The Healing Souls

Dinner Talk

[Gemma]

We worked that little car over until it was unrecognizable. When the alarm went off letting us know our time was off, we brushed away debris that had landed on our clothes and left the weapons behind.

After we turned in the glasses and paid, we headed out to the car. There was something peaceful in our connection now. Maybe that had really helped Austin more than I thought it would. If it did, then I wouldn’t mind paying for more visits. Maybe it was the talk we had, though.

I drove us to Carroll’s and we were seated fairly quickly. The restaurant was still getting a lot of vampire business, but now it was because they had introduced a vampire menu and set up a place where they could prepare blood foods for vampires in the kitchen.

There weren’t many restaurants that catered to vampires, and Carroll’s kept the prices lower than other places. It might not be the fanciest place, but it was good food. I was betting that vampires were liking the way they seasoned the food, too. Their senses were as strong, if not stronger, than ours.

We looked over our menu. Austin reached out and took my hand. I looked over at him and he seemed a little lost. I could feel his embarrassment.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I’ve never been to a restaurant. There are so many choices. I don’t know what to get….”

“We’ll get two of my favorites and you can try some of each one. I bet you’ll like one of them. Whichever one you like more, will be yours to finish,” I told him.

Austin smiled at me gratefully. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden.”

“You aren’t a burden and I don’t want you to be sorry. This is a new thing for you. Look at it as an adventure and forget about the things you don’t know or have never done. I’m here and you can always lean on me. Okay?”

He sighed a shook his head. “I should do better, be better. I feel like you have to take care of me far more than you should. This is hard. I know I came into this relationship wounded, but the last week you have been nothing but patient with me.

“There’s no frustration coming from you at all and it confuses me. I think I might feel frustrated or upset if my mate didn’t immediately accept me and my heart. I pushed you away while keeping you close. Sometimes I’m overly affectionate, sometimes I’m cold, and you never even flinch, but change to whatever I need.”

“That’s how the mate bond works. If I were hurt like you were, as much as you think you wouldn’t understand, you would. I’m not a patient person in a lot of ways, but I became that when my mate needed it. Deep down inside, I’m itching for the time when you will be ready for everything.

“I know we’ll be happy together Austin and if we have to take baby steps to get there, then that’s what we’ll do. That’s what love is. Being there for the person you love however they need you,” I told him.

“I’m failing at it, then. I’m being selfish and letting you give me everything while I give you nothing. You must resent me a little for that.”

I shook my head. “No. When I need you, you’ll be there. Right now, I don’t need any special love or care. I only need you. I love seeing you grow and I want to be by your side as you move forward.”

Our waiter chose that time to approach. I placed our orders and we told him what drinks we wanted. He took our menus and left us alone again.

“Would you be mad at me if I told you I changed my mind about being ready to… sleep with you?” Austin asked softly.

“Not mad. A little disappointed, but I said I would wait for you to be ready and I will. But tell me why you changed your mind. You seemed to really like the idea earlier,” I said.

He was quiet and picked at the table cloth a little. I could see a slight blush as he avoided eye contact. A nervousness that I knew wasn’t mine ran through me.

The waiter returned with our drinks. Austin sipped his, but still didn’t look at me. It was mildly frustrating, but only because I wanted him to be comfortable enough to talk to me.

“Austin? I really promise, I’m not mad. I just want to understand better. It’s not like I only think of s*x or anything, but I’d like to know how I can help you be more comfortable with me.”

“I told you I never dated. I was never with anyone like that before and you were. I guess, I’m just afraid and when my desire for you subsides, I keep remembering that you know more than I do and will disappoint you.”

That was very sweet of him, but if he waited for me to forget what s*x with other people was like it would be a very long time before we ever had s*x. I didn’t want to tell him how silly he was being. It felt like he would take that as something worse.

“No one is good their first time. It takes time to learn, but you won’t learn anything if you don’t actually do it. I don’t care about what my past lovers were like compared to you. You’re my mate, my forever, and even if you aren’t good, you can learn to be.”

“Did you ever even consider saving yourself for me?” Austin asked.

I sighed. This was one of those things I had practiced in my head a hundred times. The way he asked the question, though, kind of made me mad. It was more like an accusation than a question.

He needed my patience for a lot of things, sometimes his tone was unintentional. I understood that and I wouldn’t make a huge stink over it, but if he didn’t change it, I would start getting upset. I might be understanding of a lot of things, but not of disrespect.

“Austin, my life before you was my business. I made choices that were right for me at the time. I was a little hedonistic, but not the worst. If anything, it taught me what to expect and how to take control of things more. No, I didn’t consider saving myself for my mate. Frankly, I can only see how that works in your favor. I’m not afraid, I’m not shy, and I’m not going to balk or shy away from anything you want to try.

“This isn’t about me, this is about you. You’re scared and you’re trying to start a fight so that I change my mind or let you off the hook. For how long, though, Austin? You asked me to marry you tonight. You asked me to marry you and you’re still afraid of losing me. It’s not that easy to get me to go away.

“You’re not getting rid of me, you’re not losing me, and you’re not disappointing me. I’ve been gentle for as long as I can. Now I’m going to be stern and you’re going to listen to me. You are my mate and the only man that I have ever truly wanted. Even though I had flings before, they were never serious and I never loved them. I have only loved you for my entire life and I will only love you until the day I die, Austin. Do you understand?” I asked.

He was quiet again, staring at me. Of course, our food came before I could get an answer. I moved the plate in front of me over by him so he could try each dish. Austin tried a bite of each then selected the plate that had been put in front of him. I moved the other dish back over to me and ate.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly between bites. “You’re right. I’ve never had something, someone, of my own. I’m scared. You’re beautiful and intelligent and strong. I don’t know how I can deserve someone like you when I’m… someone like me.

“Being an omega in a pack where that is one of the worst things you can be doesn’t help. You’re a Gamma blood wolf and I’m just an omega. How can I ever be everything you want and need?”

“Just be you, Austin. You’re all I need. You’re all I want. The goddess made you perfect for me. I love being around you. I love playing with you and talking to you. Lying next to you, cuddling you, holding your hand, all of it is enough for me.

“I have money and can pay for everything our family needs. You can do photography because you love it and not for a career. Or you can do both. I want you to take classes and learn everything you can about it. Don’t worry about how to make a living, I’ve got you covered.

“As for everything else, we’ll figure it out as we go. Trust in our connection and our love for each other. Trust in me too. I’m always going to be there for you. Okay?” I asked.

Austin nodded. “I guess I was just scared that the bond I feel with you is temporary. For some reason, it feels like it’s all too good to be true. Like it will be taken away from me if I let you down too much.”

“That will never happen. Now, eat up. We can finish this conversation back home and stop bothering all of the other supernaturals in the restaurant with it.” I laughed.

“I forgot about them. We should have probably used the link for that…. I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much.”

“Never. I love you.”

He didn’t reply, but I was fine with that. Austin hadn’t voiced his love for me very often, but when he did, I knew he meant it more than anyone else. It wasn’t a reflexive thing for him to say it. He said it when he really meant it.

We chatted about other things as we ate. I was happy that Austin seemed to be doing better after our talk. s*x probably wasn’t in the cards for tonight, but I didn’t mind that much. I didn’t want to wait, but I could. It had only been a week.

That was one of the things that also gave me hope. It had only been a week and he was already thinking he might be ready for s*x. He already knew he was ready for marriage. Austin was healing faster than I could have imagined.

When we were done, I paid the bill and left a tip for our server. Austin took my hand and we went out to the car again. I pulled him to me and gave him a short kiss before letting him go to get in the car.

Once we were in, I started it up and headed back to the fae lands. It had been a good date, in my opinion. We understood each other a lot more now and we had some fun. Maybe the next one wouldn’t have such a heavy dinner topic. For now, this was fine.

I was happy I got to spend so much time with my mate. It was important for our relationship to talk about everything we could and clear up any misunderstandings. Though some part of me wished Austin had been instantly healed and trusting because of our bond, nothing was ever that easy.

Back at Rock and Carmen’s house, we got comfortable and put on a movie. I picked out an older comedy, something that was relaxing to watch. Austin let me curl up on him while we watched the movie.

He laughed and talked while we watched it. I wasn’t normally a movie talker, but I started getting to like responding to what he said while we were watching. Sometimes I was clearing things up for him, but other times I was just replying to whatever he said.

By the time the movie was over, it was getting late. I didn’t want to get horribly off schedule, because I knew that it was important for Austin’s peace of mind to have a routine.

“Did you want to take a shower?” I asked Austin as we headed into our bedroom.

“I probably should, just to make sure I don’t have any slivers of glass or metal on me,” he replied.

“I should probably take one, too.”

Austin looked at me, then at the bathroom door. I could feel a fight going on inside him. Excitement, nervousness, confidence, and embarrassment flowed through our bond.

“Did… do… um… do you want to take a shower with me?” Austin asked nervously and cringed.

“That sounds like a good way to make sure there’s no metal or glass hiding where we can’t see it,” I answered and took his hand. “We should definitely take a shower together.”

“I didn’t know if that was asking too much.”

“It’s not. I love the idea of showering with you.”

We headed into the bathroom and started undressing. I could feel Austin’s nervousness grow. It was actually really cute. He was stepping out of his comfort zone and I was more than happy to support it.

Austin mostly hid himself from me until we were in the shower. He turned away from me and adjusted the temperature of the shower. The showerhead was very high up because the shower was built for a troll. It could easily spray both of us, so no one was left out in the cold.

I ran my hands over Austin’s bare back. He shuddered under my touch. Austin turned around to face me. His eyes met mine, and in that moment, I saw the vulnerability in his gaze. His body language spoke volumes, and I knew that he was ready to share his heart with me.

Without breaking eye contact, Austin reached out and took my hand, bringing it to his lips. He gently kissed each of my fingers before placing my hand on his chest, over his heart. I could feel his heart beating rapidly under my touch.

As we stood there, the water cascading over us, I felt a surge of emotion fill me. I pulled Austin closer to me and wrapped my arms around him. He rested his head on my shoulder, and I could feel his breath on my skin. In that moment, everything else faded away, and it was just the two of us.

“I love you,” Austin whispered, his voice barely audible over the sound of the shower.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I heard his declaration. The weight of his words hung in the air between us, and it was like time had stopped.

“I love you too,” I whispered back, feeling my heart swell with emotion.

Austin pulled away from me, his eyes searching mine before he leaned in and kissed me softly. It was a gentle kiss, filled with tenderness and affection. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me as the kiss deepened.

As the water continued to pour down over us, we lost ourselves in each other, our bodies pressed together in an embrace that felt like it could last forever. After our kiss, we stood there for a moment, our foreheads resting against each other’s. The only sounds were the water hitting the ground and our heavy breathing. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart.

“Gemma, can you wait a little longer for me? I just need more time before I can be fully... comfortable...” Austin said.

I nodded. “Of course, I can, Austin. I can wait as long as you need.”

He kissed me again. The intensity of our previous kiss was replaced by a soft, slow exploration of each other’s lips. Austin’s hands trailed down my back, pulling me closer to him as he deepened the kiss. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, and it was like we were the only two people in the world.

After a few moments, Austin pulled away, his eyes still closed as he took a deep breath. “I just need to take this slow,” he said, his voice low and husky.

I nodded, understanding completely. “I’m here for you, Austin. Whatever you need.”

After that, I helped him to clean up. We checked each other for stray bits of glass or metal from the rage room, but found none. We’d gotten lucky.

Once we were finished, we dried off and got ready for bed. Tonight wasn’t the night for us, but it was a start. At least I knew he really loved me.