❦do i exsist❦『 noen ᴱᵁᴮᴬᴺᴷˢ』

✞.2

αυg/12/2019

            it´s another agonizing day in the life of Mariah, every day seems to get worse and worse  and it seems as Jaden has totally forgotten about her  to be exact no one talks to her it seems like she is slowly disappearing at her school less and less boy talk about her looks or talk about wanting to f**k her  and she is glad that that is over but now she feels  just empty nothing to live for nothing to stress about anymore but this also scared her because she now realizes she is officially alone no one  noticed her anymore ....she didn't exist  now with those thoughts Mariah was at school   knowing her book ends here this is the end for her  she has had it with life all of the lonely agonizingly painful days  ,she has had it it seemed to her that one little mistake that she has had since she was born  has effected her existence  

not knowing she  had an admirer all along he watched her ever emotion and move though he never talked to her he felt lie they were meant to   be he wanted to make her happy because to him he was only half seeing her he only saw her beauty and her  shyness and that's what, he thought she was shy he never saw her up close anyways he always saw her from a distance by her self or just staring at nothing but  he still felt  something for her from a distance 

and that's what she hated about most people they always have assumptions about her and they were all wrong every single one of them and that's what caused her  the most pain everyone just assumed  not even trying to come up to he ask her a simple question and that's what brings her back to her childhood where children were scared because her anxiety attacks ould cause her to scream really loud  and Mariah was a sensitive  person not sensitive and in emotionally but physically  her immune system  was not built like a regular child's so when she would run in hot weather scream or cry or laugh her noes would bleed uncontrollably and her eyes would have hints of blood around them  and  Mariah has always marked herself as week mainly because the issues she had since she was born 

yes I know this sounds chaotic  but that's just the word to describe marinas mind  it was a mess a total mess she couldn't think straight anymore  hence  the scars and bruises and cuts on her arms legs  stomach   and sometimes chest  but she finally thought it was time to end her painful book that most people call life 

it was  4 period and it was a free period for Mariah's class     she knew  it was her time though she was at school she knew it was the best time because she could never do it t home that was the last place her parents stood  it was where they had their last breath  their last glimpse of life  and you wanted  though you hate every part of that  you never wanted to change the fact that that's, where they were you, wanted it to stay that way you wanted that home as a memorial for your parents  that the last place you existed 

she stepped out of the room not knowing  four sets of eyes were watching her  pale almost lifeless body   walk across the floor as if she was  leaving for good and they weren't wrong  but they  never knew this was a new chapter for their lives  the four boys got up and followed Mariah as she dragged her feet across the floor  and they had pretty heavy steps but somehow she didn't notice them and she soon reached the  top floor of the school building she moved her almost stick-like arm and   twisted the door nob and walked onto the top of the building  she acquainted  seeing the sun shine down on her face   then her eyes quickly adjusted as she focuses on where she was going the boys followed trying not to be spotted by the girl  and she slowly stepped towards the edge of the building all of the boys  were still confused as to what she was doing and why she was doing what she is doing and she was finally at least 4 inches away from the edge of the building and she looked up at the blue sky that was oddly and slowly starting to turn grey  and she said ¨Wʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇꜱ? ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ɢɪʀʟ? ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴᴀᴍʟᴇꜱꜱ ʙᴇɪɴɢ? Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ꜱɪᴍᴘʟʏ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ғᴀᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅʟᴇꜱꜱ ꜱᴇᴀ ᴏғ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ Wʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ I ꜱᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ I ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴀᴛ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟғ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʀʀᴏʀ? ¨  she said as she turned towards the boys.

 it snapped he knew what was happening  ¨ Mariah  no-¨  she stared at him with pure agonizing pain¨ I don't exist  Jaden¨ and before Jaden could stop her noen jumped up and ran towards her but he  ...... was too late it all happened in a flash she jumped  and he was just inches away  from her he was so close but she did it but what noen didn't understand is why to him she never seemed sad and she looked fine but    then it hit him he saw her up close for the first time ever he could see her bags ad dark circles and the cuts on her chest the bruises on her neck and  the agony in her eyes  she looked like she was calling out for help and finally noen snapped out of his daze realizing the ambulance was here  he saw Anthony and chase just staring at the ground and Jaden hysterically crying and they all went down to the last floor to see a lifeless pale corpse with blood all over her and  noen thought  is this what it feels like to lose someone you love?