For the love I bear you..

A confession and a request

With our little introduction complete, we got a new routine. We would talk at lunch and I found he was actually a very open person and  it was strange that he didn't seem to have many friends at school. He wasn't bad looking so I figured it must be something personal. He was funny too and I didn't mind his company as much as I thought I would.  We went bowling every Friday and of course he beat me most times. I blamed his better sense of balance since I was generally a clutch. He made fun of my puny arm muscles and he was probably right about that too. Books don't whey much and they were probably the extent of my exercise regime haha.

We were becoming fast friends and I soon  found out why he didn't have many friends. It went like this:

He was walking me home after we went bowling and having beaten me. Again. We were almost past the local park when he started speaking. "so, you have probably been wondering why someone who has lived in this town all his life doesn't  have any friends?" I shrug my shoulders. " I just figured you would tell me wen your good and ready. Besides, I know such things can be a sensitive subject to anyone."  He glances up and gives me a wry smile.  With those soft doe eyes i could almost feel my heart stutter. Almost. He was really cute when he smiled. "I should have know you would say that. Anyway...my mom she...died two years ago. It devastated me and my dad to the point that we had totally withdrawn from the world, so wrapped up in our grief. There were weeks that we didn't even speak to each other, we were shells of ourselves. My friends at the time understood that i needed time to lessen the pain of my moms...passing" I glanced at him and it looked like he was trying to force the grief back down his throat. We had slowed our pace while he was speaking and i noticed a bench to the left. I quietly sat down, knowing he would follow. I kept my mouth shut, knowing that he needed to talk to someone. We had become such good friends these past couple of months, i had learned much from Simon. He made me feel at ease, more confident about my ability to connect with people.

By this time Simon had gained his composure and he went on. " I guess grief makes for somewhat boring company, at least that is what my friends told me when they left. My girlfriend Sammy had lasted longer but she too left eventually, telling me of all the things she missed out on while sitting with me at home." He gave a self deprecating smirk. "Can't say i blame her really, i was a mess... Since then i have gotten a lot better, but it still comes back sometimes..." He looked at me then, and i could see the the tears he held back in his big expressive eyes. "That day you asked  me if you could sit at the table was one of those times, and my ex had been snogging one of my ex friends that morning too..."  I could see his anger replace his grief in an instant.

"I am very sorry that your year had to start so crappy." I reached out my hand and for the first time since our friendship began, I touched him. I placed a comforting hand on his arm and said. "As footnote, your relationship was probably not meant to last anyway. Better to have gotten out of it early than many years later. Think of how much time would have been wasted." He looks at me with humor in his eyes and I'm relieved to see it. "I don't think i would have married her, I haven't thought about that yet, were like 17, we have our whole lives ahead of us." "Your right I guess." He lifts his brow. " You don't agree?" "I didn't say that." With that i stand up and start walking homewards again. He quickly follows but i can hear the smile in his voice when he says, " I think you i know you good enough by now to know when you think I'm missing something." I give him a small smile. "Why don't you think about what it is and we can talk about it later." He laughs at that. "You know sometimes i think there is a councilor hiding in that tiny frame of yours." I punch his arm. "Very funny Si."

Just when i think all the serious talk is over, he suddenly grabs my arm and I shoot him a questioning glance. " So  now that I have told you about my...history. I have one huge favor to ask you." I turn my whole body towards him and lift my eyes to his, giving him my full attention. I can hear from the tone of his voice that this is important. "Sure you can ask, and if it is possible i will help you how i can, just understand, no funny stuff and I'm not talking about haha funny." He blushes deeply. "Ugh no it's nothing like that. Your my best friend and i will never do something that will hurt you." He takes another deep breath and continues. "I...I wanted to ask if i could give you hugs and sit next to you at lunch. Since mom died i haven't... I just want to feel... Damn I don't know how to phrase this..." "It's alright Si." I interrupt him, i could understand needing physical affection. "As long as you keep it in the friend zone or I'll deck you, puny arms or no." "I promise Bell, I wont take advantage of you." With that agreement I pull him into an awkward hug and i could practically feel him basking in the moment. I could feel myself relaxing into the hug too after a few seconds, who knew having someone so close could be so comforting.