The Alpha's Lost Luna

9

Liz

My cheek throbbed for the rest of the day. It pulsed in time with my heartbeat. A dull and relentless ache that spread into my temple and down my jaw. Every time I moved too fast, pain flared behind my eyes, sharp enough to make my vision blur for half a second. The spot where my head had struck the wall hadn't stopped aching either. A deep, bruising pressure that made it hard to focus if I let myself think about it too long was forming. So I didn't.

I powered through it, refusing to show any weakness. The wolves in this pack scented weakness like sharks scented blood in the water. One crack, one slip, and they would tear into it until there was nothing left. I kept my head down and continued with my work. I scrubbed and folded. I washed and I dried. I ignored those who walked past me — not like they saw me anyway.

The rhythm of it was mindless. Mechanical and a safe. By the time I found myself in the kitchens helping Stuart prepare for dinner, my arms ached, and my stomach felt like it was folding in on itself. The scent hit me first.

Roasted deer, rich and savory, drifted from the hearth in thick waves that made my mouth water painfully. Vegetables sizzling in oil, the faint sweetness of caramelizing onions mixed with herbs and smoke. My stomach twisted so sharply it almost hurt worse than my cheek. I swallowed hard and Stuart noticed. He seemed to always notice.

I smiled gratefully when he passed me small bits of food when no one else was looking. A scrap of meat. A softened vegetable. Nothing enough to satisfy, but enough to take the edge off the gnawing emptiness clawing at my insides.

"I think this is just about done. Thank you, Liz," Stuart said, calling me by my nickname the same way Gloria had. He was the only one I allowed that pleasure. His voice was low, but warm. "I think you should go ahead and head out. Luna will be here soon, and we don't want anymore..."

"We don't want anymore what?"

The silky, deep timber of his voice slid through the room like a blade. Everything in me went still. The familiar scent of cedar and storms filled my lungs. It was grounding and dangerous all at once. My wolf relaxed instantly, pressing forward with a quiet and aching longing, but my body did the absolute opposite.

I stiffened. Froze on the spot. My pulse spiked so fast it made my head pound. My eyes stayed locked on Stuart. He stood at attention immediately, bowing his head respectfully toward his future alpha. His eyes flicked to me for the briefest second before returning to Rowan.

"I meant no disrespect, young alpha," Stuart said quickly. "I only meant for Liz to go to her rooms before she got in any more trouble today."

"Well, dinner is almost ready. Why would she not be joining the pack for dinner?" he asked.

I refused to look at him. I couldnt. Not when my heart was racing like this. Not when my wolf was pressing against my skin, drawn to him in a way I didn't want to acknowledge.

"She is not permitted to eat with the pack..." Stuart said, a bite to his tone that made something in my chest tighten. I thought I had no allies here. But every day, in small, quiet ways, Stuart chipped at the walls I had built around myself. He never pushed too hard. Never enough to put himself in real danger, but it was enough. Enough to remind me I wasn't completely invisible.

I felt it more than I heard it. Rowan stiffening behind me. The air shifted. Thickening to a choking intensity. Heat rolled off of him in waves and my instincts screamed at me to brace.

"Since when?" he barked. I flinched. I hated that I flinched.

"I have never been permitted to eat with the pack. That has never changed from the day I was found as an infant, till now. I'm surprised that you're just now noticing, alpha." The bitterness slipped out before I could stop it, laced with something far more dangerous — shame.

"I... wait, you're telling me... that in twenty-one years you've never been allowed to eat in the dining hall with the rest of the pack? For any meals?"

Why did he sound so confused? Had he never noticed? Why did that hurt more than it should?

"No, alpha. I'm not permitted to eat meals with the pack. I'm not allowed to eat until every pack member above my station has had their fill." The words tasted like ash in my mouth because he knew what that meant. If someone wanted seconds, or thirds, they took it. Even if it was the last of the food. Even if it meant I would be left with nothing. "That has never changed."

"Who ordered that?"

"Your mother and father. Alpha and Luna. My meals are contingent on what is available when everyone else's needs have been met and so long as I have gotten my chores done."

"Chores?" he asked and my jaw tightened.

"Yes. My duties, Alpha." I kept my gaze on the floor as he moved — felt him step closer. The shift in space pressed against my senses. "I am to help in the kitchens with cooking and cleaning. I am to help serve the food when availability is short. I am to clean every room in the packhouse and ensure all members' laundry is completed. I am to ensure all trash is taken care of. I am to clean the alpha and Luna's office. And I..."

"You... you're telling me that one person... is in charge of well over one hundred and fifty rooms? Plus added duties on top of that?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand. And if you don't finish that, you're not allowed to eat? That's a basic necessity," he whispered.

"I am not allowed necessities. Those are earned." Of course, he didn't understand. He had never needed to.

I felt it the moment he saw my face. The shift in him was immediate. His hand shot out before I could stop him, fingers brushing my jaw. Sparks exploded across my skin. Heat and awareness and something electric that made my breath hitch. He tilted my face gently. Turning it side to side as he took in the swelling, the discoloration, the damage his mother had left behind.

"Who did this to you?"

"Luna Faye," I said. There was no point in lying. He was watching me too closely. Listening too carefully.

"Why?"

"Punishment." I kept my words short and simple.

"For what?" The answer that rose up was bitter and hollow.

"For existing," the words barely made it past my lips. "Please... excuse me..."

I pulled out of his grasp before I could think better of it. Before I could linger. Before I could let myself feel something I had no right to feel. I fled. I burst out of the kitchen without taking the scraps Stuart had saved for me. If Rowan saw — if he mentioned it, it would be considered stealing pack goods and that would result in another punishment. Another mark. I didn't stop.

I ran past the dining room, the scent of food hit me like a physical blow. Laughter echoed from inside, warm and full. Everything I had never been allowed to be a part of. I ran past the library. Past the halls. Past the rooms that were never mine and out the back door. Through the gardens and then I shifted mid-stride.

The world snapped into focus as my body dropped to four paws. White fur rippled over muscle and bone. Like my human body, my wolf was skinny and smaller than most due to lack of nutrition. The pain dulled, replaced by something sharper. Cleaner. It was freedom. I ran.

My paws thundered against the earth as I pushed myself farther and harder. My lungs burned as I raced. Wind tore through my fur as I sprinted down the stone steps and toward the shoreline. I didn't stop. I couldnt. Not when everything inside me felt like it was clawing to get out.

The crash of waves met my ears, loud and relentless echoing the chaos in my chest. Salt filled the air, clinging to my fur as spray from the sea kissed my body. Sand kicked up behind me as I ran along the shoreline, faster, faster, faster until the ache in my muscles forced me to slow. I dropped to a trot near the edge of the pack boundaries, sides heaving as I sucked in breath after breath.

This place... this was the only place I felt even remotely at peace. And even that peace was fragile. My wolf was restless and conflicted. We hated it here. Hated the way we were treated. The way we were looked through, not at. The way we were used until there was nothing left to give. And yet... we loved the land. Loved the sea. The air. The very ground beneath our paws. Leaving felt like betrayal. Like abandonment. Just like we had been abandoned.

My wolf wanted our mate. The pull was there. It was undeniable and instinctual. Impossible to ignore. And I was being honest... I wanted a mate too. But not like this. Not him. Not when I knew how it would end.

Rowan would never choose me. He was loyal to his pack. Devoted to his family. He would never betray them. Not for someone like me. His mother would kill me before she ever allowed it. And he would let her. The thought twisted something ugly in my chest. I had to leave. I had been preparing for it. Quiet and carefully, but now... now it wasn't just an idea. It was a necessity.

I turned my head, ears pinning pack as I looked toward where the packhouse sat beyond the cliffs. I couldn't see it from here, but I could feel it. Looming and watching. Waiting. I couldn't stay much longer. Not with the recent uptick in vampire attacks. Not with the way tensions had been building. Not with Luna Faye watching me closer than ever.

The scent of one of the warriors drifted toward me and I stilled. A low growl sounded behind me. Warning. I dipped my head slightly and turned back toward the packhouse, forcing my body into a slower pace. Then the voice came through the pack bond.

"Get back to the packhouse. Luna Faye is asking for you."

Fuck. The voice was unfamiliar, but the command wasn't. I obeyed. What choice did I have?

I kept my pace slow, dragging it out for as long as I could. Every step toward the packhouse felt heavier than the last. My paws pressed into the sand and I watched as the waves rolled in, washing away my tracks like I had never been there at all. Would it be that easy? To disappear? When I left... would anyone even remember me? Or would I fade away just like this? Erased without a trace?

The packhouse came into view, perched high above the cliffs. And there she was. Luna Faye. Standing at the edge like something carved from stone. Hannah stood beside her and my stomach dropped. Something about the way Luna Faye held herself — too calm, too controlled — set every instinct I had on edge. This wasn't over. Not even close. I shifted back as I approached, my paws giving way to bare feet against the ground.

My heart pounded. My cheek throbbed and dread curled low and heavy in my stomach. What the f**k did I do now? As I approached, she grabbed me by the hair at the nape of my neck.

"I warned you to stay away from my son. I warned you what would happen. It seems you need another lesson. One that will ensure you learn what I am trying to teach." She looked at Heather, who was standing there smirking at me with evil in her eyes. Her painted red nails tapped against her chin. She nodded at Luna Faye. "I think two days at the stake will teach you a lesson. Let's go."