Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 2

MICHELLE

The rest of the day went in a breeze. I finished packing brutally stuffing almost everything that I ever owned. I walked to the dining room for dinner. Dominic and Alex were watching football on the flat screen.

"Done?" asked Alex and I nodded.

"Come on, let's eat." Dominic declared as he got off the couch.

"Where's mom?" I asked Alex.

"She is in dad's room." he answered. Of course she was pissed off. It was my last dinner with my family and she wouldn't be there. I should be relieved about that, but I wasn't. Deep down I was expecting her to give me a happy send off. It's been ten freaking years, I should have known better. We had our dinner in silence. Dominic urged me to get good sleep as I had a long tiresome journey ahead of me. I placed my luggage near my bedroom door and went into the washroom to shower. My hand burnt when in contact with hot water. I applied skin ointments on my arms to reduce the burning sensation before falling on my bed waiting to be consumed by sleep.

I ran across the corridor with a bundle of books pressed against my chest. School lockers all around me. I ran without a clear destination in mind.

"There she is!" Someone yelled behind me. I didn't turn or stop. Just keep running, Just keep running — I repeated under my breath. A bunch of people appear in front of me out of the nowhere. I stopped abruptly and turn only to find myself in the middle of hundreds of people who were laughing with their fingers pointed at me. I pressed the books harder against my chest.

My mother, Dominic and Alex are among the crowd, laughing at me like there was nothing left in this world to laugh at. "You're one useless piece of crap. You don't even deserve to breathe in this world. Such a waste of space." Scoffed mom venomously while my step family just nodded and laughed.

"I'll second that." shouted someone from the crowd while "You can say that again." shouted the other. Tears rolled down my cheeks. The cacophony of noise became louder with every passing second. I pressed my hands hard against my ears, letting the books fall on the ground and shut my eyes as hard as I could. The discordance remains unsolved.

I felt one strong hand on my shoulders "Mish!" said the voice. I knew that voice, it was Dominic's. I opened my eyes to meet his deep brown one's. "Wake up," he said. I looked at him, confused. "Mish, wake up." he repeated, jerking me this time.

I woke up startled to find my step-dad sitting on the edge of my bed. I let out a sigh of relief knowing it was a dream. My brain has been tormenting me in the same way since like, forever, but it still catches me off guard. Dominic's face crumpled seeing me out of breath.

"Mish, you okay? You're sweating." He said, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"Yeah, I am fine. Just a bad dream." I replied, rubbing my eyes. "What's the time?"

"It's quarter to eight. You need to freshen up and have your breakfast." I nodded, still catching my breath. "How's your hand? Does it burn?"

"No. Not very much. I applied ointment yesterday before falling asleep." He nodded and got off the bed.

"I take the luggage outside."

I nodded, "Thanks."

I rushed to the washroom to freshen up and take showers. I wore my favorite purple sweatshirt and black jeans, warm and comfortable for the journey. We had a petty and quick breakfast and started for the airport. The drive was quiet. Dominic and Alex sat in the front while I sat in the back seat. I did not see my mother after her fight with Dominic yesterday. Hopefully, she won't t*****e him for my deeds. It would have felt good to look at her ferocious green eyes before I left. At least we have Dominic and Alex next to us, said the "other me". Yes, and I was more than thankful. For whatever selfish reason they both decided to help me get out of this place, I prayed for those purposes to get fulfilled and for them to be happy.

Once we reached the airport, Dominic and I got busy with unloading my luggage from the car while Alex was busy perfecting his hair.

"Goodbye Mish, Thank God you're finally leaving. I will not miss you." Alex said, playfully rolling her eyes. I smacked his chest softly.

"You're so mean, Lex, but I will miss you a little bit." I said hugging my brother tight. He hugged me back, laughing while Dominic too joined the party.

I said my goodbyes to them and in no time I was on the flight. It was five-and-half-hour flight from Oklahoma city to Seattle. Thanks to Dominic, he reserved me the aisle side. I put on some music and gazed at the beautiful aerial view in front of me. I will certainly miss my life in Oklahoma. Dominic, Alex, and my mom too. Having said that, I was exceedingly nervous about my new unpredictable life.

I landed at Seattle – Tacoma International Airport and waited for my Aunt Judy to come pick me up from the airport. I informed Dominic about my arrival, but he was at work so he just wished me luck and hung up. He works as a Neurosurgeon in a private hospital, in Oklahoma. I have never seen anybody, so passionate about their work. I envied his dedication and love towards whatever he does. While Dominic is all about warmth and love, mom was exactly opposite to that.

Should we call or text her that we landed? Questioned a voice in my head.

"Does she care?" I mumbled under my breath.

Eventually, Aunt Judy arrived in a shiny blue Mustang. "Shelly! Finally, you are here," screamed Aunt Judy, running towards me while I grabbed my bags. She looks so gorgeous. Her blue eyes conveyed her emotions evidently. She was extremely happy to have me.

"Aunt Judy! Thank you. You look so beautiful." I hugged her. People around us stared at her beauty. Her heart-shaped face with two blue eyes were just beyond this world. Her cheeks turned pink when I complemented her beauty. Not a single person would believe that she was my aunt, she might even look younger than I was.

"Don't call me aunt." She said while helping me loading my luggage into the car.

"What's happening girl! How is the boyfriend? " She asked with a grin. I snorted.

"I don't have a boyfriend Judy, you know it."

"Ahh! That we can change shortly. " She said not taking her eyes off the road. I giggled. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. That was Dominic.

"Hi Dominic! What's up? " I answered the call.

"Hey Mish! How was the flight? Did you find Judy? " He inquired. I turned towards my aunt and put the call on the loudspeaker.

"Dominic," shouted Judy, "your dearest daughter is safe with me. Now will you please stop bothering us." Judy said in a serious tone. I chuckle.

"Oh! I see someone has already jumped to the opposite team. Hmm, how unfortunate." He said, in a sad and low tone. I laughed out louder than before.

"Never Dominic, I would never abandon you. I am always on your side." I said.

"Oh, stop it, you two oldsters." Judy commented, rolling her eyes. We laugh and chat all the way to Judy's. It took us three trips each, to get my luggage into the house.

Judy's house is more beautiful than she is. It's a small two-bedroom space, with a kitchen, a living room, and a bathroom in each bedroom. I examined the house for a while. The living room was adorable with cream walls with an enormous painting of a deer in the woods, elegant lighting, beautiful maroon curtains, a mini bar in one corner. It has all the warmth needed to make an apartment, a home.

"Sorry Shell, it's a small space, but I assure to give you complete privacy." said Judy. I looked at her for a bit longer than required and chuckled slightly.

"You are kidding, right? This is perfect," I turned to face the living room, "I love the house and its warmth." I said, delighted. Her face lit up instantly.

Judy led me to in my new room and left me alone, so I could get my selves acquainted. The room was light and open by the reason of two large windows. Cantaloupe walls with rose colored curtains. A squishy bed, right in the middle of the room, with bright white sheets and a comforter that matches with the curtains. A wooden work desk placed on one corner of the room with a study lamp on it. Another corner was occupied by the wardrobe and a book-stand with four books on it.

I lied on the bed for a while before I began arranging the things' I brought with me. I shifted all the clothes from my bags in the wardrobe; Places the books I brought along to the stand; dusted the study table and rearranged all the things on it the way I like. It took me a couple of hours to get things done. I have always been one messy a*s person, and my room, back home, gave enough testimony of my sloppiness, but this room here, looked like an art piece and I didn't want to spoil it. Ever. Let's see how long that goes.

I walked into the living room where Judy was watching television with a glass in her hand. Eying that, I asked. "You drinkin' already? It isn't even dark yet."

"Oh! I forgot my mom has moved here. Sorry," she said, not taking her eyes off the screen. I chuckled.

"Pour me one." I smiled and winked at her once she turned to look at me. She got up and walked to her mini bar on one corner of the living room, "But not too much kid, we don't wanna mess your first day up now, do we?" she said while pouring me a glass of wine. Later we ordered pizza, chatted until we were drained, and finally decided to go to bed.

I texted Dominic 'good night' which he replied almost immediately. I called mom as well, although she didn't lift my call. Instead, she sent me a message stating – I will call you back later – which I certainly knew will never happen.

I lied on my bed covering my body with the most comforting comforter, wondering if mom missed me as I have moved out. She was used to getting immense delight in tormenting me and making my life feel like a purgatory for sins I don't know if I've committed at all.

I missed both my fathers. My real father, Edwin, and Dominic. I don't really remember much about my real father. I was just seven years old when he died. But I do remember that we were a happy family and my mother used to love me back then. Dominic has obviously been extremely nice to me which is weird. He behaves well to my face, however, I've always wondered about his intentions behind it. One thing I was sure of that nobody in this world truly loves or cares for someone, people just pretend to be good to get some selfish benefit out of you. They use other people callously and remorselessly to fulfill their own agenda. My own mother did pretend to love me and care for me, for whatever God forsaken reason, until my dad was alive. Once he was gone, she completed flipped. These memories only made me sadder and even more worthless than I already feel, therefore I brushed them away and tried to get some sleep.

Next morning, despite having the same horrible dream, I was surprisingly ardent. I made haste in getting ready for the day as I had to visit the University Administration Office, and also must avoid awkward gazes that other students will be throwing at me for being a month late to join the campus. Well, I mostly went to avoid the stares.

I was about to leave the house when Judy shouted, "Shelly! Wait up!"

"Yes?" I turned around, raising my brows. She was dressed in her work clothes. Is there anything in this world that she cannot pull off perfectly. She looked stunning in her modern suit. Judy worked as a sales manager for a multinational company. I wonder if people really work with her around, I mean she could be distracting.

"How are you planning to go?" she asked, crossing her hands near her chest.

"Well, guess I'll take public transport or taxi?" my answer sounded as a question to my own ears.

"Oh, is it? And who will use this one, then?" She asked, pointing at her shiny blue mustang.

That confused me. "Don't you have to go to the office?" I asked, looking at her suit. "How will you go?"

"I use my bike. This car was gifted by the company for my ten years of work. I knew you would come here soon, so I kind of saved it for your commute to college. I drove it yesterday for the first time to get you from the airport. " She pursed her lips and turned to look at the bike, parked just beside the car, "I love my bike... So, keep the car?" she asked raising her eyebrows and extended her hand with the keys in it.

I was out of words. Did she just say that she kept the car for me? Yes, she did, replied my subconscious. Why? Why would anyone do such a thing for me? 'Cause, she cares for you? You i***t!  She scolded me. Nobody cares for anyone here, so shut up. What do I do? What can she possibly want from me? Does Dominic have anything to do with this?

I didn't notice I was staring at Judy all this while until she snapped her fingers in front of my face, pulling me out of my trance.

"Shell?" She narrowed her eyes at me, "Don't tell me you can't drive."

My forehead creased. "But, why?" I asked, shaking my head slightly.

"No reason," She shrugged, "I'd like you to keep it."

I don't believe this. She surely has some purpose behind her love and care for me. I don't mind being friendly, and doing small things that a friend would do but this, this is too much. I cannot handle such generosities calmly as others do. I cannot handle when people exhibit anomalous love and concern for me. I certainly cannot allow this.

"No," I declared, "thank you." I turned around and ran until I was outside of Judy's sight.