enter this sphere?’ I asked her directly. ‘She is not paired with the wolf.’ Maat said and I literally gave her my ‘are-kidding-me’ look. ‘Same as Isaac, remember? He is a sorcerer not a werewolf.’ I made sure to sound as ironic as I could. ‘He was connected to the several wolves. You only saw him because he connected part of his own consciousness with everyone who was under his control. If Rosie would do that not only she would have to use dark magic but literally split her soul. It is not something you should take slightly. There is no step back once you decide to make such a decision and your soul will be shattered forever. Based on how many people you share your consciousness with, your soul will be split into the same amount of pieces. The process is more complicated than this but like this I think you might get a clear picture of what she would have to do. Isaac became part of the spirit realm only by shattering his own soul and consciousness and because of this he is abruptly searching for the way to prolong his life. Once he dies, he can’t be reborn as he is.’ Maat sounded serious but there was something that bothered me in her words. She was talking about splitting souls to be able to share your consciousness with others, in Isaac’s case to control their minds fully but did that mean Maat did this thousands years ago? That’s why her soul was broken and I was created? 

‘Maat? Is that what happened to your soul?’ I asked cautiously, aware of what I was saying. There was silence and I understood Maat was ashamed answering me or she simply didn’t want to say what happened to her soul. It was a hurtful topic also for me, especially since I knew that my soul is actually the other half of hers but I deserved to know the truth. I deserved to know what happened back there. ‘This would be a story for another time.’ Maat said just before she shut the connection between us off and disappeared back to our mind. 

I let out a long sigh before I started to explain the things to Rosie. I told her everything about shattering her soul to let her consciousness enter my own so she should enter the spirit realm with me. Now when I was thinking about it, it was easier for anybody else to enter there with me since they were werewolves and especially Calen, since he was my mate, he could share that space with me but Rosie never was there and also the moment I broke the connection between Isaac and those werewolves, his soul immediately backed off. 

“That would make sense.” Rosie said after a while as she was thinking about what I just said. “But either way I somehow have to make you remember your dreams so we can find out what is going on.” She added and I narrowed my eyebrows. Sadly, she was right about this. Something had happened inside of the spirit realm. Not only I was entering that place during my sleep but I didn’t remember anything from there since I came back except my feelings which were another reason I felt so lost and confused about that place.