un sufficient love

lovers

When raya Tau thought about it, there were signs of this already a couple of months ago.

No, if he considers only the possibility of it happening, he could trace it back even further, to a few years ago.

The signs were there since the time his older brother was holed up on that damn island off the east coast of Africa.

However, raya Tau had been deliberately turning a blind eye, but in the end, the reality

came crashing in. In the form of his brother.

While he was neatly cutting the overgrown grass in the backyard that had grown lush over the summer and being subjected to Peter's strict checks a few times-he unexpectedly received a guest that day. The person who showed up without any notice was his older brother, who should have been in the hot desert land.

"Hyung?!"

Lifting the sickle and wiping the sweat from raya Tau forehead with his forearm, he

blinked in surprise at seeing raya Tau,who had suddenly appeared around the corner of the yard.

Following Kyle, who was cheerfully commenting on how truly beautifully aged the house is," raya Tau looked back at him and called out, "Tau

Throwing the sickle onto a sack of dirt, he approached him, puzzled, and felt the warmth of his embrace, realizing that he was truly here.

"What's going on? Suddenly?"

"Ah...just."

Not "just" at all.

That ambiguous "ah..." was slightly suspicious, given raya Tau usual way of speaking.

He would usually think things through calmly and then speak, and though he might speak

slowly, he rarely hesitated in his answers.

Maybe raya Tau picked up on the odd look on his face, as a strange expression briefly crossed his otherwise expressionless face. When he looked at Kyle with confusion, Kyle raised his eyebrows with a pleasant expression.

"About two hours ago, I suddenly got a call from Raya Tau. He said he had arrived at Tegel Airport and asked if he could stay for a few days. I gladly invited him. For the surprise, I didn't inform you beforehand. How about it? Surprised?"

"Yes, well..."

But if the contact was only two hours ago, it was probably a surprise for Kyle as well, he muttered, scratching his head.

Ignoring James, who was glaring at us with a bleak gaze while hugging his briefcase at the

entrance of the backyard, he quickly turned and said, "Let's go inside for now, Hyung. I'll

show you to the guest room. Kyle, you should change your clothes or...finish up with James."

Pushing Raya Tau gently, Raya Tau hurried into the house.

But such thoughts were forgotten while leading raya Tau to the guest room.

Raya Tau,who followed calmly with his usual expression, didn't have any luggage. It

seemed that all his belongings were in the outer pocket of his coat, where only the edge of his passport peeked out.

He was someone who didn't like to carry much from the start, but it looked as if he had been chased away without even having a chance to pack. Chased away...

"Hyung, were you chased out of there?"

After gathering a few clothes from Raya Tau's own wardrobe for him to change into, he casually asked Raya Tau,who was sitting leisurely on a den chair on the terrace attached to the room.

Raya Tau, shook his head, and he nodded, thinking

so.

The powerful Middle Eastern figure raya Tau had contracted with had used every means over several years to bring him into his organization. There was no way they would have kicked him out so soon after finally getting him settled in Riyadh.

"So what's going on, suddenly? No notice? A vacation?"

"Hmm, probably."

"Probably? Why is there a 'probably' attached to a vacation?"

"I said I'd take a few days off, but I didn't get a confirmation."

"What...?"

"Well, probably it'll be fine. They didn't say it was impossible."

Raya Tau lightly waved his hand as he spoke. Seeing his usual calm demeanor, raya tau felt uneasy.

Though he was always a bit unpredictable, suddenly showing up without any notice wasn't like him.

"Isn't there something going on?"

"Ah...not really."

Again, that ambiguous "ah..."

Raya Tau scratched his head and looked at him with uncertainty, but soon stopped his

thoughts with a light sigh.

If he had something to say, he would say it; if not, he

wouldn't. Besides, as always, if he had something to ponder or think about, he would quietly contemplate it and reach the best conclusion.

Moreover, it would be better to enjoy the rare visit with his brother than to hold him back

with unnecessary talk. Besides, more than anything,

"Raya Tau? About the hypothesis with Pablo Fibro we talked about earlier, I found that you were right. The 1879 edition proved it with different grounds than the first edition. It's clear that he must have realized the logical flaws in the first edition too late."

As Kyle entered the room with a large, cheerful voice, carefully holding a worn book, it seemed he would have to give up his brother for a while.

Well, it doesn't matter.

In this situation, Raya Tau knew it was wise to fully enjoy the short time with his brother and relish the moment. There's no one who is further from the word "worry" than his brother.

Worrying about that man born under a special star would be like worrying about the sky falling.

Just look at the timing of his appearance.

Ilay, who had been toying with his life half-jokingly and half-seriously, had left Berlin early that very morning, saying he would be away for a short-term job. It was a perfectly timed moment. It seemed inevitable that Ilay would return on the very day his brother left.

However, Raya Tau was grateful for the good fortune of not having those two in the same place and decided to enjoy the short reunion with his brother with peace of mind.

When he thought about it, when was the last time the siblings stayed together so leisurely

under one roof?

Even though Kyle often brought rare books and had discussions with Raya Tau, which sometimes made James's piercing gaze fly towards me, and even though Ilay had called late at night and kept a few seconds of ominous silence upon hearing Raya Tau's stay, in reality, the time we spent having cheerful conversations was much shorter than the time spent quietly in the same space.

A few days later, on a peaceful night, sitting next to Raya Tau,who was quietly lost in thought, and enjoying the cool beer while listening to the sound of insects, Raya Tau was incredibly satisfied.

"Tau."

When raya Tau, who had been silent for a while, quietly called his name, raya Tau responded drowsily with half-closed eyes,

"Hmm...?"

"Do you think a life with a lover is better than a life without one?"

However, when Raya Tau heard that quiet voice again, the serene and peaceful mood

vanished instantly, and his drowsiness was gone.

"Huh...? Well..."

'It would depend on the situation, but generally, I think it's better, Raya Tau muttered, looking at Raya Tau with a puzzled expression. It was a topic I had never heard from him before.

But Raya Tau continued to ask seriously.

"If the lover is someone with feelings that are more than just liking but also ambiguous, how much of those feelings do you think you have?"

"If you're asking if having a lover who you're not completely keen on is better, well...it

would depend on the person. If it's just a temporary arrangement until a good person comes along, I wouldn't recommend it, but if we're just talking about having or not having, then it seems better to have one."

Though he had never consciously thought about this, the answer came easily.

Relationships, no matter what kind, are better if they offer opportunities for intangible desirable things.

Moreover, sometimes a relationship, even if it's considered a second-best, might not be

entirely bad. Relationships and feelings always change, even if unseen.

For instance, in his own case, even though he found himself in a relationship with a man he would never have imagined as a romantic partner, it didn't start with him coming to him as the "ideal lover."

Definitely not.

Thinking back to when Raya Tau first met Ilay robin first heard rumors about him, or first saw his splatter movie-like record videos, he would never have predicted that we would have ended up in such a relationship.

Who would have imagined that he would end up with such a madman, let alone that the madman would be me?

Among the thoughts that kept arising, raya Tau shook his head quickly, feeling a sense of gloom. Then he refocused on raya Tau.

If his brother had a lover, it would be welcome. It would be very desirable to have a strong emotional support while living alone in a foreign place.

However,

"By the way...why are you asking about this? It's not a topic you'd bring up."

There was something bothering him. Even though he hoped it wasn't true, thinking of a

person he had encountered in the past, who had a similar demeanor, raya Tau couldn't shake the

shadow of worry in his mind. That person was even very close to Raya Tau at the moment.

In front of Raya Tau's gaze, which was fixed on Raya Tau with a penetrating stare, he was momentarily speechless. After seeming to ponder again, or perhaps feeling awkward, he slightly lowered his head and then quietly spoke.

"Rahman said he wants to be my lover."

Damn it. They say that "what you least expect often happens."

It seemed that the man had finally spoken. He must have discarded everything-religion,

face, common sense, and the past-and ultimately decided to speak up. Hearing such a straightforward response from someone who should be like an older brother, the vague concerns that had been lurking suddenly came right up to his face. Raya Tau asked after a brief pause.

"Are you joking?"

"Yes, I asked that too. But he said no."

"Then..."

"I also asked if it was for political reasons. He said no."

"Then I asked if it was for strategic reasons, but he said no to that as well."

It was highly unlikely that it was for economic reasons.

It seemed that Raya Tau had tried to think things through step by step. He put the simplest conclusion at the end. It would be normal to dismiss such serious questioning as a joke, but the problem was that he wasn't someone with that kind of blunt mind.

"So...?"

At the point where almost every possible assumption had been mentioned, Raya Tau asked Raya Tau again.

"So, after thinking a bit more, I asked if he wanted my genes, like sperm, but after a while, he said not even that."

When Raya Tau's calm answer came back, Raya Tau fell silent. Suddenly, he felt a bit sorry for the man. Clearly, the man must have been prepared for this, considering the atmosphere and situation, and chose the most appropriate moment to speak. But his intentions were being distorted in every possible way, even to a rather inhumane extent.

At the same time, Raya Tau could guess what countless people who had envied his older brother in the past must have wanted from him, and this brought a shiver to his heart as he imagined his older brother asking such questions with a calm face.

So, without realizing it, he blurted out something he didn't really want to say.

"Maybe it's just that he genuinely likes you."

Raya Tau seemed to be lost in thought again. But he couldn't possibly be unaware. If it were just intuition, that might be one thing, but having heard it in words...

"Yeah. Maybe that's it."

Eventually, raya Tau nodded and murmured, as if he were coming to a conclusion on a matter that had been difficult to judge.

Raya Tau glanced regretfully at the beer can he was holding, suddenly sober. He felt like he wouldn't be able to enjoy any more of it.

He was in a complex state of mind. Although it was ridiculous to say it this way while living

entangled with another man, he wished that his brother would follow a more conventional

path. People are unpredictable, but he knew that the likelihood of experiencing "ordinary and natural happiness" was infinitely greater in that way.

But...

Raya tau sighed as he stared at Raya Tau, who was seriously contemplating. If there were no room for doubt, he wouldn't have been pondering in the first place. He wouldn't have brought it up.

But the fact that there was room for doubt meant...

It strangely came to him with an unexpected sense of suspicion.

"So, what do you want to do?"

Even if he said it vaguely, his sharp brother would understand it clearly without any

confusion. His persistent and calm brother had an unexpected weakness for physical pain.

Perhaps because he had been sickly since childhood and often went to the hospital, or maybe because he rarely experienced pain caused by others in daily life, his brother hated pain more than raya Tau, who took minor pain lightly.

Sure enough, at that very moment, a new kind of worry appeared on his brother's face.

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course. It's not being used as intended, and the direction is also reversed, plus it's not the usual thickness you see every day in the toilet."

Although he felt that the topic was becoming a bit unpleasant, raya Tau finished speaking resolutely. After speaking, he realized that he had no way of knowing about the thickness, but it didn't matter, since his brother probably didn't know either...

"Ah, thickness... Right, Rahman, yes. It was a bit too much for a person. Besides, the volume increases when an adult man is aroused..."

Wait a minute, how does hyung know the size of that man?!

Feeling as if the alcohol had completely worn off and he had poured ice water over his head, Raya Tau widened his eyes, but his brother, who was muttering himself without noticing, was only making a puzzled and dark face, as if recalling some past memory.

Then, without giving Raya Tau a chance to ask anything, his brother looked at him with slightly more furrowed brows as if he remembered something.

"Raya Tau, are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"When you were with Rick...It looked like it wouldn't be intact."