Hard Kisses: Dark & Dirty

5. Gavin-2

As soon as I walk in, I see him. Jaws, waiting in our usual spot with his usual mountain of Rainbow Sherbet.

While I head for the end of the long cash line, Jaws gives me a glinting grin.

In the line ahead of me, two ponytailed girls’ stares slide from my incongruous friend to equally incongruous me.

I smirk.

Being an albino, I got used to people’s stares around the age of five. But as far as Jaws is concerned, I always forget how striking a figure the crazy bastard is. Especially in a pinky family-friendly establishment like Baskin Robbins of all places.

Toothpick-skinny with glued-on looking muscles, Jaws is basically a cross between an action figure and a crack addict.

The forest of gelled spikes on his head probably doesn’t help. All this, with sea green eyes, virtually no lips and a mouthful of braces, makes for an interesting time with any potential clients.

I throw another look back at Jaws, who’s now entirely immersed in ice cream ecstasy. From here, the bulk of the gun in his jean pocket is still visible.

Yeah, he may look like a Dragon Ball Z character, but Jaws is the best there is.

By the time I make it back there with my cone of Very Berry Strawberry, Jaws is all finished his Rainbow Sherbet and ready to talk business.

“So,” he says, smoothing out his rainbow-smeared napkin on the table, “the Piccolos.”

I nod, and through a strawberry spoonful, repeat, “The Piccolos.”

He picks up the napkin and speaks to it, “So they stole another shipment, right up under our noses. Turns out they bought out Kyle a few months back.”

I take an extra big bite, glaring at the napkin myself.

“That bastard.”

Jaws shrugs, throws the napkin into a sweeping gesture of dismissal.

“That’ll be water under the bridge when you hear what I’ve got planned.”

I lean in.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, we want to completely put them down, right?”

I shrug, avoid his eager gaze. His excitement is contagious. And dangerous.

“I don’t know man. I think we should just hit the Piccolos back harder. Steal their next shipment. Maybe take out a few of them while we’re at it. So they get that we’re not ones to be trifled with. So they back off.”

I shake my head, continue, “I’m not sure I want a full-out war. Not yet.”

Jaws nods, then shakes his head.

“I don’t know, Boss. You remember how they responded to trying to talk it out.”

He self-consciously scratches at his neck, at the angry gash from the last of those talks.

I stab my spoon into the soft body of strawberry with an added vigor.

Ah yes, I remember all too well.

How we’d finally gotten them to agree to a sit-down. How we were going to divvy up areas, girls, stop the feud, figure out a win-win solution. How they tricked us, decided they’d use all of us as target practice instead.

They’d apparently changed their minds last minute, decided they’d rather use Jaws and his men as target practice instead.

I inhale, then exhale.

Letting my temper get the best of me could be fatal. An all-out war would be bloody, and I don’t want to put my family and friends in any more danger than I have to.

Jaws folds his napkin slowly, studiously. Once it’s as small as it can get, he says, “Just hear me out, ok?”

I nod, and he continues, “So I’m thinking – I’m thinking we won’t get many chances when they’re caught unawares, surprised. I’m thinking we throw them for a complete loop, you got me?”

I nod, and he continues, “Problem is the whole clan sticks to that big old house like it’s their jail. Not to mention we don’t even know what kind of fish we’re dealing with as far as Torrie Piccolo goes.”

I frown.

“Still no word on who he is?”

Jaws shakes his head.

“Nope. He’s as good as a ghost, and our sources can’t get s**t on him.”

I shrug, and he continues, “So we need a time when they’re separated – when we can hit them where it hurts. So hard that they won’t be able to get back up again, yeah?”

I take a big spoonful to hide my smile. I like where this is going, but I’m not about to change my mind.

“So, I’m thinking – big old Papa Piccolo’s getting pretty long in the tooth. There’s been more doctors in and out of there than girls in your bed.”

I punch his arm.

“I’ve been slowing down, you know.”

Jaws gives another glinty grin and waves the napkin again.

“Be that as it may, main thing is – the evil old bastard is dying. It’s only a matter of time before he croaks entirely.”

“So?” I say, “And then Torrie Piccolo steps up as the official head of the family. Torrie Piccolo – the guy who could be anyone for as much as we know about how he looks. How does the old guy dying help us?”

Jaws is unfolding the napkin.

“So, I’m thinking, when the whole sad Piccolo family is at the very sad funeral boohooing over Papa Piccolo, that’s when we do it. That’s when we strike.”

I grin, but Jaws is focused on the napkin, unfolding parts and refolding others.

“We blow up their house. Then we wait nearby and shoot a few coming home in the chaos. Maybe even take out Torrie Piccolo himself if we’re lucky.”

Jaws lifts the napkin, which he has somehow folded into the shape of a person. His gaze flicking to mine, his smirk spreading over his face, in one rapid motion he rips it in half.

As the severed halves fall to the table, I punch Jaws on the arm again.

“f**k you’re good.”

His brace grin still wide, Jaws rises.

“This calls for another Rainbow Sherbet.”

He goes to the now lineless front counter, and returns a minute later with what looks like four scoops.

“I’m hungry,” he tells my stupefied look.

Then, taking a big bite, he adds, “You know they have Baskin Robbins PJ shorts for chicks now, yeah?”

I take a final bite of my own, shake my head.

“No way.”

He nods.

“Yeah way, they have ones for Cherries Jubilee, Orange Cheesecake. I’m gonna get Tinsley to wear the Rainbow Sherbet ones for my birthday.”

“Jesus Jaws,” I say, laughing.

I’m not sure if I’m amused or weirded out by the image of his Rosie O’Donnell-esque girlfriend decked out in Rainbow Sherbet boxers.

After a particularly big bite, Jaws shoots me a significant sidelong look.

I shake my head.

“I don’t know man. I’m still not sold on this plan of yours. I want to send the Piccolos a message they won’t soon forget, but I feel like that might be going too far. They have allies of their own too.”

But Jaws can see the excitement in my face even as I deny him.

He grins orangey pink teeth back then, not missing a beat, adds, “Well Boss, you still have some time to decide. I give the old man three weeks, tops. Three weeks and, if we go with the plan, we’re gonna have a monopoly on the trafficking business. Three weeks and we’re gonna be as good as Gods.”