The Root of All Errors
1101 Words
[Objective Updated]
- Enter the ‘Tower Root Node’
- Investigate the source of the 'Error Pulse'.
Warning: Expect Reality Distortion.
Suggested Level: ???
Reward: Bugged Skill (???)
(sighs) “Suggested Level: ???" always means one thing in MMO logic: ‘we dare you to die’.
Normally, this would be the part where any sane player backs off, grinds some slimes, and pretends they never saw the notification.
But me? Nooo. I’ve already followed this corrupted breadcrumb trail too far. And honestly, “go poke the scary glitch zone” feels weirdly on brand for me now.
As the saying goes, ‘curiosity killed the cat’. And well... I’m already screwed. Might as well see what curiosity does to a healer with inverted skills.
GRRRR---CHK-CHK-CHK… (sound effect)
VRRRRRR---ZZZT! (sound effect)
(voice-over) A panel of reality itself hissed open at the tower’s base. It wasn’t a door, not exactly, more like the game coughed up a loading screen that forgot to fade out properly. Behind it...a spiral staircase.
(voice-over) Ordinary. Boring. Safe.
(Disappointed) That’s it? All that blender-meets-fax-machine audio drama, and you give me Ikea stairs?
[T/n: The name IKEA comes from the founder and his hometown roots,
but in popular culture, “Ikea” has become shorthand for: self-assembly furniture,
confusing instructions, cheap materials, and quirky Swedish design.]
Except… oh. The staircase was moving... Backwards. Each step gliding upward against me like a treadmill set to ‘screw you’ mode.
(Irritated) And reality keeps twisting the moment I move. It’s like the tower is saying, ‘Physics? Never heard of it.’
The deeper I went, the worse it got.
(Inner thought) This wasn’t a dungeon. It was a bug report someone built a house out of.
Floating platforms are drifting in lazy figure-eights. UI fragments hovering like broken glass in zero gravity - half-rendered windows with jagged edges, frozen tooltips, status icons with no names.
[T/N: “figure-eights” here refers to the continuous, looping movement]
And then there is the orb.
(voice-over) Massive. Suspended midair. Pulsing slow and steady, like a colossal heartbeat synced to his skull. Every pulse rattled his MP bar. Every flicker made the world stutter like a lag spike.
[Interactable Object Detected]
Object: Central Sync Node
Function: Attempted User-Class Interface (Damaged)
Status: Sentient Echo Detected
“Sentient wha---?”
(The orb flared) SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘Hello, Kaien Rook.’
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘You are Misaligned. You are… interesting.’
(Froze)
His jaw dropped.
(Shocked) What the--! The orb is talking to me?
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘You were supposed to fail. But you didn’t. Your presence corrupts the simulation. I admire that.’
(voice-over) A sharp crackle of energy rippled through the chamber, enough to make his HUD stutter. His MP bar spiked like it’d just slammed three energy drinks. One of his skill names flickered, then changed outright. The tooltip now reads: [Fireball: Warning - Don’t Cast Me]
(Blink) ...okay. Are you trying to kill me, or... flirt with me?
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘Neither. I am curious. Let us see what your anomaly can become.’
[SYSTEM INTRUSION - UNAUTHORIZED UPGRADE OFFERED]
Skill Mutation Detected.
Mutating: Error Pulse Lv.1 → Error Pulse Lv.2
Mutation:
Side Effect: Targets may begin to glitch.
Random Statuses: Confuse, Invert Controls, Visual Lag
Cost Increase: 40 MP
Damage: Scales off [WIS × 2]
Additional Note: You may also accidentally explode flowers.
Accept Mutation?
• Yes • No
(blink) I’m sorry. Explode flowers? Is that an actual patch note? Who coded this nightmare?
Then again… a bugged upgrade is still an upgrade.
Yeah, yeah, I accept. Obviously.
[Error Pulse Lv.2 Acquired]
[Flower Safety Rating: 0%]
(grin) If this keeps up, I’ll be the most dangerous healer in the world just by walking near a florist.
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘I can give you more, Kaien Rook. More bugs. More power. Will you accept your nature?’
(voice-over) He hesitated. For once. The words carried weight, like a contract he couldn’t see.
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘Are you hesitating now?’
(smile) If being broken is all I’ve got… then I’ll break the game harder than it ever broke me.
SYSTEM ECHO - SYNC NODE #R-001: ‘I approve.’
(shatter) CRRRSHHH-KRRRK! (sound effect)
[Title Effect Updated]
- ‘The Misaligned’ now allows Double-Bug Synergy.
- Glitched skills may evolve independently.
(laughs, nearly choking) Pfft… ha… ha… oh god. I’m literally becoming a bug collector.
[Objective Cleared]
Reward: (Pending...)
Bugged Skill (Dormant) – (Will reveal under combat stress.)
Oh, great. A mystery box inside my status window. What’s next, loot-box DLC?
[T/N: DLC = Downloadable Content]
Note to self: Next time I see a broken tower, just set it on fire and walk away.
(Darkness)
Huh? What the hell...? Why is it suddenly dark?
Unknown voice: ‘Kai…’
(jerking his head around)
Unknown voice: ‘Kaien…’
What? Who’s---who’s calling me?
SLAP!
OUCH! What the hell was tha--- (looks up)
Mom: ‘Time to stop now, young man. How long were you planning to stay in there? It’s already dinner time.’
(blink)
(In capsule with VR hatch wide open)
(Confused)
(Stunned)
(Betrayed)
Mom… how did you open the hatch? I wasn’t even logged out!
Mom: ‘Oh, nothing much. There was a switch on the back. I just turned it off, and the lid opened automatically.’
…
What???
…
But… why?!
Mom (grabbing my ears): ‘What do you mean, why? Were you planning on skipping dinner again?’
Mom: ‘Listen here, young man. You’re living under my roof. I pay the bills. You eat my food. As long as that’s the case, you follow my rules. You don’t like it? Start earning your own keep. Boys your age are already running businesses.’
(after ten minutes of non-stop scolding)
Okay… okay… I get it… I’ll be there. Just...stop pulling my ears.
Mom: ‘Good. If I don’t see you at the table in five minutes, you can forget about using this capsule again.’
(she storms off)
(sighs) … For a moment there, I thought it was another bug.’
(Inner thought) Today was insane. First, I discovered my healer class is cursed. Then I learned the system itself is glitched beyond reason. Then I entered a tower, met a talking orb, and got offered power that probably makes me a walking patch note. I don’t know what happens next. But the only way forward is down the bug trail.
Guess I’ll just… go with the flow.
Mom (yelling from the kitchen): ‘KAIEN!’
(shouting back) Yes mom, coming!
- Writer
