Dreaming, just keep dreaming.

Chapter 2

I heard how the car did brake, pity that the snow and the rainwater that ran through the streets, did not brake at all, so, yes, the car touched me, I flew out, at least I felt it like that, although I exaggerate a little.

My legs hurt, I fell on my right arm on the pavement, they were removing stones, they had been left on the street, and I fell there, my waist hurt, my legs were weak, my right arm was on a pile of stones just like my torso, Luckily I didn’t hit my head or face.

Nicol came running towards me and Ryan ran towards the car, he looked angry.

-Tyler, Tyler! s**t, at least you’re not unconscious, s**t, you hurt too?!

-Nicol... -I could not see her face well, the light of the pole above us was backlit, while I tried to see her I remembered that I saw her eyes very clearly, they were celestial... they were cute...

-s**t. You want us to take you to the hospital?!

I took a while to answer for what I was thinking. -No... I’m fine, I don’t want to go to the hospital... I’m fine.

-You’re not okay, you just hit a car and you say you’re okay?! -Ryan was still upset.

-I don’t want to go, I’m, I’m... I’m fine, plus going would bring back bad memories, don’t let me go to the hospital please. I want to go to my house...

I don’t know how I could talk with all the pain I felt in my body... I thought they would take me to the hospital at all costs.

They both carried me, they took me to my Uber, I remember people looking at me wrong, Ryan said I was drunk... and took me to the Uber, already inside I fell asleep, house was far from there, the road was long and I do not know how crazy I must be to endure the pain like this and fall asleep... But I did, I don’t think I fainted from the pain... did I?

‘’You killed her...’’

Ryan and Nicole helped me up to my apartment, they left me inside the house.

‘’You killed her...’’

-Guys, I don’t know what your dad talks about, Ryan... I wouldn’t be able to do something like that, just think about it, it was my mom, the person I loved the most… the person I adore…

Ryan hasn’t said anything to me since they picked me up from the floor, he was quiet when I said that.

-Nicole, let’s go. -Ryan said that and he left, Nicole stayed there, she stared at me for a while, it looked like she was going to say something, but Ryan insisted on getting out of there so she left. I locked the door, I realized dad was gone, I tried to call him, but his cell phone was off, slowly walking, making strength with the leg that hurt least I went to see his room, in the morning it was a disaster, I wanted to see if he did something and everything seemed in order again, I’m sure he fixed everything when I left home.

-Damn, where you are dad, I need you... -I called him back but he still didn’t answer. -s**t, you’re the worst, how it was that mom noticed someone like you, you’re never there when I need you.

As I was going to my room I took my shirt off, but I couldn’t, my arms were hurting a lot, my waist hurt, and I felt like throwing up all the time, my head was spinning, Ryan lied that I drank too much, but that’s how it looked...

It was very painful for me to move to go for a bath, I decided to call my dad again, but as I expected, he did not answer.

-You’re a f*****g shit... -I said it while I was crying, of anger I gave a knee to the door, for a moment I forgot that I had to take care of my good leg while the other one recovers, the blow was so serious that the pain beat me and I fell to the floor, I was crying on the floor, I couldn’t move, my dad wouldn’t answer me, I was alone without being helped to even stop me and even worse... My mom wasn’t with me.

I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up at dawn, now what hurt was a little below the stomach.

-Damn it don’t tell me you want to go to the bathroom to pee... -I saw myself down there -...it can’t be, I can’t move, how I’m supposed to go to the bathroom... -I stopped to think about dad. -Dad? Dad!-I started calling my dad even though I didn’t hear him come home.-DAD! DAMN WHERE ARE YOU?!

I crawled a little on the floor, I didn’t want to wet my pants or the floor, with a little effort from my feet and my left arm I managed to get to the bathroom, but I couldn’t stand up, I still hurt the rest of my body, I stuck to the bathroom rate and tried to get up, I felt my arm break, but thanks God I could sit in the bathroom.

-I’m only fifteen, soon sixteen, these things are normal at my age…?

A few minutes passed and I did not realize that I had fallen asleep in the bathroom, by the time I woke up I felt a little stronger, but it hurt too much still. Moaning, I managed to get into the shower and I managed to shower. I changed my clothes, I managed to lie in my bed, and I managed to sleep for a while longer...

-You killed her, so you don’t like to talk about it right?

-You were the culprit.

-You deserved to die.

-You won’t be my son anymore.

-You should be burned and thrown in the toilet.

-You don’t deserve everything that woman taught you.

-You’re the reason I never wanted to have a child. While I was dreaming, I saw my mother’s figure in the distance.

-Tyler, dear, why did you kill me?-...I blinked, then the figure was closer to me.

-Mom, I didn’t do it, I... I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t do it!-...Mom was now floating and coming towards me, every time I went along she slowly tore a member of her body, leaving only her bones in plain sight, I began to despair and scare, I didn’t want to see my mom like this.

-Son! Stop! Don’t kill me!

-I would never do that mom. Mom I adore you why did you leave me?!-I ran to her so that she does not continue advancing.

-I didn’t leave you, you make me go away of this world.

-No! I haven’t done anything!-The faster I was running, it seemed If I was only walking… what a s**t!

Shadows of people surrounded me and they were saying:

-You killed her…

-You killed her…

-You killed her…

I reached my mom, but when I reached her… It was too late, she barely has her face, and her heart was inside her skeleton, pounding every time more weakly… damn, mom was dying in my arms…

-You killed her…

-You killed her…

-You killed her…

-I DIDN’T KILL HER!

…

I woke up, saw the rooftop, I was sweating, my heart was agitated, my head hurts and I was drowning.

I caught the pillow I had next to me, I put it in my face, I started crying. –It… it was a dream, s**t why this things happens to me… I didn’t do anything to you mom…, you were what I most adore in this world, and you gave me a lot in spite of not having enough, you raised me alone, you defended me when I didn’t have anyone, damn it, I didn’t kill you, don’t torment me with this mom, please, I understood what you were going through, I defended you from Dad when he was a complete asshole, you understood me when something happened to me, you healed me of all the wounds I suffered, you encouraged me to move on when I failed, just as you filled me with 'You, you, you', I will fill you with what YOU were to me and how much you meant to me... - I felt my head full of air because of the pillow. -Why did you leave? Why? s**t mom, please come back and tell me even if you’re locked alive in your grave, but tell me you’re here, please, please... PLEASE!

...there was a great silence...

I left to continue crying, now with more force... I was leaving the air for a few moments.

-Do not hate me... please... I didn’t kill anyone, it wasn’t my fault they killed her... they didn’t hate me...

I couldn’t stay in bed all day, I decided to call Dad again because he wasn’t home yet.

-Sounds... his phone’s on!-I was happy because last night dad’s phone seemed off.

-Good morning son, how are you buddy?

-Where are you dad, I had a shitty night... I’m home, I’m hurt.

-Son you are not the only one, I was in the hospital with your aunt, yesterday something happened, when I get home I tell you, but calm down, you will be well, you have always been a strong man, as your mom, so you will be well OK?

-... I didn’t say anything, I thought he would worry, but he sounded so calm.

-Son?

-Dad, yesterday I was hit by a car.

-You were probably drunk or something.

Dad still didn’t worry.

He continued.-Son, I have to go, maybe I arrived today at the house, eat well.

-Maybe?

Dad hung up on me after I answered, I called back, but... again his cell phone was off.

-Dad... you’re shit.-I thought between me.

In my bed, I started to think about why Mr. Larson told me what he said, wanted to talk to his wife... but two things, I couldn’t walk to the supermarket and another, Mr. Larson said he didn’t want to see me around, he was scared.

Next week, Friday, it’ll be Christmas, and I didn’t feel like going anywhere, I was bummed about Mom yet, it had only been a few days, Mom died on a Thursday, December 10th, the wound would still hurt a lot after a fortnight and I don’t think it would heal even in a year or more... It was my mom, she had both her last names.

Thinking I still had my mom’s last names, I got even more angry at my dad, because he didn’t care about me, and when I was born he refused me, to the point of not having his last name... It was only two years that I got to know him well, and even though I already know what kind of person he is, I love him.

A little spider started walking on the blanket of my bed, climbed on my arm, walked to my hand.

-Can you imagine if you hit me and now out of nowhere I go out the window swinging through the buildings of the city? Saving people from... get run over?-I laughed a little because even though my body hurt a lot I could not believe that I was hit by a crazy man and fell on some stones...

The spider started to walk quickly through my arm, but it started tickling, so I blew it and it flew out of there.