Exuviate

Exuviate Chapter 3

“Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let them resolutely pursue a solitary course.” Verse 61 Dhammapada (483 BCE) Gautama Buddha

Jin's head felt groggy, the first thing he noticed was the soft embrace of a pillow. He kept his eyes shut and his head felt like it would explode if he opened them.

He took the time to sift through what memories he could. Last thing he remembered was a smile and a joke with Mr. Raven and he woke up here. Where was here?, he wondered, and curiosity forced him to open his eyes.

White walls, white bed sheets, Jin's face fell as realization dawned, he'd been poked and prodded at enough to recognize a school’s infirmary when he saw one. Blazes, he muttered to himself as he discovered a mirror in the room and the ghastly reflection it held. His lean five-foot-ten-inch frame looked absolutely ragged, his eyes had shifted from their usual deep brown to a red-tinged amber.

Even his melanated skin looked a great deal paler.

"You're finally awake,kiddo?" The room door opened to reveal a very worried-looking Loriel.

Jin groaned as the very last person he wanted to see in his current state stood at the door with a sympathetic smile.

"What happened?" He asked to head off any probing questions while he tried to gather his memory.

His head still felt like he was swimming through a dense viscous liquid.

"According to Mr. Raven, one moment you guys were talking and the next moment you're on the floor screaming and then you fainted." She stared at him waiting for him to fill in the missing parts.

Blazes! What was wrong with me? He was usually so careful about managing lie-pains, he wasn't even sure if it was a lie-pain that incapacitated him.

He was about to answer when he saw the school physician approaching them at a brisk pace so easily identified by the tools of her trade. The short rotund woman with fair skin held the clipboard like a clutch as she barreled into the room.

“How long have you been awake? How do you feel?” She asked even as her hands started taking his vitals.

“Follow my fingers, now close the left eye….now the right.”

He happily obliged, grateful for the change of the topic. Jin even asked jokingly, "So what's wrong with me doc?"

"Physically, there is nothing wrong with you besides that strange ocular phenomenon. I have never seen eyes change color like that in my life, but your vision seems fine. Honestly, if I had to guess, I would think this was some form of extreme migraine but I'd need a CT scan to be sure."

Jin groaned again, "Can we not? Can't we just go with migraine?"

"I am still writing the recommendation for the CT scan but I won't force it on you. However, I will still prescribe a powerful painkiller, only take one per day as the pain dictates" The doctor tore off the top two pages of the clipboard and handed it to him before leaving the room.

An awkward silence descended on the room in his absence. He could almost physically feel the gaze burning into him and he took a breath to steel himself.

"So I'm guessing you still have that story for me,right?" Loriel's eyes bore into his own. Her obvious beauty aside, Jin was flabbergasted by the sympathy she saw in her eyes. Why did she look at him that way? They had known each other less than twenty-four hours, yet he could feel the connection growing between them.

"Okay, do I have something on my face now?" He laughed, attempting to lighten the mood, but she was unfazed.

"I'm listening" The previous curious scientist, now wholly replaced by a stern judge.

He knew if he didn't answer her honestly their budding friendship would never be the same. After all, what was a friendship based on lies? Loriel was taciturn enough not to pressure him at school in front of others, but now they were alone with four walls the only witness.

Jin took a deep breath, “Honestly, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Start anywhere. I won’t say a word” as she took a seat on the bed next to him.

“Ever since I can remember lies hurt,” Jin began to explain, unsure how to proceed but knowing that lies weren’t an option, “and I don’t mean in the metaphorical sense. It actually causes me a significant amount of pain to lie and, since half the time people don’t want the whole truth, every single time I talk to somebody I have to be very careful. I mean I’m better now. I can usually go an entire day with only one or two episodes. I call them Lie Pains, creative I know, but I’ve had them since I was like five and the name just sort of stuck.”

“Lie Pains?” Loriel muttered “Wait, where does it hurt when you lie?”

“If I said my soul nobody would believe me, but what else could it be when literally every vein in your body feels like exploding?” The honesty was apparent in his body language; he looked like a balloon deflating every time he forced the words out.

“Ahhh! So is that what happened in class today? What did you lie about?” Jin’s mind had already deduced the reason for the second Lie Pain so he explained it to her, “Remember when I said I know something that the professor doesn’t? Do you remember how I paused after? That's something I learnt last year. I can use Lie-Pains to my advantage to some extent. When I told you that, I braced myself since if that statement was false, a Lie-Pain would immediately come. However,as no Lie-Pain happened, I felt confident that I could go be the hero of the class”, he said with a bitter smile.

“So, while everything else may have been true, apparently not all the pharaohs were Ascendants, some certainly were, but not all.”

Loriel gasped,“Hold up! Are you serious? Jin, this is amazing!! Do you know what you could do with this?” Her enthusiasm sparked, and he could tell at a glance that the scientist was once again in the driver’s seat. He marvelled at how easily her face changed, at how expressive it was, how her eyebrows furrowed when she was in thought or her nose flared in delight. That's why it was so easy for him to realize it had changed again. She looked at him with something dangerously close to pity, “Wait, is that why you blacked out? Its that bad?”

“I don’t know what happened,”he paused. She could almost see him tensing every muscle in his body bracing before relaxing in obvious relief as he continued “One minute I’m laughing, next minute I’m wondering why I’m in an infirmary.”

“Actually, don’t think about it too much because what if you trigger it again?” Her concern squashing her curiosity easily, Jin smiled

“Yes Ma’am. So where to now?” he asked, suddenly excited at the prospect of more classes.

“Home for me, before I have to face an Inquisition of my own,” she replied, glancing at her watch before taking his hand. “Jin?” “Loriel?”he replied, utterly confused by her actions.

“Thank you.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as she exited the room, leaving him staring at the door longingly. Jin wondered briefly if this was how moths feel after the flame dies.

He could feel her absence like a physical thing, the coldness of the infirmary having finally pierced his clothes as if it were eagerly waiting for the fire to recede. He just continued looking at the door like a lost puppy before he shook his head and took a glance at his watch. It was after five pm, so that meant Jin would already miss out on supper by the time he arrived at the orphanage, which started promptly at six.

"The light is order, we show our devotion each time we are on time" Jin grumbled to himself, mimicking the nasal voice of the matron reciting the Edicts in his head, as he scrambled to start his long trek home to the orphanage. He didn’t bother to go to the bus stop as he knew he had already missed the four pm bus and the next bus wasn’t scheduled until six. And truthfully, if he was being honest with himself, he enjoyed walking past the Oak Trees that immediately surrounded the school.

He loved walking along the nearby footpath, his own personal shortcut, through Olive Natural Park to get to Chromatic Village’s Pride and Joy, the Chromatic Orphanage. However, this time, with his mind acting like some broken Pre-Exuviation media device, infinitely repeating the events of the day, he found himself lost in his own thoughts, sparing nary a glance at the natural wonders on full display. All too soon he saw the white wrought iron gates of Chromatic Orphanage looming over him, the color invoked by the name an easy prey for the cold aggressiveness of highly reflective pearl white. He couldn’t help but shudder as he raised his eyes up to the sprawling complex that was his prison for the last ten years. He could see the lights on in the main hall, which meant that supper had already started. There was nothing to gain by going in there now save ridicule, so he went straight to the dormitory, a prisoner of his own thoughts.

He thought of everything that happened, of all the things that he should have said in their conversations, but most of all he thought of her. He had never told somebody his story and had them believe him. He was so accustomed to skepticism and constant criticism and even baseless accusations that her calm acceptance was akin to that illuminating sunrise after a long night.

Jin glanced at the mirror at the head of his bunk bed and noticed the smile on his face, clearly any thought of food forgotten. The inevitable hunger pangs were simply old friends who he no longer had time for as he thought of all the other things he wished he had told her. He couldn’t wait to see how she’d react to some of his stories, her expressive face a lottery he was excited to gamble on. He laughed as he thought of how her nose flared when he guessed her whole backstory correctly.

The one spot of darkness on an otherwise portraitful day was Mr. Raven, as Jin knew this time, his teacher wouldn’t settle for half truths. Yet Jin couldn’t stave off the elation from swelling within, it was going to be an exciting school term. He stared up at the grey ceilings of the dormitory as if seeing them for the first time. Had they always been so bright? He had to fight the urge to not write down all of the things he wanted to tell Loriel, torn between not scaring her off and not being too distant. If her interest in him was an experiment or a curiosity, then by the Light he’d strive to remain a curiosity to keep her attention.

He mentally told himself to reserve a few stories to keep her guessing. In this manner, he kept himself occupied long after lights out, entertaining himself with various scenarios, and so, when sleep snuck its feathery hand over his eyes, and dreams arrested his mind; there would be only one destination for his subconscious. That night he dreamed about her, a stunning vision to behold dressed in the startling white of the Inquisition holding an anathema. Smiling even as she walked towards him and slowly pierced his heart,