Is it love?

The missed day

I blink my eyes a few times, because I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now. I turn on my heel and start running and I jump right into his arms as he catches me. He’s here, and he’s all mine.

“What are you doing here baby?!” I’m nearly screaming with excitement and surprise.

“I came to see you. I missed you and couldn’t sleep so I got in the car and drove here.”

We head back towards the door and go upstairs to my dorm room. My roommate is still asleep, we have to be quite. He climbs in my little twin bed I have raised half way, making enough room for storage underneath.

We lay under my blankets, spooning as his c**k gets hard, poking me from behind. It’s inevitable of what’s about to happen. We can feel the want from each other and he slips down my sleep shorts and panties. He f***s me softly, not wanting to make noise to wake up my roommate a mere couple feet away. He finishes and we fall asleep for a few more hours.

I wake up for my first class and leave him in the room with my keycard so he can come and go to the room as he pleases. He stays with me for a week before heading back home. I can’t wait for him to come visit again. I love him so much.

Another two weeks pass by and I miss him already. I’m supposed to go out to a bar with a bunch of my girlfriends this weekend but I’m supposed to be getting my period so I’m reconsidering going out. The first two days always suck and it always comes on the same day of every month. My last period was on the 26th of August, the day after I left for school so Saturday should be the day.

Saturday comes, no period. “Huh,” I say to myself. Thinking back I think when he came here that one morning, he finished in me. “Oh no..”

I tell one of my girlfriends my thoughts, and she drives us to the local store to buy a pregnancy test. We walk in and head towards the family planning isle. I feel like everyone’s probably staring at me, like they know I must be pregnant and too young to have a baby. Alas no one was looking, but it’s that paranoia you get, like when you buy pads or tampons with your mom for the first time. My friend Kait looks at them with me.

“Hmm, this one tests early before you get your missed period, it must be good.”

I take the box and look it over. It’s digital, and that’s what I’m looking for. I don’t need to be playing the guessing game of is it positive or is it negative, I wanna be certain. I bring it to the register to pay, my anxiety is at an all time high. I’m certain the cashier is probably judging me, I may be in college but I still have the face of a 16 year old high school kid.

“It says I should do it in the morning to get the most accurate result.” I say looking over at Kait.

She struggles her shoulders. “Maybe if this was a week before you missed but since you already did, take it now, you can always take the 2nd one in the box in the morning.”

“F**k it,” I say, grabbing the test and heading into the bathroom.

Then we sit there, waiting for longest 3ish minutes of my life. ‘What if I’m pregnant’ I’m thinking to myself. What will I tell my family, I’ll be a disappointment to everyone, my future career will come to a hault because I’ll have to drop out of school and who knows what else. Will Dom even want the baby? Will he even want me? What will his reaction be? I’d like to think the warm and fuzzy reaction will happen but again, I’m realistic. He might freak out and tell me to kick rocks and never speak to me again.

Do I get an abortion and go on with my life? I was raised not believing in abortion. Not for myself anyway, everyone has to make they’re own choice for their own body. I don’t think I’d be able to go through with it. I know my personality, I’d regret it forever and always wonder what this child would’ve been like. Too many thoughts and not even a solid answer from this plastic pee stick yet. Oh how I wish it would hurry the hell up!

Then it changes. It goes from a blinking dot, to words. Pregnant.

“It says pregnant,” I say glaring at Kait, waiting for a reaction.

She’s been my best friend since last year and she’s a local to the area. She’s the only one I could think of to share this moment with.

“I’m going to be an Aunt! she starts screaming. “I’m sure Dominic will be happy, he loves you.”

She has more confidence than me. You’d think I’d be thinking the same thing but I’ve heard the stories. Everyone’s in love till a baby is on the way then the father isn’t seen or heard from until he’s gotta start paying.

“I’m just not trying to have my baby grow up in a broken home..if I can help it.” I sigh and let out a big breath of air. “I didn’t have both my parents growing up, I want my kids all one day to have both their parents together, atleast if I can help it.”

“It’ll be okay,” Kait tries to comfort me, she can see I’m getting all worked up from within.

“I’m gonna have to call him and tell him, he can’t not know right? I just have to do it.” I ask without expecting a real answer out of Kait, she’s never tell me it would be a good idea to not tell him. I blow another big breath of air out of my lungs, trying to calm my nerves, and prepare myself for what his reaction will be. “Here goes nothing..”