Love is not only Romance

Chapter 4

I was a closed-off person. Always a listener, never a talker. I had nothing to say. All my words were clogged in the chambers of my mind, never daring to escape my mouth. Having a mellow personality often leaving you blending into the walls. I never minded that. I always had a lot to think about. I never minded listening to the endless stories of my friends. That only lasted until I met Elle. After realizing that there's so much more to talk about. It doesn't only have to be about why he didn't text her back, or how he spoke to his female classmate, or how he didn't greet you in the morning.

I had the same friends in grade 8 and I entered grade 9 with them by my side. They helped me through so much. Things just changed. Slowly from being my safe haven, they became a group of people who I had to be with. We often forget that we are constantly changing. The people who we were may have been the closest of friends but the people who we become can be total strangers.

There was a time where we could speak about everything, anything in this world. Just like almost everything in my life, things started of blissful. My friendship is what I valued and held onto. The smugness I used to feel whenever someone complimented our closeness and consistency. The flaw with that is that you invest so much of yourself in a friendship that when everything ends, a part of you is buried with it.

C.K.P.S.T

The group didn't have an amazing abbreviation that made it seem like our whole friendship was meant to be. I guess I could say that was the first sign that our friendship would be a messy one.

Samantha and I have history. Hating each other for 7 years and magically becoming best friends for the next 2 years. I never saw the reason why we were enemies in primary school, I guess we just saw each other as competition. Sam was always this warrior, I admired how she could never keep her mouth shut when something was wrong. She had this aura that demanded that no one looked over her. I was kind of jealous of that.

We entered high school together, hand in hand. We were that duo. Everything was perfect and when we met the C.T.P of our group, I can’t help but feel like that was the beginning of the end of our friendship.

Charlotte is a dancer. She was the out-going one of the trios we met. She is beautiful, and I have to admit that when I first met her, I was intimidated by her. She was social, absolutely beautiful and fit, all of which I felt I wasn't, knew I wasn't.

Trinity was more like me at the time. She was quiet, funny and sarcastic to the bone. I spoke to her most of the time, maybe because we were the only two of the group who didn't bother to bunk class. She too is gorgeous. She is strong too, although people made her out to seem babyish. There’s a lot more under the surface when it comes to her. I admire her

Paulina was more like Samantha. They got along really well. I was jealous because I felt like I was really replaceable. She defined Chill. She went with the flow all the time and never really let anything get to her.

Eightht grade was easier since I met them, it was fun. They supported me when my dad died and helped me find my ways to deal with everything. it was truly the best thing I could have wished for at that time.

I guess everything fell down when ninth grade started. Everyone began to make a boy their priority. The discussion of boys was the only thing between us. I’m not going to play the victim card and say its all their fault that our friendship falls through later on because there is always something more than a person can do. Maybe I could have been more understanding. Or maybe I could have tried to explain everything to them and not hide.