Forced Cooperation Part 2
1167 Words
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
Accidental Buff Applied!
- Touch of Restoration - has temporarily become “Blade of Aggressive Bedside Manner”.
- Duration: 30 seconds.
(Inner thought) … Did I just invent combat steroids by misclicking my class?
(voice-over) Darius yelled, swinging like a man possessed, rats exploding around him. His HP bar was in the red, but his DPS was now chart-breaking. The party froze.
Selene (narrowed her eyes): ‘… Was that your intention from the beginning?’
(Kaien’s Pov) (shrugs) Yes. Totally intentional. All according to plan. Definitely not a fluke.
(Inner thought) Please buy it. Please buy it. If anyone calls me out, I’ll just sneeze myself into the respawn screen.
(voice-over) The fight raged on. Selene’s fireball lit up the cavern, searing half a dozen crawlers. Kaien, in the corner, was desperately trying not to sneeze.
(Inner thought) Don’t trigger Bug Bloom. Don’t trigger Bug Bloom. Last time, a sneeze crashed my boots, and I had to run barefoot for three hours. My toes still remember the trauma.
(voice-over) Of course, fate is cruel.
A... Ahh... ACHOO! (sneeze)
POP (sound effect)
SYSTEM: ‘Bug Bloom - Activated. You have killed crawlers + 3.’
SYSTEM: ‘You have gained +11 EXP.’
SYSTEM: ‘Bug Bloom - Side effect triggered. Minor Mana Potion has been deleted from your inventory.’
…Great. My health bar survives, but my wallet dies.
…I hate this system. If this keeps happening, my inventory won’t have any value. Whatever I store keeps getting deleted due to this passive skill.
(voice-over) Another crawler lunged at him.
(reflexively) “Heal” (half-cast)
BOOOOM (sound effect)
(Inner thought) Huh. Okay, accidental floral landmines. That… works? I should start charging per explosion. “Professional landscaper: will plant flowers that kill.”
(voice-over) The party didn’t even have time to argue as the swarm broke against them like a glitching tide.
(Kaien’s Pov) (Inner monologue) From there, it was a blur:
- Torren swung too wide and clipped my shoulder. Normally, friendly fire was off. Normally. My bugged passive flipped the setting somehow, and I took damage.
- Lyra aimed for a rat, but my Error Pulse distortion bent her arrow midair, sending it ricocheting into a a chunk of rock from the ceiling, which collapsed on more rats. Effective? Yes. Intentional? Not at all.
- Selene’s spell fizzled when my aura flickered too close, transforming her carefully aimed Ice Lance into… confetti. Literal confetti.
[T/N: Confetti means small pieces of paper, foil, or glitter that people throw into the air during celebrations like weddings, parties, or parades.]
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
Achievement Unlocked: [Birthday Party m******e]
- Description: Turned a lethal spell into children’s entertainment.
- Effect: +5 Party Confusion.
(Inner thought) Kill me now. Actually, no... don’t. With my luck, I’d respawn as a bugged janitor.
[T/N: Another way of saying - ‘Even dying won’t free him, the system will still find a way to screw him over’]
(voice-over) When the dust finally settled, twitching insect corpses littered the cavern floor.
SYSTEM: ‘Ambush Cleared. Rewards will be distributed.’
SYSTEM: ‘You will be teleported to the next wave in 29:59 minutes’
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
Reward: All stats increased by +2 & bonus EXP.
(voice-over) Everyone panted, dripping sweat, armor scuffed. Then, slowly, four sets of eyes turned toward Kaien. Darius’s expression was unreadable behind his helmet. Torren grumbled, singed beard smoldering. Lyra glared like she’d like to test an arrow right between his eyes. Selene just… studied him.
(Kaien’s Pov) (Inner thought) Oh no. They’re staring so hard it’s like they’re about to laser-beam me into submission. This is it. They’re going to kick me. Or worse, they’ll let me stay but use me as portable landmine bait.
Darius: ‘…Chaotic. Unstable. Utterly ridiculous.’
(Kaien’s Pov) (inner thought) Here it comes. (gulp) My throat is getting dry. What will it be? Kick? Boot? I might have to consider how to play solo from now on.
Darius: (tilts) ‘Although it was catastrophic, but it was effective in its own way.’
Torren: ‘Aye. Like handing a drunk goblin a fireball. Dangerous, but gets the job done.’ (laughs)
Lyra: ‘This is insanity. Pure, unfiltered insanity.’ (groans)
Selene: (smirks) ‘And yet… we survived. Which is more than I expected after watching him as he launched the other party’s swordsman into a wall.’
SYSTEM: ‘Party Interest Level +20’
SYSTEM: ‘Chance of being immediately kicked decreased to: 23%’
(Kaien’s Pov) …Oh. Progress?
Darius (extending gauntleted hand): ‘Welcome to the party, Kaien. Try not to kill us.’
(Kaien’s Pov) (blinks) … No promises. (shakes hand)
Darius: ‘Okay, everyone. We have only got half an hour. Let's take a rest, recover our health and then regroup. We need to be prepared for the second wave.’
Torren dropped his axe and plopped down on a rock. He brushed at the charred edges.
Torren: ‘Aye, before I lose the other half of my beard.’ (glares)
(voice-over) Lyra leaned against the wall; bowstring stretched between her fingers. She still hadn’t stopped glaring at Kaien either.
(Kaien’s Pov) (Inner thought) Honestly, if stares could do damage, I would have been dead three times over.
(voice-over) On the other hand, Selene just sat cross-legged, eyes narrowed in thought.
(Kaien’s Pov) (Inner thought) She is studying me again. Like she is dissecting my code with her gaze. Great. Exactly what I need. One ally, one skeptic, one insulted dwarf, and one knight who thinks I’m a goblin juggling grenades.
(mutters) I will just sit down and pretend to meditate. “Status open”.
[STATUS WINDOW]
Name: Kaien Rook
Class: Healer (Bugged)
Level: 4
XP: 145 / 240
HP: 340 / 340
MP: 170 / 170
Stats (+2)
STR: 13
VIT: 16
INT: 28
WIS: 26
AGI: 15
LCK: ???
Passive Skills:
- Invert Output
- Bug Bloom
Active Skills:
- Error Pulse Lv.2
- Touch of Restoration Lv.2 (bugged buff mode possible)
- Bugged Skill (Dormant)
(Inner thought) Let's see inventory losses so far - one health potion, one sandwich, three copper coins, and… I think a sock. Now I only have right foot sock from the pair. This passive isn’t just broken... it’s petty.
POP (sound effect)
SYSTEM: ‘Bug Bloom - Activated. Nearby insect (tiny) has died. +1 EXP.’
SYSTEM: ‘Bug Bloom - Side Effect triggered. “Torch” deleted from inventory.’
… Does anyone have a spare torch? (Carefully)
Altogether: (groans)
(voice-over) During the 30-Minute Prep, everyone just sat. Selene recharged mana. Lyra making arrows. Torren chewed on something that might’ve once been meat.
(Kaien’s Pov) (Inner monologue) Me? I debated whether sneezing again would delete my boots or the ground under us. Both seemed possible.
Darius: ‘Kaien.’
(Kaien’s Pov) (jumps) Yes, Captain Chaos-Insurance?
Darius: ‘… Stay behind me when the next wave starts. Focus on support. No wild experiments.’
(Inner thought) That’s like telling fire not to be hot, but sure, boss.
[SYSTEM WARNING]
Next Wave: Incoming
Difficulty: Increased
- Writer
