The Alpha's Lost Luna

11

Liz

Luna Faye secured my wrists with silver cuffs to the tall pole in the middle of the communal pack area. The metal bit into my skin immediately, a sharp and searing burn that made my breath hitch, but I didn't react. I couldnt. Reacting only made it worse. Instead, I focused on what was around me.

There were several shopping-style stalls and venues for people in the pack to sell their wares or food that wasn't served in the dining hall of the pack house. Not all of the pack members lived at the packhouse. There were houses scattered around the central market, belonging to mated pairs and older wolves who had earned their place.

Earned their place. My lips twitched at the thought.

I couldn't hear the echo of footsteps moving between stalls. The low murmur of conversation, the soft clink of coins and exchanging hands — it was strange how we could have and use technology but still fall back to old ways. The scent of fresh bread and sweet confections drifted through the air, warm and inviting. It felt like a different world. One I wasn't a part of.

A few stragglers eyed me as they passed. Some with curiosity. Some with open disdain. Others... worse. Indifference. That hurt more than anything. It was nothing new. Me being tied to the stake. Most wolves didn't bat an eyelash at my predicament anymore. Some looked at me with pity but never spoke. Never stepped in. Some were even encouraged to join in on the punishments. I hated those wolves. But a quieter, more dangerous thought crept in behind that hatred. This is normal. This is what I deserve. My throat tightened, but I swallowed it down.

The sun was starting to set, painting the sky in soft hues of orange and gold, and I knew Luna Faye would leave me out here all night. Probably all day tomorrow too. Maybe longer.

My knees ached against the unforgiving concrete. My shoulders strained, arms pulled at an unnatural angle above my head. The silver of my cuffs burned deeper the longer it stayed in contact with my skin, blistering, eating away slowly. Tears sprang to my eyes despite my efforts to hold them back. Don't cry! It only makes it worse! Be quiet. Be good! Take it! I pressed my lips together until they trembled. I knew what was coming next. And I needed to save my energy for that.

Luna Faye sank to her haunches in front of me and gripped my chin roughly, forcing my head up. "You'll never learn, will you? To obey... I guess it is in your blood after all."

Her words hit harder than the silver. Her eyes widened a fraction, like she hadn't meant to say it out loud. My entire body went still. What did she mean by that? Something sharp and desperate flared inside my chest. It cut through the fear, the pain, the resignation.

"What does that mean?" I yelled, my voice cracking as I strained forward. My chains rattled violently as I pushed toward her. Closer. Closer. If I could just... she stood abruptly and stepped out of reach. Coward! I growled in my own head and my wolf hummed in agreement. She was weak from the silver but had enough strength for that.

"What does that mean?" I screamed again, louder this time. I ignored the way the silver tore deeper into my wrists. I ignored the wet warmth of blood beginning to drip down my hands. She knows something. She knows! For as long as I could remember, I had searched for answers. For anything about where I came from, or who I was. About why I had been abandoned here like I was nothing.

And she knew! She had always known! Rage flared, hot and desperate. For a moment, I forgot my place! The crowd grew. I could feel them gathering. Their attention on the scene sharpened as they fed off the tension like it was entertainment. Maybe it was. Luna Faye sighed, almost bored, and nodded to someone behind me.

A rough hand slammed into my shoulder, forcing me down to my knees. "I will enjoy this," Beta Richard's voice slithered into my ear.

My stomach twisted violently. His scent — rotten and foul filled my nose, and I fought the urge to gag. The first crack split the air and pain exploded across my back. It was sharp and blinding. It felt all consuming. My body jerked against the restraints. A broken sound tore from my throat before I could stop it.

Then again. And again. And again. Each strike landed deeper, the silver tip bit into my flesh, burning it as it tore through my skin. The toxicity spread quickly, sinking into my veins. It dulled the edges of everything while somehow making the pain feel heavier and thicker. Like it was pressing down on me from the inside out.

I gritted my teeth so hard I felt something shift and crack. I tasted blood as I bit through my cheek. Don't scream. Don't give them that. But I couldn't stop the sounds. The whimpers. The broken, humiliating noises that escaped no matter how hard I tried to swallow them.

Blood poured down my back in hot and relentless streams, soaking into the fabric of my torn clothes before dripping to the ground below. It pooled around my knees. I stared at it through blurred vision. At my reflection in the dark glossy red liquid. And something inside of me... slipped. Detached. If I focused hard enough, it almost didn't feel like it was happening to me. Like I was watching someone else. Someone weaker. Someone who deserved it.

Was this because I spoke to Rowan? Because I said his name? My chest tightened painfully. My eyes flicked to Heather. Of course. She had heard us in the kitchens. My gaze flickered weakly toward the crowd, searching without meaning to. Listening and waiting. For footsteps. For a voice. For him. Every sound made my heart stutter. Every shift in the crowd... maybe...

Nothing. No one came. The realization didn't hit me all at once. It settled slowly. Quietly. Like something heavy sinking into my bones. He's not coming. My chest hollowed out. Of course, he wasn't. Why would he? He hadn't claimed me. He hadn't chosen me. I was nothing here. No one.

You should have known better. You should have kept your head down. This is what happens when you forget your place. We should have just left first thing this morning! The thoughts came easier now. Quieter and more believable.

By the time the lashes passed twenty... maybe more... I lost count. At some point, the pain stopped being sharp. It dulled and flattened. Like my body realized there was no point in fighting it anymore. My reactions slowed, and my breathing turned shallow. Even the tears... stopped. Not because I wasn't hurting, but because there was nothing left in me to give.

The final crack of the white landed directly across the center of my back. My body arched violently. A raw and broken scream ripped from my throat before collapsing into silence. Distantly, I heard laughter. Beta Richard's. I saw Heather's quiet and satisfied smirk. But Luna Faye... she wasn't smiling. She was staring at me, wide-eyed and uneasy. Afraid. Why? I was barely conscious. My wolf had retreated completely, driven back by the silver and the pain. I was nothing. Less than nothing.

"You will remain here until I say you've learned appropriately," Luna Faye said coldly. "I do hope you'll retain this lesson."

She turned and walked away without another glance. Heather spat on me before following after her. Beta Richard crouched in front of me one last time, gripping my face.

"My job here is done," he sang, pleased. I didn't react. I couldnt. I didn't care. He released me and my body sagged, weightless.

The crowd lingered. Whispers floated around me, muffled and distorted. The healer stood among them, hesitantly. Watching. But she didn't move. No one did. They never did. I think I even saw Stuart in the crowd staring at me with an unreadable expression.

By the time the sun disappeared completely, and the moon rose high in the sky, I was barely aware of anything beyond the steady, throbbing ache that had settled deep into my bones. Every movement reopened something. Every breath hurt. My fingers twitched weakly, but I couldn't move them. The scent of blood hung heavy in the air. Mine. Always mine.

I stared up at the moon. "I hate this world," I whispered. My voice was barely more than a rasp.

The words scraped hard against my throat. This will never change. The thought came unbidden. It settled in. Solidifying into reality.

Nothing had ever changed before. Why would it now? No one was coming. No one had ever come.

"I want to go home," I cried weakly. But I didn't know where that was anymore. It wasn't here. Maybe it never existed.

My chest tightened painfully as something darker crept in. What's the point? The question echoed into the emptiness inside of me. I had asked it before. More and more lately. And each time... the answer felt the same. There isn't one. The tears didn't come this time. There was nothing left for them to carry.

Sometimes... when it gets bad enough... I imagined this would be the night it finally claimed me. When it finally ended. That the punishment would go too far. That my body would just... stop. And the thought didn't scare me. Not anymore. If anything... it felt like relief.

"Some all-loving and caring gods you all are," I rasped. My gaze was fixed on the moon. "We are nothing but forgettable ants beneath your ivory-coated palaces."

Each word cost me. Each breath was worse than the last. When I couldn't take it anymore... I stopped fighting. My body sagged fully against my restraints. And when sleep finally took me, I didn't resist it. I welcomed it. Like it might be the only peace I'd ever get.