my slytherin

feelings develop

The next day, I try to be as friendly with Malfoy as I possibly can during Charms class. Maybe if I’m nice, he’ll tell me what’s wrong.

       That, unfortunately, is easier said than done. Malfoy’s constantly laughing at me as I attempt to charm a quill to sprout legs and walk around the table.

       “It’s not working, periwel” he says, trying—and failing—to stop laughing. “Maybe you should let me do it. You know, save you the trouble.”

       “You’d do that for me?” I reply sarcastically. I flick my wand over and over at the quill in frustration. “That’s—very—sweet.”

       “Jeez, don’t poke someone’s eye out,” Malfoy smirks, reaching out his arm to stop my flailing wand. “I worry about you sometimes.”

       I finally give up and slide the stupid quill over to Malfoy, barely refraining from rolling my eyes. Why can’t I focus? Normally, Charms is the easiest class ever for me, but today I can’t do anything right. I watch as he reaches for his wand, and I say defiantly, “Well, you’re the one distracting me.”

       “I was not distracting you!” Malfoy retorts, positioning the quill in front of him.

       “Mmhm, sure,” I say as Malfoy mutters the enchantment. “You hate me so much that you want me to fail Charms.”

       “I don’t hate you.”

       Malfoy said it in passing, almost like it really didn’t mean anything. I look up and catch his eye at just the right moment, and it’s as though something shifts between us. Almost like we’re not complete enemies anymore, nor just classmates. Neither of us looks away for a few seconds, and I know Malfoy felt the change, too. It’s not until the quill flips upwards onto its new legs and runs straight into Malfoy’s arm do we look away from each other.

       Malfoy reaches down quickly to pull the quill away from his arm, grumbling about how I distracted him. I giggle softly as he rubs his arm, pretending that it hurt.

Maybe, I think to myself as I watch, Maybe this is what it’s like to be friends with Draco Malfoy.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

   It’s Friday today, and I’m feeling relieved that classes are over for this week. Malfoy sent me an owl earlier this morning, telling me that he could tutor me later in the afternoon.

       He helps me study for a little over two hours, to prepare for an upcoming Potions exam that I’m seriously dreading. Once we finish, I pack up my bag and turn to Malfoy to say goodbye.

       “Actually,” he smirks, “I’m going too. I have to talk to Trelawney about her stupid essay…”

       “Okay,” I laugh and exit the Room of Requirement with Malfoy close behind. This is the first time Malfoy and I have left together, and at first, I’m worried people will notice. But no one even gives us a glance as we turn into the only slightly crowded hallway, making me feel very relieved.

       We don’t talk as we climb the stairs up towards the Ravenclaw common room, which happens to be near the Divination classroom. I’m just thinking that we might actually make it without being noticed when I see Matt leaning up against a pillar about ten feet away, staring at us.

       Fuck, I think, my mood crashing instantly. How could I have been so stupid as to walk with Malfoy? It didn’t even cross my mind that Matt would see us. I look around frantically for some way to avoid him, but he’s standing in the hallway we need to pass through. Unfortunately, the hallway is nearly empty on this side of the school, so there’s no cover. Malfoy hasn’t even noticed what’s going on, but I’m silently freaking out.

       As we get closer to Matt, I calm myself down a bit by the thought that he probably won’t even say anything to me. Matt’s been ignoring me since before break, so why should he stop now, right? Wrong.

       We’re just passing him when I hear Matt say quietly, almost deadly, “What the hell are you playing at, rosae?”

       My legs turn to jelly, but I force myself to have an emotionless face as I turn to face him. I see, out of the corner of my eye, Malfoy slowing down beside me, debating whether or not to keep walking. Apparently, his curiosity gets the better of him, and he stands slightly behind me.

       “You ignored me,” I say, surprising even myself at how calm I sound

       Malfoy’s starting to look uncomfortable, then says quietly, “Um, maybe I should—“

       “I’ve seen it, rosae” Matt interrupts, staring at me unblinkingly.

       “Seen what?” I ask, actually wondering what the hell he’s talking about.

       “His Dark Mark.”

       There’s silence for a second, and I feel Malfoy tense up beside me. I blink several times, hoping this is just a dream, that this isn’t happening right now. My hands feel sweaty as I reply shakily, “Matt, stop it.“

       “I saw it!” Matt yells suddenly, uncrossing his arms and stepping closer in anger. His face looks slightly red as he points to Malfoy, “I saw the Dark Mark on his arm. He’s a Death Eater, rosae.”

       I take a step away despite my desire to stay strong, and I’m starting to lose whatever confidence I had earlier. It happens so fast, there’s absolutely nothing I can do. Malfoy reaches past me and punches Matt square in the jaw, sending him flying to the side. I stare down in shock as Matt hits the ground, Malfoy standing beside me and breathing heavily in anger.

       Matt glares up at Malfoy, wiping at the blood trickling from his split lip. I feel like throwing up as he turns to me, and I see the pure hatred in his eyes. I know that no matter what I say or do, Matt will never forgive me.

       Slowly, Malfoy takes my arm and gently pulls me away. The tears finally spill over as I blindly follow him. Malfoy walks faster and faster until we’re both running. I wipe frantically at my eyes, telling myself over and over there’s nothing to cry over, that I haven’t done anything wrong. When I open my eyes again, Malfoy’s slowing down and pulling me behind a small statue in a deserted hallway. It’s dark out now, so the glow of the torches illuminates his face as he leans closer to me.

Before I even know what’s happening, Malfoy’s pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around me tightly.

       I blink in confusion, letting a small gasp escape as he envelops me into a hug I never thought he was capable of. I’m too shocked to return the embrace, yet I can’t help but pick up on the scent of his skin. It reminds me of…rain.

       This snaps me back into reality, and I pull away suddenly. He doesn’t let go of my shoulders.

       “I—I have to ask you something,” I stammer quietly. I look down at the floor and feel almost embarrassed as I ask, “Are you…a Death Eater?”

      He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and I refuse to look at his face to see his reaction. Feeling guilty, I quickly stammered, “I know you’re not, I just—“

       Before I can finish, Malfoy tilts my head toward him with his hand and leans down. The last thing I think is, His breath smells like spearmint before his lips claim mine.

       For a moment, I’m too stunned to even react. But before I know it, or even realize it, I’m kissing him back. My mind seems to completely go blank, and I wind my arms around him, pulling him closer.

       His tongue is just finding its way into my mouth when I realize what I’m doing. My eyes fly open and I quickly pull away, breathing heavily. Malfoy stares down at me, looking almost as confused as I am. I push him away from me and force out, “I—I can’t do this.”

Then I turn on my heel and run as fast I possibly can.

am I falling for a Malfoy...

end of 4th year