Spirit Of The Wolf Collection

Chapter 1-1

Nicole stared at the picture of the happy family they’d once been. Smiling faces stared back at her, mocking her. She experienced a stab of pain when her body was wracked by another unexpected sob, but she’d cried all her tears already. She pulled the pillow closer to her chest and sighed heavily, staring blankly at their photo. She remembered the day they’d taken it, before Billy left home. She’d been happy then, with a brother and two loving parents. They weren’t her real family, but they’d seemed real enough to her.

The clock beeped, bringing her back to the present. The meeting would be starting soon and she had to go. She hadn’t contributed much before, but things were different now. She owed it to them to keep their work alive, even if they couldn’t.

Nicole walked toward the old brick building with determination. This was the first time she’d been back since… the accident. Some of the windows were broken and boarded up and all of them carried layers of dirt, several years old. It didn’t look like much from the outside, faring only mildly better on the inside – but it was all the Smithsdale Environmental Society had for the moment.

The SES was relatively new, one of her mom and dad’s pet projects before their deaths. The SES hadn’t done all that much so far, but it had found a good following among the local college students. It gave them the opportunity to get involved in something meaningful.

She reached for the door handle and paused, the hairs on the back of her neck standing on end. She glanced around, but saw nothing unusual. She was probably just paranoid, but once in a while, she had the distinct impression she was being watched. Then again, everyone felt like that sometimes, so she was probably no different to anyone else. With that reassurance in mind, she shrugged it off and opened the door.

The musty smell in the interior of the building hit her instantly. She’d forgotten how bad it was. Her parents never paid much attention to keeping up the place, they were always too wrapped up in what they were doing. She needed to talk to John about airing the place out. Nicole concentrated on breathing through her mouth as she looked around. Dim light filtered in through the broken, partially covered windows. There was just enough light to see the dust motes in the air and the cobwebs which lined the windows. The room was large, with a rickety stage at the far end. Between the door and the stage were several rows of rusting, fold-up chairs and she noticed that the chairs were filling fast, with the first five rows already full. At least attendance was still up.

“Hey, Nicole! Good to see you, again,” a young voice said from behind her. Nicole glanced back at the girl and recognized her as one of the regulars at the SES meetings. She nodded to the girl and turned away. “Sorry about what happened to your parents. If you need anything, just let me know,” the girl announced before she walked over to the other side of the room and struck up another conversation.

Nicole’s throat constricted and her head throbbed, all too common reactions in the past two months. She had to fight it, couldn’t cry here, not in front of so many people. Despite her best efforts, a tear collected at the corner of each eye. She wiped them away, only to find them immediately replaced by more. She had thought she’d completely cried herself out during that week she spent in a catatonic state, curled up on the couch with only a tear-soaked pillow for company. Yet for all the tears she wiped away, she couldn’t dry her eyes.

Nicole glanced around at everyone and her desire to avoid crying renewed a hundred-fold. There had been too many heartfelt condolences and sympathy. No more. She would not cry. Making a quick trip to the bathroom, Nicole splashed some cold water on her face and settled her mind on the business at hand. With her control firmly back in place, she took her seat.

Nicole sat near the back of the group and settled in to see what was going to be said – as if she couldn’t guess. The topic on everyone’s mind was what could be done to stop Steagel & Co. from dumping toxins into the water. The meeting began, and she listened as one person after another repeated what had been said a hundred times before. There was nothing new. Everyone wanted to do something, but no one knew what to do.

Nicole absentmindedly ran her pendant up and down the silver chain it hung on. The pendant was an old stone with a crude carving of a wolf on it. It’s warmth transferred to her fingers, sending calm, peaceful feelings flowing through her skin. It was always warm to touch, but then again she did wear it right next to her skin, so that would make sense.

Her mind wandered away from the meeting. It had been two months since her parents died in the car accident. They’d been the only parents she ever known, having been adopted by them when she was young. They had been her only family and other than one son – her adoptive brother – they didn’t have other relatives. No aunts or uncles. No cousins or grandparents. Other than her brother, whom she hardly ever saw, she didn’t have any family to turn to. She was completely alone in the world.

A heavy weight settled on her chest, feeling like a fist was clenching her heart. She hated the thought of being alone. She was so afraid of not having anyone in her life. Few people knew how much that fear threatened to completely overwhelm her. No matter how many people she had around her, she was always afraid she would lose it all, that she would be left with no one in the end. Most of the time, it wasn’t such a big deal – she could ignore it. Sometimes, she could even manage to partially convince herself it was all nonsense.

Until two months ago.

Ever since her parents died, she’d been in a fierce battle with her demons. It threatened to be too much at times. What was to keep anyone else near her? What was to keep her from losing anyone else she allowed herself to become close to? The truth was, there wasn’t a single thing to keep that from happening. Perhaps she just wasn’t meant to be close to anyone? Maybe she was paying the price for some bad karma. Maybe she was cursed. Maybe she was just unlucky. Those were all possibilities for why some higher force would contrive to leave her lonely, and there was nothing to interfere with the fates should they choose to sentence her to such a destiny.

She pushed the thought from her mind. There was no sense in dwelling on negative thoughts – even if it was her destiny to be alone, she didn’t have to think about it. She had a lot of good things in her life. For instance, she had Meg. They’d known each other for a very long time; most of their lives, in fact. Meg knew all her secrets, and she was one of the few people Nicole had let herself get close to. But if she was honest, she sometimes found herself shutting Meg out, too. There was always a small part of herself which couldn’t seem to let go.

Nicole refocused her thoughts again. Okay, so she wasn’t very good with interpersonal relationships, but she had other things going for her. She had school and the SES to occupy her time. Stopping the release of toxins by Steagel & Co. was the last project her parents had worked on before their deaths. As scientists studying the local environment, they’d discovered the horrible poisoning of the local land and water. They’d founded the Smithsdale Environmental Society to deal with these problems. The SES had been important to them and now, it was her responsibility to finish their work. She owed them that much.

Nicole pushed her glasses back up on her nose and tried to draw her attention back to the meeting, which was almost over. She was restless, felt as if she should be doing something. By the grumbling around her, it was obvious everyone else was frustrated and restless, too. As she stood to leave, she noticed John walking toward her. The dim lighting made his short brown hair and blue eyes appear darker than usual and as he drew closer, she was reminded just how tall he was. She was wearing her platform boots, and he was still taller than she was. He possessed a face to match his impressive height, square and hard, but his eyes were so warm a person couldn’t help liking him. His features communicated a great sens of power and charisma and Nicole thought he looked more like a CEO than the college senior he was. She could understand why her parents had given him so many responsibilities.

John Markham had done a lot of work for the SES while her parents were alive, and had taken on even more responsibilities after their deaths, and she was grateful for all his help. He’d almost been a second son to her parents, he was just a few years younger than Billy and unlike her wayward brother, John actually shared their interests. During some of those late night and weekend planning sessions, when John spent so much time over at the house, it had almost seemed like having a brother again.

She pushed aside an unwelcome pang of jealousy. It wasn’t John’s fault he’d fit in with them so well, where her and Billy always struggled. It was probably for the best, anyway. At least someone was able to carry on their work, as they deserved. During those first few weeks after the accident, Nicole hadn’t wanted to deal with anyone or anything. Not that she would have been much help anyway – when her parents were alive, she’d come to some meetings and listened to her parents discussing their work, but Nicole didn’t know the first thing about running the organization. Without John, she didn’t know how the SES would have stayed operational.

John flashed a half smile. “Nicole, hey, how’s it going?”

She shrugged. “Oh, it’s going. And you?”

“Oh, I’m good.” John shifted from foot to foot and Nicole smiled reassuringly. Despite her brave front, he’d been a little nervous lately when he spoke to her, as if he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He had tried his best over the last couple of months to make sure Nicole didn’t have to worry about anything to do with the SES and seemed reluctant to bother her in the few times he had needed to ask her something. This seemed like another one of those times.

“Was there something you wanted?” she prompted.

“Yeah, um… I’ve been talking to some of the others. We decided we need some photos of the river and the surrounding wildlife on file, along with the soil and water samples we’ve been collecting, and we were wondering if you could take the photos, since you’ve got that really good camera..”

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” Nicole smiled. At least this would be doing something constructive. “When do you need them?”

“You’re sure it’s no trouble?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” She rested her hands on her hips in an indignant fashion. This china doll treatment was going to have to stop – sure, she was a wreck, but he didn’t need to know that. “So, when do you need them?”