Chapter 3: Memories That Refused to Fade
1238 Words
For several minutes after Ethan left the classroom with Sofia, I remained seated in silence with the pen still resting between my fingers. The voices of my classmates filled the room around me, yet their conversations sounded distant and blurred as if I were hearing them from underwater.
My heart was beating too loudly for me to focus on anything else.
I lowered my gaze to the paper in front of me again.
The college selection form looked simple enough. It was just a piece of paper asking students to choose the university where they wanted to continue their education. Most of the people in this room had already decided weeks ago. They were excited about the future waiting for them.
For me the paper felt heavier than anything I had ever held in my hands.
Because I knew exactly what would happen if I made the same choice again.
In my previous life I had written the name of the same university Ethan Blackwood attended without hesitation. I convinced myself that fate had given me the perfect opportunity to stay by his side. I imagined walking across the same campus with him, studying in the same library, and eventually becoming someone he could not ignore.
Looking back now I wanted to laugh at my younger self.
I had been so desperate for his attention that I built my entire future around him.
My fingers tightened around the pen.
No matter how many years passed I would never forget the moment he looked down at me in that hospital room with eyes colder than winter. I had given him my youth, my love, and even a child, yet in the end I was nothing more than an obstacle standing between him and Sofia.
The memory made my chest ache.
I slowly placed the pen back on the desk.
Before choosing anything I needed to calm my thoughts.
The classroom suddenly felt suffocating.
Without thinking too much I stood up from my seat and walked toward the door. A few classmates glanced at me curiously as I passed by them, but no one stopped me. Everyone was too busy talking about their own plans for the future.
The hallway outside the classroom was quieter.
Sunlight streamed through the tall windows along the wall, casting long golden lines across the polished floor. I leaned lightly against the cool surface of the wall and took a deep breath.
The air smelled fresh.
Alive.
For a moment I closed my eyes.
The memories came back immediately.
They did not arrive gently.
They crashed into my mind like waves that refused to stop.
I remembered the first time I met Ethan Blackwood during my first year of high school. He had been standing near the school gate talking with his friends while the afternoon sun rested on his shoulders. I remembered how my heart had skipped a beat when our eyes met for the briefest moment.
That moment had changed everything.
From that day forward I followed him everywhere.
I studied the subjects he liked because I wanted to impress him. I joined activities simply because he participated in them. Every decision I made revolved around him in one way or another.
Yet he never noticed.
Or perhaps he noticed and simply did not care.
His attention had always belonged to Sofia.
My beautiful elder sister who seemed to possess everything I lacked.
Sofia had never needed to chase after anyone.
People naturally gravitated toward her.
Teachers admired her.
Friends adored her.
Even strangers could not help but compliment her elegance and grace.
Standing beside her always made me feel invisible.
I had spent years believing that if I tried harder then perhaps one day I could become someone Ethan would finally see.
But love that had to be begged for was never love to begin with.
My chest tightened as another memory surfaced.
The day Ethan asked me to marry him.
Even now I could clearly recall how fast my heart had been beating when he stood in front of me with a calm expression and asked if I would become his wife. I had been so overwhelmed with happiness that I did not question anything.
I did not question why his voice sounded distant.
I did not question why he avoided meeting my eyes.
I did not question why Sofia stood silently behind him with a strange expression on her face.
I only heard the words I had been longing to hear for years.
Will you marry me.
A bitter smile slowly formed on my lips.
What a perfect fool I had been.
The truth had been standing in front of me the entire time.
Sofia could not have children.
Ethan needed an heir.
And I was the easiest solution.
Even after marriage his heart never belonged to me.
He spent most of his time with Sofia, and I convinced myself that it was normal because they had always been close. Whenever I saw them whispering together or laughing in quiet corners I told myself that I was simply imagining things.
I ignored every warning sign.
Until the day I heard the truth with my own ears.
I remembered standing outside Sofia's room late one evening after returning home from a doctor's appointment. I had been carrying the test results that confirmed my pregnancy, eager to share the news with my husband.
Before I could knock on the door I heard voices inside.
Ethan's voice.
And Sofia's laughter.
My heart began to pound violently as their conversation reached my ears.
Ethan's tone had been soft in a way I had never heard before.
"If things were different I would have married you instead."
Those words had pierced through my chest like a knife.
I stood frozen outside the door while Sofia replied with a quiet sigh.
"We both know that is impossible."
Then Ethan spoke again.
"It does not matter. Aria will give us the child we need."
I could still remember the way my hands trembled as I listened.
"Once the baby is born everything will be perfect."
The sound of their voices still echoed painfully inside my mind.
I slowly opened my eyes.
The bright hallway returned to view.
Students walked past me occasionally, chatting about their plans for college and the future waiting ahead of them. None of them knew that I had already lived through a future filled with betrayal and death.
None of them knew that I had died.
My fingers curled slightly against my palm.
But I was alive again.
Somehow fate had given me another chance.
The realization sent a strange warmth through my chest.
Perhaps the universe had decided that my story was not supposed to end in that hospital room.
Perhaps I had returned for a reason.
I pushed myself away from the wall and stood upright.
The fear and confusion that had overwhelmed me earlier slowly faded away, replaced by something far stronger.
Determination.
This life would be different.
I would not chase after Ethan Blackwood.
I would not sacrifice my future for someone who had never valued me.
I would live for myself.
And this time I would protect my heart.
With that thought firmly settled in my mind, I turned around and walked back toward the classroom.
The college selection form was still waiting on my desk.
And this time the choice I made would belong only to me.
- Writer
