Hidden Little Secret

The past (revised)

I kinda of just looked at James, trying to even think of anything. Most of my childhood was the same not feeling like I belonged in either human world or Mermaid world. Only to later find out I was now also part lynx shifter. Things were just strange. Some of my memories were foggy and it made no sense when just the other week I could remember with clear detail. It was starting to give me a headache from thinking. I put my hand on my head from the pain and I could feel james shift himself on the bed. Then his big hands were on my cheek forcing me to look up at him.

"I'm sorry. Literally last week I could remember almost every detail of my childhood. From who I dated to who I hated. Every member of my mother's pod who tried to train me I could remember their faces. And now I try to look back and its just all blurry. Foggy. I cant see anything clearly." I said with tears in my eyes. How was this possible.

"A witch must have put a block on your mind." James said right away like he knew the answer.

"I didnt even know witches were real." James laughed at my words. "what?"

"You really didnt think witches were real when you are part mermaid?" He asked through laughs. I glared at him and huffed with my arms crossed. Then he kissed me. "it's okay little one. We have a witch of our own here. It's actually my mother. My mother and father are fated and she was absolutely. My mother thought it was crazy. She couldn't feel the fated bond but she felt a pull towards my father. She still does not feel the bond in the same way you and I do. Even though she is marked. She even figured out a way to mark my father with her magic instead of biting like we just did. She feels a little more and she can mind link with me and my father but thats it. People thought she would be a terrible Luna but she has kept us safer than any other Luna before her." He said with an awkward chuckle. So he was a hybrid to? Is that one of the reason he was able to change the kits dna to now be his kit. His heir. That was all to weird to me still. I wasn't even fully sure that he was telling the truth.

"He is you are just to traumatized to believe him." my Lynx said and I huffed in my head.

"I remember mostly that I was tired of feeling out of place so I found a university in Florida for becoming an american sign language interpreter. Thats where i met him. And he was like a dream. He claimed he was a wolf and I was his mate but I thought it was impossible. Plus i didn't feel any bond with him. He was convinced it was because I was a mermaid and wanted me to become a wolf as well. I always said no because like while I thought I loved him things were bad. When he started hitting me..." The tears came back and James just wiped the tears away.

"You dont have to continue." He said almost like he didn't want me to keep going. He was looking at me with such concern I wondered if his Lynx was angry with my words. My lynx just huffed in my head and I could tell she was rolling her eyes at me.

"You need to know. How else are you supposed to..." Love me. "Eventually his abuse got worse. And it was so bad that when I found out I was pregnant I lost it. He was at a work trip so he never knew. That same day I went through the box of my fathers things my mother had. She didnt know I had it and still has no clue about it. If she does she never said anything. I sent a letter to my father and within a day your Delta was at my door. It was really fast but I assume the post saw where it was going and just got it there quicker than normal mail? I have no idea." There was no way he could reject me right? even after I just told him all of this. Who would want a beaten and battered fated? James pulled me into his arms and physically lifted me so I was sitting in his lap now. I put my head on his chest and took in his scent of Gardina flowers and Ocean breeze. It was so calming that my tears calmed down.

""What is his name?" And for the life of me I could not remember. How could I not remember his name? That was impossible. The man who tormented me and made my last few years a living hell is just an unknown name now.

"I can tell you what he looks like. but the only thing I can remember without hurting my head is his initials. A.D." I shook my head and James just started to play with my hair. James didn't say anything else but I could tell he was angry. Probably with me considering I let myself get into that situation. I could have left before things got bad yet I never did.

"He's not mad at you. Gods you are so traumatized." My lynx said then she retreated to the back of my mind. Eventually I could feel my eyes getting heavy and a kiss was placed on the top of my head. I felt safe for the first time in years and somehow I was able to fall asleep in James' arms breathing in his scent.