MEN OF OLYMPUS: APOLLO

THE REIGN AND THE FALL

“And the Best Actor for the 2018 SINAG TALA Award goes to—“ the great hall of SINAG TALA theatre is full of ocean of actors, film directors, producers, and writers. Kasama na rin dito ang kani-kanilang pamilya o kanya-kanyang plus one. At di rin mawawala ang mga masugid na tagahanga nang mga artista at gayun din ang mga kilalang pangalan sa larangan ng industriya ng film and tv production na kasama sa nominado sa gabing iyon.

Me, I just went alone to this prestigious award ceremony, even on the inside I’m dying to be with someone but in this kind of living that I’m here right now, it is darn difficult. Kakatwa mang isipin noong mga bata pa tayo akala natin napaganda ng mundo kapag ika’y nasa ilalim ng mga nakakasilaw na ilaw mula sa camera, naririnig mo ang walang katapusang sigaw nang tuwa at galak ng mga taong humahanga sa taong nasa harap ng lente. Pero lahat ng ito ay isa lang palang malaking kasinungalingan na ikinubli sa liwanang ng niningning ng kanilang mga mata.

Though it’s tough to be me, even if most of the people and the fans doesn’t seem to notice but it is draining in some however I didn’t that I’ve chosen this path because one of my fulfillments lies on the spotlight and sharing my love to the people who adore me back. Still, there is so many prying eyes because you’re under the spotlight. I’m cool with that but not everyone can handle the dangerous world or fame and limelight. And I’m telling you this world of fame and fortune truly one of the  testimony to saying that­— Its more than what’s meets the eye.

Tonight I’ am honored to be a nominee of two of the distinguished awards this night. First is the Most Popular Male Actor of the Year, that I’ve just won moments ago. Second, was the Best Actor of the Year. Kasama pa rito ang iba pang nakuhang parangal ng kinabibilangan kong pelikula na pinamagatang Kislap.

Kung papalarin ay sa kauna-unahan ko pa lamang mapapanalunan ang Best Actor Award sa isang kilalang award body dito sa Pilipinas, and I’ve been in the showbiz industry for fifteen years. I have tons of movie and series that I’ve played as the lead actor but still mailap parin ang parangal na ito.

At kaya kung papalarin na mapapanalunan ko ito sulit na ang halos dalawang taon na paghahanda at pag-shoot nang pelikulang inirere-present ko sa parangalan.

“You’ve got this man.” Saglit nawaglit ang aking paningin mula sa entablado ng marinig ko ang tinig ng aming director at executive producer ng pelikula pinabibidahan ko. Eto lang naman ang nag-iisang Hugo Ludvig Vidar Eliasson Lundqvist, kung ano ang hinaba ng pangalan nito ganun din kahaba ang balbas nito sa mukha, di rin papahuli ang buhok nitong kung nakaladlad ay aabot hanggang siko nito. Ngunit ngayong gabi ay nauklip ito sa masinop na pusod o kung tawagin nila ay top bun.

Also, this man has a long list of film and series that top the notch not just on the mass or the audience in general but also on the academy people. Ilang awards narin ang hinakot nito both local and international.

We can say, na kapag si Direct Hugo ang nag-direk at nag-produce ng isang pelikula o teleserye tsak mamahalin ito ng mga manonood at hahakot ng mga parangal.

Hindi pa isasali rito ang asawa nito na syang writer ng pelikulang aking pinagbibidahan, na isa rin sa kilalang screen writer and novelist di lang dito sa bansa pati sa buong mundo. Kaya hindi na ako nagulat, na pareho namin naiuwi ang parangal na Best Screenwriter and Best Director on the Film category.

“I hope man, I’m have to win this award. It has been years.” I said to him hoping that I won the award. Not to be greedy or just to say that I’m totally craving for this kind of exposure but di mo naman mapagkakaila na kapag may ginagawa kang bagay at pinagtuunan mo ng buong dangal, pagod at sakripisyo, masarap naman na kahit minsan ma-appriciate yung pinagpaguran mo.

The half Swedish director just smile and because of that, the happy wrinkles on the corner of his eyes, really pop-out and radiant a very pleasant aura from him. Kung hindi lang eto nahanay sa pagdi-direktor malamang ay kabilang narin eto na tulad nyang isang artista ngayon. He got that charisma that the spotlight loves.

Considering that he is good in the eye and totally illuminate a charming light from him. But don’t be fool on his cheeky and disarming demeanor, because this man is flippin’ ruthless and stern in terms on directing and making movies. He will not tolerate anything that can tarnish his name, the project that he is making and to get the job done and precise for his taste. He is known at being cut-throat and brilliant at directing.

And I have seen that both in my own eyes a couple of times, lalo na at dalawang beses ko na rin etong naging direktor, although I’m not the leading man noong una ko itong naka-trabaho. Mapalad parin ako at nakuha ko ang parangal sa pelikulang iyon, being Best Supporting Actor.

“Yeah, I’m sure of it. Kahit anong mangyari ikaw ang mag-uuwi ng parangal na yan. Lalo at magka-sing gwapo pa tayo… Wait a second, mas angat ako ng tatlong ligo so pwede na.” Nangingiting tugon nito. At tanging iling na lang ang nasagot ko rito, but ramdam ko ang mabilis na pintig ng puso ko dahil sa pinahalo-halong emosyon, na syang nararadaman ko sa mga panahong iyon.

“At paano ka naman napasok sa uspan aber?” I just laugh when I heard our writer na natatanging asawa lang naman aming magaling na direktor. I feel a slightly jealous there because nakakasama nya isa sa mahal at mahalaga sa buhay sa mga panahon na gaya nito. They both share this beautiful moment to one another. I hope someday I can to.

“Älskling, that’s not even a question—“ Nawala na ang pansin ko sa dalawa ng biglang—

“Congratulations Apollo Callixto” As soon as my name called the crowd starting to cheer. The whole stadium is full of fans that cheering at me calling my names and happy for the achievement that I’ve got.

At dahil sa pagkabigla ay hindi ako kaagad nakatayo sa aking kinatatayuan. My limbs are numb and my heartbeats fast than what I’m used to. At ramdam kong namamasa na ang aking mga mata. That time I just felt the arms on my both sides and helping me to get.

“This is not the time chicken up, but definitely the time to get up” I hear the lame joke of my director and saw na sya pala ang umalalay sa akin para tumayo.

“Congrats man, you really deserved it.’ He hugs me and then he makes sure the bow tie is aligned and my suite is free from creases and hold their pristine structure. Though I know that my outfit on that night is spot-on, specially I have brilliant team behind me, and this suit was made by very well known fashion designer and a friend of mine.

“Now go up there big boy and get that bacon in your hands”

“Thank you.” Yun lang ang mga katagang  aking nabanggit dahil sa umaagos at nahihimutok na sari-saring emosyon na aking nararamdaman.

While I’m walking up to stage where the award that I’ve been longing for it’s feel like I’m floating in the air and still numb by the situation that I’m experiencing right now.

And hindi ko na nga nagawang pasamatan ang mga nakakasalubong kong mga artista at ilan pang kialalang pangalan sa industriya, na bumabati sa akin.

I just flash my good ‘ol smile and hold my ground and walk on the path that leads me on one of my dreams. And when the time that I’ve made there, I can sense that the tears that I held back before when I am going up there just drop on my face. And in the back of my mind, I saw all of things that I’ve been through all the sacrifices that I have to make, all the sleepless night. All the pain the harsh comments, the good, the ugly and the bad. All of them just rush on me and just makes me want to cry.

And when the presenter gave me the award. As it the cold platinum touch my skin it just rushes through me, and my eyes got blurry even more, and I abundant tears left my eyes. And then I take a one deep breath and raise the trophy while giving my gratefull speech on the people on the historical stadium.

After that the night went by pretty past and namalayan ko na lang na patungo na kami ngayon sa after party. Where the celebration started.

Actually, hindi ko gugulin ang buong gabi ko rito at saglit lang na makiki-celebrate parang pakikisama narin, gaya ng nakasanayan ko. Dahil mas gusto kong mag-celebrate lalo na ngayon at malaki ang nakuha kong parangal, kasama ng mahal ko sa buhay.

“Hey there, look at you man!” I hear the cold rough voice in my back while I’m talking to someone that laud on my success, I’ve known who it was.

Is none other than the world renown fashion designer Matthaios Vallderama or was popularly known as Matt Vallderama.

I politely decline the lady that I’m talking na isa sa mga papasikat na tv series actress, before I face my dear old friend. Where I knew back when we are just in our elementary shoe.

I welcome him with a great hug with a tapping on each other backs just like what we always did.

“Congratulations! At last, dummest you’ve made it!” Natatawang bati nito sakin, habang tinatangal nito the shades that he is wearing.

“And that speech, that is classic Apollo. I remember the first time you also won and award being the Best New Actor. Ngumawa ka rin habang inararaos mo yung speech na hinanda mo.” He adds mocking me on my dreaded past that I wish to forget. Though it is a memorable because that is my first award as an actor, so I just swallow the shame.

“Thank you, you fool. Yeah, at last my luck has finally work.” Balik na sagot ko rito.

“I can’t wait to go home and share this achievement to Lora” banggit ko rito.

Pagkabanggit ko palang ng pangalan ng ka-live in parter ko na si Lora ay bilang umasim ang kontura ng mukha nito. Hindi naman ito lingid sa aking kaalaman na hindi nito gusto or what he always said that he got a bad chip with my girlfriend.

And for me it just okay, because he still respects her but yeah, he dislikes her but still he didn’t do something bad for our relationship as a friend to ruin. And I also respect his view, as always as what all said you cannot please everybody. And I’m totally cool with that, and it really shows that I have a good selection of friends.

“Yeah, I’m shock that you’re here, ang akala ko ay uuwi ka na agad but tumagal ka” sabi nito at inilihis na ang usapan tungkol kay Lora, habang kumuha ng champagne na dala-dala ng mga catering crew.

“I want to go, but it is just not right na bigla na lang akong maging missing in action” Sabi ko rito sabay kuha na rin ng maiinom.

“Of course, you’re the actor of the night. Mabuti naman at napagbigyan mo kami ng iyong natataning oras.” I just rolled my eyes on his sarcasm classic Matthaios.

“You, no luck in romantic aspect?” balik kong asar dito. Hindi naman kasi lingid sa aking kaalaman that there are a lot of women and actually also men that floating around him. And hoping that they can get a shot of the one and only Matt Vallderama. Though my friend is elusive than the white crow. However, as his very good friend I know that he is not immune to this aspect of life.

But this man knows how to put those people on their right place. Those who are fool to think that they can get a piece of him or worst used him for their own advancement and coat it as a person who only wants some romance. But we both know what’s true.

He just chuckles and say, “You know is a mad luck to find someone on these days? Or not because you have one. But you think that the one will just swift you off your feet in a Italian shoes.” Though his lips stretch on a sly smile. The sadness is reflecting in his beautiful gray eyes.

Yeah, the fame is good and full excitements but everything in this world has a balance like my older brother said you can’t have everything all at once without knowing your proper ground. So, there’s always something or someone that it’s hard to have, it doesn’t mean that you can have it is just that you have to know the balance.

Like what I have experiencing right now I have the fame and the life as an actor that I’ve always dreamt of and a lot of people who have dream as me, hoping to have, to achieve. But also I have my love that it is not part of it and by the rule in the jungle world, it is hard to juggle does two things.

So, I have to sacrifice some things, gaya ng pagtago ko ng relasyon namin we are almost in the five years of our relationship. Una kaming nagkakilala at naging kami nung kasagsagan ng kasikatan ko at nasa edge din na kung may nagawa akong mali o may lumabas mang tsismis na hindi magugustuhan ng mga taong humanga sa akin ay pupwde mawala sa akin ang pangarap na ito.

Hell,kung ako lang ang iisipin I don’t want to hide our relationship but I also love my job and there is lot f people depending on me. Lalo’t na ay nasa part ako ng aking karera na dumadami na ang tumatangkilik sa akin.

It is painful to hide it and act like there nothing or someone who will unintentionally hurt when I said that I don’t have someone seeing right now. Or when a news, a gossip that I’m dating one of my co-star.

I’m blessed that Lora doesn’t mind it and undestand my job. Though I know its very painful even though she doens’t talk about it. Kaya na lang napaka- gahaman ko sa oras lalo na at ang oras na iyon ay maaring mailahad ko sa kanya. But still I’m gratefull that in our 4th year anniversary she said yes on living with me under same roof and I actually planning to ask her hand on our fifth year of being together and at last I can finally say to the world that I have someone in my life.

Matt and I talk a couple of moments before I decided to go home, I message Lora first before I get out of the venue where the after party holding through. But mag-kakalahating oras na ay hindi nya pa ito nasasagot o kahit seen man lang. I shrug it off baka nakatulog na ito at di na ako nahintay masyado na rin kasing late even though she said to me that she will wait for me to go home.

My team usher me on my van on the parking where it is park. My bodyguard help me open the door and get me in safely, though hindi ko na ito pinasama sapag-uwi sa kadahilanang late narin ngunit tumanggi ang aking management. And as I welcome my new driver that I’ve just got dahil yung huling kong driver ay pinili ng magpahinga at mag-retire. Dahil kung tutuusin naman daw ay napagtapos nya na ang lahat ng  kanyang mga anak sa pag-aaral at may mga stable na mga trabaho narin ng ang mga ito. I’m sad because all through out my career Manong Luis is my driver and become a good companion, a friend and also a father figure to me. So, it I’m depressed to see him go though I’m proud and happy that I am part of making his dreams come through.

And that is also why I can’t leave this industry not just I love it but also there is a lot of people on my side that are depending on me and helping me. And I want to get back to them.

But this driver that I’ve got right now is hired by my people kadalasan kasi ako ang humaharap sa gawain na iyon, because this is the people that I’ve always have. Kahit saan man ako mapunta that’s why I’m so hands-on but dahil narin sa strict ng schedule ko these past weeks. Ay hindi ko na nabigyan ng pansin at hinyaan ko na ang mangement ko ang maghanap at humarap sa mga aplikante.

Aabot rin ng thirty minutes ang bibilangin bago ako makauwi, even if wala ng masyadong traffic dahil lagpas na ang oras sa rush hour aabot parin ng ganoong oras because my house is on suburban area.

Fifteen minutes on trip bigla kong naramdaman ang biglaang pagbilis ng van na sinasakyan ko. Because of that I get the attention of the new driver that introduce him as Mang Carpio and tell him he can take the speed less but to my dismay there is no response. Hanggang sa nakaramdam na ako ng kakaibang kaba at ang mas nakakatakot pa ay mas lalo pang bumilis ang takbo namin.

Yelling on them with my bodyguard on the passenger seat on his left, because I try to unbuckle my seatbelt but hindi ko naman matanggal ito sa di malamang kadahilan. So wala akong magawa kundi sigawan ang ito na ihinto ang sasakyan but he did not listen. And my bodyguard just seat there na parang walang naririnig. Tinawag ko ito sa pangalan niya ngunit wala paring sagot at ng biglang itong tumingin sa aking gawi. Doon ko napagtanto na hindi ito ang aking bodyguard, as he sways his head to my side, he gave me this creepy smile that give me chills and make my hands sweats. And in that time, I know I am in a very dangerous moment in my life.

Still I’m forcing my way out of the seatbelt and that moment we are heading the crossroad and it’s clear to see that we are on the red side, so its means that we have to stop but the driver still push it through.

Ang bilis ng pangyayari hanggang sa nakita ko na lamangt ang sasakyan na lulan ako ay tumawid sa crossing even though there are still vehicle crossing and then suddenly I see cement mixing truck on my left side where I am sitting, and its then I know we are going to be hit by it. And with that I just see some flashes of memories, and everything went black and eerie.