Hostile Takeover

Chapter Eleven

The big-eyed flamingo was the only outlandish object in the office, always put him off. Its awkward colors, weird eyes and its nonproportional shape.

‘It’s one of my daughter’s.’ Dr. Isudik spoke.

‘Pardon?’ Arista replied.

‘The stuffed animal, I’ve noticed you stare at it in every session.’

‘Oh! How old? Your daughter not the stuffed animal,’ Arista asked.

‘Eighteen, I should have said, was one of my daughter’s, when she was much younger. She’s in college now in the US, the flamingo makes me feel closer to her.’

‘I see.’

‘You haven’t answered the question, Arista.’

‘Well, it’s obvious, I couldn’t process things properly. Instead, I suppressed them, so they suffocated me, flooded my mental state and that’s when it happened.’ Arista replied.

‘That’s when what happened? You need to say it, the whole point of this is to unload, speak things out?’ The Doctor said.

‘I’m sorry Doc can you by any chance put it away please? It’s creeping me out.’

‘Of course.’

Dr. Isudik rose and hid the flamingo out of sight.

‘Better?’ he asked.

‘Yes, thank you.’

‘And Arista, you can call me Isudik,’ he said.

‘I don’t think that portrays respect Doc.’ Arista argued.

‘Well neither does Doc,’ he said smiling.

‘Dr. Isudik then,’ Arista replied, smiling a little himself.

‘Continue.’

‘Okay, that’s when I started feeling heavy, my head literally felt heavy, my neck stressed like it was struggling to hold my head in position.’

Dr. Isudik was scribbling in his notebook.

‘All I wanted was some peace and quiet, some relief, but everyone insisted on crowding me with condolences and desperate attempts at brightening my mood, so I left.’

‘Where did you go when you left?’ The doctor asked.

‘Some light forest.’ Arista replied.

‘And then what happened next?’

‘I climbed a tree with a rope I carried with me, made a noose, tied the other end to a tree, put my neck through it and heaved myself down.’ He said, avoiding eye contact.

There was a moment of silence, then Dr. Isudik asked. ‘How did you feel then?’

‘Terrified, excruciating pain, I felt my neck slowly detaching from my shoulders, I felt the darkness engulfing me, it was bad, it was very bad.’

‘How did you survive it?’

‘Someone followed me and apparently saw me when I was climbing the tree with the noose. He saved me.’

‘You are a lucky man, Arista,’ Dr. `Isudik said.

‘That’s the only time I have ever felt lucky in my entire life, so, yeah.’

The wall clock chimed.

‘Okay, that is our cue. See you next time, young man,’ the doctor said, closing the notebook.

Arista couldn’t believe the session was over. A bleak feeling gripped him at the thought of going back. He knew what was awaiting him back in the cesspool of inmates.

…

Thursday somewhat felt like dejavu for Arista; back at the visitor’s bay, standing opposite Patra, a fence between them. Though the surrounding energy was lighter, it still felt comfortless.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey,’ she replied.

‘How are you?’ he asked.

‘Heavy.’ She responded.

‘I can imagine, I wish I was on the other side of these walls, with you,’ he said.

‘You’re not.’

‘I’m not.’

There was silence between them for a few moments, then he asked.

‘Talked to Nolan?’

‘I did,’ Patra replied.

‘I must say, not exactly what I expected.’

‘Well, what did you expect?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know, things just didn’t seem right, I couldn’t place a finger on it.’ She replied, stroking her hair.

‘It will it be alright?’ he said.

‘What now?’ she asked him.

‘Now we focus on our baby, you won’t have to do it alone, Pat. I may not be there for the first two years, but support will be provided. I can take care of you.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘So, are we just supposed to wait, for three years?’ she asked.

‘I can possibly be let out in two, on parole,’ he replied.

‘So, I’m just supposed to wait?’ she asked again, staring at him intently.

It had been long since she looked at him like that, like a lost tourist looking for directions.

‘I hope so, you two are my world … I sure hope so.’

She examined him a bit, then she drew out the Ruby ring from around her slender neck. It was on a silver necklace.

‘Why did you give me this?’ she asked.

‘To hold on to for a while?’ he replied.

‘For what?’

‘A proposal perhaps, under better circumstances.’ He clarified.

‘Proposal.’

‘Yes,’ he spoke.

‘Where did you get it?’ she asked.

‘Too many questions Pat, I want to know about you. How have you been dealing? How has life been?’ he asked.

‘I have been okay, as you can see,’ She said.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘For?’ she asked.

‘Everything,’ he answered.

‘You are, aren’t you?’

‘I am.’

‘New wounds?’ she asked, pointing at his face.

‘Prison right?’ he chuckled,

‘I’m okay.’

Another pause for a few moments.

‘So, you’re going to be a father very soon, can you believe it?’ she said with half a smile.

The display of her smile made him forget all his troubles. It was a priceless thing to see after so long; her eyes squinted a little, her face lost the bleakness, it was heavenly.

‘I’m still preparing myself mentally,’ he said smiling back,

‘I’m both overjoyed and terrified.’

‘Me too.’

‘Still going to name her Inafuz?’ she asked.

‘It’s a girl?’ he gasped.

‘Yes, found out yesterday.’ The smile grew on her face.

‘Inafuz, my dear Inafuz,’ he said softly.

…

Arista’s life was beginning to brighten. He felt things starting to align and work in his favor. Patra was finally on board.

‘Coffee?’ Dr. Isudik asked from across the room.

‘Yes please,’ Arista responded with surprise.

Dr. Isudik returned with two mugs and handed him one.

‘How come you haven’t asked me about my conviction yet?’ Arista asked, taking a sip from his mug.

‘Well, I planned to, I actually would want us to talk about a lot of things in your life, but time is not with us.’ Dr. Isudik replied.

‘Time?’ Arista chuckled,

‘Time is all I have.’

‘No, you don’t.’ Dr. Isudik replied in a serious tone.

‘I would, however, like to know what has lightened your mood today. You seem different.’

‘Oh yes, I had a special visitor yesterday,’ he replied.

‘Oh, who is this special visitor?’ Dr. Isudik asked.

‘The love of my life, mother to be of my unborn child.’ He replied with a proud smile.

‘Good for you my friend,’ Dr. Isudik spoke with a reciprocating smile.

‘Today I want us to take it a step further,’ Dr. Isudik started.

‘I’d like us to dive a little deeper.’

‘Okay,’ Arista replied.

‘You’re here because of a series of choices you’ve made. What would you say spearheaded those choices?’

‘Grief, lack, tragedy,’ Arista replied.

‘Can you expound?’ The doctor asked.

‘I have lost my family, first my father, then my mother and sister. Those losses shifted something in me, made me angry, bitter.’

‘Then the fact that I had nothing left played a huge role as well. I have had nothing my whole life, always scraping, always living on crumbs.’

‘I see,’ the doctor said, scribbling.

‘The worst part is, I have always felt like something is brewing, like my mind is stuck in the wrong body. Like I am supposed to be somewhere I am currently not and that is the worst feeling.

‘Deep down, I have always felt like something is unfolding, but before if fully unfolds, something stops it. Like I’m finally starting to get some direction, but then a loop forms and I begin retracing my steps and going nowhere.’

‘For how long have you been feeling this way?’ Dr. Isudik asked.

‘For as long as I can remember, but intensively since adolescence,’ Arista replied.

‘You’ve been looking for answers.’

‘Yes,’

‘What I know is if you’re looking for answers, and you’re not finding them, chances are you’re either asking the right people the wrong questions or you’re asking the wrong people the right questions,’ the doctor pinpointed.

‘Okay, so are you the right person doctor?’ he asked.

‘I think I am the closest thing you’ve got to right,’ Dr. Isudik replied.

Arista stood up and, with short and steady strolls, he paced the room. Then he turned to look at Dr. Isudik.

‘Do you think I’m cursed?’

‘That is the wrong question Arista.’

‘I have been so unfortunate, harsh circumstances, all odds against me, what other explanation could there be?’ Arista asked.

‘Well, I don’t think fortune has anything to do with it, I don’t think circumstance or odds are the problem,’ Dr. Isudik started,

‘I think the problem is your perception.’

‘My perception?’ Arista repeated.

‘Yes.’

‘With respect doctor, how can you make such a conclusion when you don’t even know me that well?’ Arista asked.

‘I have many years of experience in my field, Arista.’ The doctor replied,

‘You’re always creating a path, every ounce of thought. Every loop, every entanglement. If you don’t change your line of thought, your path won’t change.’

‘Really, so you’re saying it’s my fault?’ Arista asked, getting a little frustrated.

‘I didn’t say that, sit down please.’ Dr. Isudik spoke.

Arista sat back down.

‘You make it sound easy, but finding a way out of my hell is like finding a middle in a haystack.’ Arista spoke.

‘You’re missing the point, my friend,’ Dr. Isudik said calmly.

‘And what is the point? Tell me.’

‘You, you are the haystack.’ The doctor spoke, staring intently at him.

‘You’ve been looking in all the wrong places.’ Arista was nonplussed.

‘Answer me this, who are you? Where did you come from? And where are you going?’ Dr. Isudik asked, still staring intently.

‘I am Arista Loma, I came from my parents and, hopefully, I am going to create a comfortable life out of this mess for my daughter and her mother after I serve out my sentence,’ Arista replied.

‘You are not Arista Loma that is just a name, a tag.’

‘You did not come from your mother’s womb, your body came from there, it is just a vehicle; flesh.’

‘You are not your body, you’re just inside it.’

‘So, who are you?’ Dr. Isudik repeated.

Arista had a blank look at him. The timer chimed.

‘Well, our session is done, till next time then.’

‘Come back with answers.’ Dr. Isudik spoke as Arista stood and walked away in silence.