All About Blues

Chapter 08

Wether it was the cold air condition or was it Azul herself, Klay is uncertain what makes the atmosphere inside his car freezing. He just dropped Consuelo and that he's already alone with Azul inside his car. It was a bit awkward but at the same time sedating for him. As for Azul, everything seems suffocating. The whole journey back in the Montreal's residence is comprise of random conversation and awkward air. The insipid monotony inside Klay's car went suffocating for her after no longer having Consuelo's presence around.

It was a sort of setup that is much of not foreign and yet she won't get used to it. The atmosphere that has been prevailing all around Klay's car is as similar on her past encounters with some significant people. Awkward and suffocating— that feeling when no one is literally doing anything but it takes large amount of energy to stand the silence that it's frustrating. It seems something in the air that has to be seized by the both of them and their taking much strength to grasp it.

And fortunately...

"Have you eaten yet?" Klay decided to break the silence. He glanced at her from the rear view mirror and that she also met his gazes there. "Its past 9 so..."

"I took some carbo earlier but we can grab dinner right now" she just said, comfortably "I mean I'm not quite hungry but I feel like eating, I assume you haven't had your dinner too."

"I haven't" he smiled "Let's head in a diner then"

They arrived in the nearest diner that Klay knew, as they arrived there were already a lot of people but it's not as busy that they instantly got catered but it took them minutes of waiting.

"Seems like you get along with Consuelo pretty well"

"She's a great woman"

"Indeed" he conceded "Did she call you to come with her in the hospital?"

"Oh no" Azul shook her head "We just happen to encounter each other earlier and learned that we're heading in the same place"

"You're also heading in the hospital?"

"Yeah" nonchalantly "Just attended my checkup"

"Oh, I thought something happened to you. I haven't seen you for days, like— I mean I haven't encountered you around the university"

"Well I've been so busy the past days, also reckoning that I have to attend those units that I didn't had to back in my previous college, commonly GenEd"

"That's sounds awful" said Klay, remembering he has been in the same page as her back when he's still taking his pre-law.

"Indeed, quite stressful. I'd certainly take another year before finishing college" she glanced downward, not wanting to show him her dismay and that she was smiling as she get back to him "But I doubt I'd be able to make it that far."

Klay knitted his brows "Come one, don't be like that. You can make it through, trust in yourself!" He exclaimed "Besides your a brilliant girl."

"I was told so..." she snorted "But its not really about that." she started biting the flesh inside her cheeks.

Klay do not have any notion what else she could be talking about, he has thought about financial issue but Azul doesn't seem to have been coming from an average family; but who knows, he added at the back of his mind.

"I see" he just then responded.

"How about you?" Azul asked, a bit confusing Klay.

"What about me?"

"Are you really sincere about taking law?"

"Oh well" he lowered his gazes down.

"W-Why?"

He lifted his gazes back at her "I used to receive such question really. At some point that's fathomable as my family is comprised of professional doctors or that they were really into the field of medicine."

"They did not ask you to trod the same path as them?"

"They did, but fortunately they did not pursue the matter. They're cool on whatever field I'd get myself into, but other people thinks otherwise"

"Oooh"

"They keep on questioning my decision about entering Law School. Some thought that I just did it just because most of my batch mates are taking the course, some say it's because I want to prove myself and be entitled by my hostility or that I took that one as my ego tells me so. My g—"

He didn't had to finish his statement as the waiter arrived together with their orders. He carefully puts its above their table, one by one. When everything's settled and that the waiter had gone away Azul instantly get back to their conversation.

"Where are we again?"

"Oh no, let's move on from that"

Azul had her brows knitting and lips pouting for a moment and said "O-okay"

Klay began ransacking his buffalo wings not until when he noticed what Azul was consuming "Coffee?" he questioned as of seeing a couple of venti sized cappuccino and a single serve of fries. "I thought you'd get some dinner?"

"Isn't it enough for a dinner?"

Klay looked down at his food and said "Well"

They both grinned and gets back at their own foods while still chatting randomly. They enjoyed the moment that they did notice how the place gets hectic and ransacked by costumers and that Klay did not even notice how he ordered more and more bowl of buffalo wings and ends up having four bowls in their table.

"Did I really finished four serve of a buffalo wing alone?"

"You did"

"And you just had water all along?" She nodded "I can't believe you didn't stop me!"

"Is it bad for you?"

"Buffalo wings? No, maybe no. But you know I haven't consumed such amount of food for awhile, I'd certainly upset my stomach."

"Me either"

"You haven't got a couple of venti sized coffee for a while uh"

"I never got any of what I've eaten for tonight"

"What do you mean?"

Klay was curious and Azul has no intention of telling him something that she ended up grinning over it. Klay's still confused and wondering but as much as how he wants to know, he also don't want to be intrusive and just lets her keep things up. Reckoning that they just met and are only seems acquainted to each other. A sort of relationship that he wish, from the abyss of his desire, would gone into something more than acquaintances.

When they get back in the car they decided to take more time to rest from that eating rush. Azul was already seated in the passengers sit right beside Klay. The windows from the both doors are rolled down letting the fresh cold nightly air goes in and out.

The suffocating awkwardness from earlier was replaced by a tiring ease or a weary rest. The silence is still there but it no longer brought any negative vibe that could be suffocating to the both of them. Everything seems to have adjusted earlier in that hour long talk together with mouthful of consumed food in that diner.

"I'd drive you back the university" said Klay as he began settling himself.

Azul turned to look at him and said "I don't want to, yet" frankly and monotonously.

Klay met his gazes, wordless to even respond to her. He knows what she seems suggesting but he's diffident and has no idea where to bring her. And it took him moments before grasping courage to ask— "Where do you want to go?"

Azul smiled to herself and looked away, back at the night sky before mumbling "I don't know"

"It's late, I don't think I'd be able to send you back to your dorm"

"It's still 9–" she glanced at her phone "Just ticks 10, it won't take a couple of hours driving back"

"And if we would not—"

"You don't want to—"

"It's not like that" he cuts her off, already knew what she was to say "But you still have classes tomorrow. It was fine to me actually as my first class was in afternoon, I can take much rest but what about you?"

"I'm fine" she simply said, not even reassuring and yet sounding more weary that it made Klay a bit worried.

"Why?"

"What does that suppose to mean?"

"Why don't you want to get back in your dorm?"

She dropped her back at the backrest of the seat "The previous days has been quite tiring and stressful, I want to rest but not that usual rest of sleeping and laying in the bed" she sighed "I want to go to a place where I can breath or a place where I can sedate my mind for some time"

"College was indeed stressful" said Klay "But it seems there's more to your tiredness than academic issue. Not meaning to be intrusive or what but if you have or want to tell a story I'm all open-ears."

Azul looked back at him "It's not really a big matter. It's just I think I'm regretting my decisions lately"

"Decisions?"

"I decided to get by myself and study here in the downtown, because I thought that would be better for me. I thought that would help me edify myself, help me breath and you know help me feel like I'm free at least ones in my lifetime" she lowered her gazes down "But noticing how I've been quite frustrated and so lame lately, I doubt if it was really what's better for me."

"Why did you decided to even go here? I mean to choose to study in this hectic, polluted and chaotic downtown. There were other parts of this city which has a college that could offer the same course and perhaps gives better service and learnings to student"

"I know, but I'm eager to get away from where I came from. I don't like it there, it's suffocating there and everyone there sucks"

"Including your parents?"

"Mostly them, maybe. But come on don't get that wrong, I totally appreciate them and I don't have any issue with them or anyone in that town. The only issue I have was really what I have with myself." She reinforced but more like withdrawing her latter statement. Seems feeling the guilt of badmouthing the people and the place that helped her through.

"That sucks" Klay commented.

And when Azul figured it all out she nagged herself at the back of her mind. She literally just spill certain although limited information about her life, something that she refrains doings so. Even her roommate knows nothing about her, she thought. She also questioned her complacency of telling something to someone she just met, someone she barely knew— it seems trusting a stranger.

_But what else, from my statement could he used against me though? _

She ended up having that thought, somewhat coercing her to calm down and think that she hasn't really done something lame or something stupid, that telling him something about how she feels isn't really stupid. But there's still part of her, a big part of her insists it, troubling her mind much more.

Klay on the other hand is as well troubled. He was curious about what she just told him, and that he knows that he wants to hear more from her that's why he conceded about driving Azul to somewhere, and that she could not get back to her dorm yet. He was interested about what life this girl has back in her hometown, what kind of family she has or what kind of people surrounds her before. He is eager to know more from her, he is eager to hear her voice telling her story or telling her what she feels— ones again.

A desire that had him confuse that ends up having him nag himself— he knows that isn't right, he feels that it seems forbidden to want something or be curious about something from other woman reckoning the inconvertible fact that he is already committed to a certain someone.