The Healing Souls

Seeing More

[Carmen]

On Monday, Rock went to work and I worked from home. He made up some lunch for me to serve to Austin later on, so he could have meat that was cooked. I was grateful for that. I still couldn’t reach the stove and the kitchen wouldn’t be finished until December.

I kept the office door, and Austin’s door, open so I could hear if he needed me. After breakfast, Rock had taken him to and from the bathroom, carrying him instead of trying to support him. It was better for him to keep weight off his leg until the tendons and stuff healed.

Around eleven, I heard Austin’s breath quicken, as if he was panicking. I went to his room and spread out my magic. He was thrashing in his bed. I quickly went to his bedside and worked on soothing him. Rather than calming, he startled awake and tried to get away from me.

“It’s okay, Austin. You’re safe. No one will harm you here,” I told him gently.

He started calming as I talked to him. Austin sighed, sitting up in his bed and accepting my hand. This was obviously hard for him.

“I’m sorry. The nightmares are what made the natural wolves kick me out of their packs. I was disturbing their sleep.”

“We’re not natural wolves. You’re not going to lose your safety because you have bad things creep into your dreams. Your sleep would be much better if we could find your mate….”

“My mate won’t want to be with a rogue omega. She would never give up her place in her pack to be with me.” Austin sighed deeply.

“If her pack is better than yours was, then you might consider joining her pack. I know you had a bad experience with a pack, but you should think about it. I can vouch that not all packs are like yours. Mine isn’t.”

“You mean she won’t be forced to be an omega or be kicked out of her pack for being a rogue’s mate?” he asked.

“No! That’s not how packs work, Austin. Everything about your pack pisses me off. Alpha Trent would never do that to a member of his pack. I already told you that omegas aren’t slaves, but there’s no reason to kick someone out because their mate was a rogue. Trent would welcome the rogue into our pack.”

He was quiet for a while. If I could, I would go kick his Alpha’s ass for hurting people in his pack so badly. For all that packs loved getting more members, because it made us stronger, there were some who believed that excluding rogues from their pack was better than taking them in.

Our pack wasn’t like that. Trent and all of the Alphas who came before him would never force someone out because their mate was a rogue. They would celebrate their pack member finding their mate.

“Will she even want me, though? I’m not strong. I’m not powerful. All I can give her is me,” he said softly.

“Of course, she will want you. I can sense that your mate wants you very much. She is just waiting to find you.”

“I don’t know what to say to that. How can you be sure?”

“I have a fae blessing called True Sight. It lets me see beyond what others can. I can sense things about your mate because a piece of her soul is tied to you. Would you like me to tell you more about her?”

He shook his head. “If she doesn’t want me, I don’t know what I would do with whatever you told me. There’s a chance she won’t when she finds out I’m a rogue, it’s even more likely that she won’t want an omega. Unless she is an omega. Can you see that?”

I gripped his hand tighter and breathed deeply. I needed to know what her power level was or anything else I could grasp from the tiny bit of her that was attached to him. There was something familiar in the connection. She reminded me of someone I knew, but I couldn’t tell who it was.

What I did know, was that she was in love with her mate even though she had never met him. She wanted him no matter what he was or where he came from. That was it!

She reminded me of myself. I loved my mate before I found him. I didn’t care what he was or where he came from. Rock was my whole heart and soul.

“I can’t see if she’s an omega. What I can see is that she loves you no matter your rank or station. I think you should give her a chance to surprise you. Please give her that chance. Don’t reject her because you’re afraid,” I asked him softly. “It isn’t the sort of pain you want or want to inflict on someone else.”

“She might have a second chance who is better than me. What if I’m depriving her of something better?”

“You’re not. There’s nothing as precious as your first mate. They’re the ones the goddess picked for you from the moment you first got your wolf. I was lucky, in that the goddess gave me two mates to choose from. It still hurt when my first mate rejected me, but she had handpicked both of my mates to be perfect for me, no matter which one I met first. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, though.”

“Do you think the goddess considered what my mate might suffer if she accepted me? I don’t see how she could think forcing someone into my situation back in my pack was beneficial to them. I don’t know how I could have made anyone happy in my position.”

“Stop talking like that. The goddess had to have known there was a chance to free you. If your mate is in a different pack and her position in that pack was more important than yours, then you would go to her pack. I think the goddess was freeing you from that pack, no matter what. I believe in the goddess and her plan for us. You should too,” I insisted.

“I suppose…. It’s hard to think of the goddess letting that stuff go on in the pack. Why wasn’t she trying to save us?” Austin asked.

“She’s doing what she can, but the goddess can’t control everything. Believe in her and her plan for you, Austin. The goddess doesn’t want you to suffer. She wants all of her children to be happy.”

He was quiet again. The weight of his doubt was heavy in the room. I didn’t know what to do to fix this. So I prayed. I prayed to the goddess to show Austin’s mate how to find him. I prayed he would be healed by her love and that she wouldn’t let him reject her. Most of all, I prayed that he would find the happiness he deserved.

“I’m hungry,” he said quietly.

“I’ll go get your lunch. It will be cold. I’m sorry I can’t heat it for you, but I can’t reach the stovetop well enough to turn it on. Stay right here, I’ll go get it for you.”

Getting up, I headed to the kitchen. The bowl of meat was on the second shelf of the fridge and I gathered the tray, setting it on the rollaway island while I got the water for his drink and a fork from the drawer. I had the organization of the drawers memorized, but there were some braille tags in case I was spacing.

I took the tray into the bedroom and used my magic to help me place it properly on Austin’s lap. He paused for a moment.

“This is a spoon….”

With a blush, I used my magic to see the things on the tray. He was right. I gave him a spoon. It must have gotten put in the wrong slot in the drawer and I never thought to check. I always thought I was doing so well until something like this happened.

“Just a moment.”

In a rush, I headed back to the kitchen, then got a fork and double-checked before heading back to the bedroom. Austin was waiting patiently for me when I returned. I handed him the fork.

“Sorry about that, Austin. It was in the wrong slot. I’ll make sure Rock knows to keep an eye out for that when he’s putting the dishes away next time.”

“When I’m feeling well enough to stand, I’ll help around the house. That’s the only way I can think to pay you back. No one has ever done this for me before. I’m very grateful.”

“You don’t need to do that, Austin. The goddess wanted us to take you in and heal you.”

I thought he needed more than just physical healing, but we would start there. He needed a month before he would be well enough to go off on his own. It wasn’t a lot of time to help him, but I could give him the tools he needed to get there.

“Let me help. I feel useless and like a burden. Give me a chance to repay your kindness in the only way I can.”

“Eat. We can talk about this more once you’re able to stand. I want the seer who’s coming tonight to take a look at your leg. Seers in the fae lands are also healers. I think you’ll feel a lot better once we can get you back on your feet. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to go to the pack hospital, even if I promised you wouldn’t have to stay.”

“Wouldn’t the pack want to kill me if I went on their lands? I’m a rogue,” he asked in confusion.

“No. We have a pact with the Queen whose collective you just joined. She’s our ally and we’ve had rogues in our lands off and on since our Alpha formed the alliance. While she’s getting her stuff set up here, we’ve been helping out with things like medical needs for members of her collective. It will be a few more months before the collective’s clinic is up and running,” I explained.

“I see. You’re right, though. I’m not ready to deal with a pack yet.”

We chatted a little more while he ate. Austin talked about the things he enjoyed, keeping us on happier topics. I was glad he was talking so much. It meant he was comfortable with me. I was worried since he was so worried when he found out I was Beta blood.

There were more times that I needed to remind him that the way his pack worked wasn’t how other packs worked. I could see how their treatment of him warped his sense of what was right and wrong. I wished there was more that I could do to help. Unfortunately, I wasn’t strong enough to fight for these people.

When Austin started drifting, I took the tray and went to put it in the kitchen. I went to the bookshelf in the living room and picked out my favorite novel. I figured staying in the room with Austin would help him with his nightmares. He knew my scent and that I was a friend. That would come through even when he slept.

Going back to his room, I sat in the chair by his bed and opened my book. Laying it on my lap, I started feeling the words on the page. I loved this novel because the writer made the characters funny in a snarky sort of way. It always made me smile when I read it.

From time to time, I checked my watch to find out the time. Austin was sleeping a little restlessly, but he was sleeping. That was the most important thing.

A few hours passed when I heard Austin’s breathing change. He was awake again. I decided to let him have a few moments to collect himself before I checked in with him. If he needed to use the bathroom, I was ready to help him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Reading. Did you need any help?”

“You’re not looking at the book and those pages are blank. What are you really doing?”

I smiled and handed my book over to him. He accepted it and I sat back in my chair. I didn’t use my magic, because I would need it for my training tonight and I didn’t want to wear myself out.

“What are these bumps? It doesn’t make sense.”

“That’s called braille. It’s how blind humans read. I learned because I’m blind. My watch is the same. I can feel the time since I can’t see it,” I said.

“You’re blind? I’m sorry. I didn’t know. You helped me so much. I didn’t realize you couldn’t see. How did you even find me if you can’t see?”

“My wolf can see, but I can’t. She’s the one who found you. And I help because I can. Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t do anything else. My other senses are heightened and I use them and some magic from my fae blessing to get a sense of what’s around me,” I explained.

“Is that why you never have any lights on here? Is your mate blind, too?”

“No. Rock is a cave troll. He doesn’t need much light to be able to see. It really saves on electricity.” I laughed.

“Once I’m better, I’ll definitely help you more. I didn’t realize how much more work you needed to put in to take care of me. Please forgive me for being even more of a burden on you,” Austin said in a dejected tone.

“Stop that. If you were a burden, Rock and I would have told you. Trolls don’t mince words and they aren’t nice for the sake of others. I tend to be a little troll-like, even though I’m a werewolf. If you were trouble, I would tell you. Right now, all this is pissing me off. This isn’t your pack. I’m not one of your pack mates. And I am not helpless or weaker for being blind.

“What I need you to do, is rest, eat, and heal. Don’t worry about the future right now. Relax and let yourself be cared for. The only way you’re making anything harder on me is by making me worry about you. You won’t heal if you don’t relax. Understand?” I asked.

He chuckled a little. “No one has told me that me not relaxing was a problem before. I’ll try my best to relax. We can worry about what happens next when we get there. You know, you’re the nicest ranked blood wolf I’ve ever met.”

“You were raised around assholes. I’m not even trying my hardest here. This is me not trying to be nice, Austin. I can guarantee you, other ranked blood wolves are just as nice as me. They’d probably be all over you, catering to your every need and thoroughly annoying you. That would be too much pressure for you, though. You wouldn’t heal well in that environment.

“When you meet my friend Gemma, she’ll probably treat you the way I do. She’s the Gamma’s cousin, so she’ll be nicer by nature. I think you’ll like her. Gemma’s my best friend and she won’t take your talking back about mates and stuff lightly,” I told him.

“Noted. Can you help me to the bathroom?”

“Of course, I can.”

I helped him to and from the bathroom so he could take care of his business. Once he was tucked back in bed, I picked up my book and went back to the chair. Austin’s breathing didn’t change, though. He wasn’t sleeping.

“Not tired?” I asked.

“Will you read to me? I like your voice and I don’t have to think of responses if you’re reading. I know it’s a lot to ask. You don’t have to….”

I smiled. “I can read to you. I’ll go back to the beginning. This is one of my favorite stories, so I don’t mind.”

“Thank you, Carmen. Thank you for everything you’re doing for me,” he said and moved around until he was comfortable.

“It’s no problem at all, Austin. Close your eyes and I’ll start the story.”

I waited for a moment and started reading to him. Luckily, this wasn’t a particularly steamy book, but it was a romance, so there was a lot of lovey stuff in it. One chapter into the book, I heard Austin’s breathing change. I kept on reading aloud, though. Maybe it would influence his dreams and he’d sleep easier.