Chapter 55 Episode 55
1622 Words
“And if it’s not him, then it will be the next predatory bosswho paws at you while you work a job you hate so you canscrape by. What a life it is you’re protecting.”
“Some of us have no choice!” she screams, slamming her fistsagainst my chest.
I press forward closer, pinning her against the wall of theelevator. She’s a captive lightning bolt, trembling andtwitching with emotion she can’t keep bottled up anymore.
I lean close and brush my lips against her ear. Her breathcatches, her chest hitches, her writhing hands go still.
“You do have a choice, Belle.”
She shakes her head without looking at me. Her hair is fallingout of its sleek knot. “No, I don’t. You took that away fromme.”
I push off the wall and spin away from her. “Maybe I shouldhave known you weren’t cut out for this life.”
“Oh, I’m the problem?” She laughs like she’s going insane.
“Yes, you are.” I raise my eyes to hers. “You won’t survive inthis world. You don’t belong here.”
“Clearly not,” she snarls, even as her eyes glisten with freshtears.
“I exist to lead my Bratva. My life is this business. And if youcan’t see how connecting with the Greeks benefits me—mylife, my Bratva—then I won’t waste my time explaining it toyou.”
Her chin wobbles before she raises it and squares hershoulders to me. “Your life is this business. And I’m no longera part of your life. So you can do whatever you want witheither one. Count me out of all of it.”
We stare at each other for a moment. When I reach past Belle,she flinches. Until the buzzing of the emergency alarm cutsout and the elevator starts to move once more.
She stares at me until the doors open at our floor. When theydo, she steps out, moving slowly like she isn’t sure whatcomes next.
But she isn’t my problem anymore. I don’t care what she does.
I don’t care about anything.
I’m blindly chucking everything into suitcases when there’s aknock at the door.
For a minute, I’m not sure if I should answer or not. Is itNikolai? Do I want it to be Nikolai?
“No,” I whisper, shaking my head. “No.”
This thing between us has to be over. It shouldn’t have evenstarted in the first place. I knew who he was, but I let myselfget roped in anyway. And now, I’m half a world away fromhome with no idea how or when we’re going to get back.
Nikolai wouldn’t just leave me stranded here, though. Wouldhe?
“Yes, he would,” I snort to myself. I kick the dress he gave meaway into the corner. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve everworn. Probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, period.
But it doesn’t fit into my life. There’s nowhere for me to wearit.
Just like Nikolai. He’s gorgeous, but we don’t fit. Don’t match.
This is for the best.
As I go to answer whoever’s here, I pray that one day I’ll beable to say that and believe it.
I yank open the door, ready to fix Nikolai with an icy coldglare and hold him at arm’s length. Any closer than that isdangerous. But when the door opens, it isn’t Nikolai on theother side.
Her lips are pursed tight. “Belle Dowan.”
She remembers my name. I’m not sure whether that’s a goodsign or not.
“I wasn’t asking.” Her voice isn’t exactly cold, but it’s farfrom warm. “May I come in?”
I hesitate, my hand gripping the edge of the door. Being alonein a room with a woman connected to a violent mafia—awoman who probably hates my guts, seeing as how I just spentthe week having wild vacation s*x with her fiance—isn’t agreat idea.
Then again, a closed door probably won’t stop her if she wantsto kill me.
All I can do is hope she doesn’t want that.
I step back and open the door. “Be my guest.”
She steps into the room and drifts to the island to perchdelicately on the edge of one of the stools, rearranging herdress just so to avoid wrinkling it.
“You aren’t coming back to the party?” she inquires.
I chuckle and look down at my outfit of ripped jeans and a t-shirt. “No. No, I’m not. I’m done.”
“Yes, you are.” She cuts right to the chase. Nikolai can saywhat he wants, but this woman is a match for him.
I gulp. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“And I’m not here to f**k around,” she snaps. “You’ve alreadyembarrassed me in front of all the other guests. Don’t treat melike I’m stupid.”
I sigh. I’m so sick of these people and their inflated egos.“Listen, Xena… Nothing was really even going on with meand Nikolai. I came here to work for him.”
I’m surprised a bolt of lightning doesn’t smite me on the spotfor telling such an outrageous lie. Based on the expression on
Xena’s face, she doesn’t buy it, either.
“Are prostitutes traveling internationally now?” she muses.
Anger surges up in me like lava. I’m ready to defend myself…Before I realize she isn’t too far off. Shame replaces my rageand I lower my head.
“I know how this looks from your perspective. If I was you,I’d hate me,” I admit. “But… I never meant for any of this tohappen.”
“This?” she asks, gesturing between the two of us. “You nevermeant for me to find out? Or you never meant for—”
“Any of it,” I say hurriedly. “I had no idea you even existed.Well… I knew you existed. I saw you in the office at ZhukovaIncorporated one day. Do you remember that?”
“I didn’t know Nikolai was engaged to you, though.”
Too many words to say and too many emotions to process clogmy throat. I clear it, trying to stay calm. I need to squash downwhatever I’m feeling and get through this so I can get out ofhere.
“I would never set out to be… to be the ‘other woman.’ I’mnot a homewrecker, and I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
I shake my head. “What?”
I frown. “Then why are you here?”
She rearranges her skirts and purses her lips. “How much doyou know?”
“Know about…” Realization hits all at once. “Oh. Everything,I think. Marriage deals, mafias, Bratvas. Yeah.”
“Good. So I can speak plainly, then.” Xena says it like it’s arelief. How many lies do these people have to tell to live theway they live? I can’t imagine it. “You can’t hurt me because Iam not emotionally involved in anything with Nikolai.”
I nod. “That’s what he said, too. But I don’t buy it. Marriage ismarriage. If you’re here to convince me to be your third orsomething—”
“I wasn’t finished.” Her voice is commanding, and Iinstinctively snap my mouth shut. “I’m not emotionallyinvolved with Nikolai, but we’ve come to an arrangement. Iexpect it to be respected.”
“And what arrangement is that?”
“Our marriage formalizes the deal between the Greek mafiaand Nikolai’s Bratva. And it is exclusive. You understand mymeaning?”
“No, not really. I can’t understand marrying someone youdon’t love. Why not just… I dunno, sign a contract?”
She shakes her head. “This way, we are twining ourselvestogether. My happiness is his and his is mine. Think of ourlives as… collateral. If the deal falls apart, we both go downwith it. It’s insurance.”
“High price to pay for insurance.”
“Perhaps,” Xena agrees. “But I grew up knowing that I wouldbe used to secure a better future for my family. I’ve beenprepared for this for a long time.”
“How do you prepare for something like this?” I wrinkle mynose and then shoot her an apologetic smile. “I’m not… well,I’m trying not to judge you.”
“I decided a long time ago that if my marriage won’t be one oflove, it will at least be one of respect. I won’t let myself bemade into a fool. And worse, I won’t sit by while my husbandfucks whores in our house as I grow bitter and jaded. I won’tdo it.”
“That… actually makes a lot of sense.”
Xena looks up at me. And for the first time since I let her intothe suite, I remember that she has the capacity to kill me if shewants. Something in her eyes is sparking my fight-or-flightinstincts.
Between those two, though, it’s not even a question. I’ll take“flight,” please and thank you. Preferably direct home toOklahoma City, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundreddollars.
“So I need to know that you are done with Nikolai,” shefinishes. “For good.”
Now is not the time for hesitation, but I hesitate anyway. Iwant to make sure I’m clear about what I’m giving up.
As I think, tears prickle the backs of my eyes. I’ve never beenone to dream about a future. My present has always been toochaotic to start making plans. But for a minute there… I sawone with Nikolai.
In the end, I do all I can do: I nod. “I’m done,” I promise her.“For good.”
- Writer
