Fossils - Viagra, Snuff And Rock'N'Roll

-Track One--4

ANOTHER KNOCK ON THE door disturbed Charles's thoughts.

“I am not hungry,” Charles shouted, sounding emphatic as he assuming it was Mrs Chew.

The door opened and a small rotund man as bald as a bell-end walked in.

“Charlie boy,” shouted a jovial geriatric in a gruff voice.

With a cheery grin, he went over to Charles. “I’m Steve, but they call me Strat. Chewy told us you weren’t coming to eat, so I thought I’d come and change your mind.”

Shocked, Charles forced a smile and said. “No, I’m not hungry.”

“Come on, just try some. The grub isn’t bad, and tonight it’s BBQ rib night, a real treat,” insisted Steve and put his arm around Charles's shoulder to coax him out of his chair. “I’ll introduce you to everyone,” said Steve, and sniggered. “You can meet the band.”

Charles, taken aback, asked, “Oh, you have a band here? I never heard about that. What type of music do they play?”

Steve grinned and said. “It’s a long story, but I will tell you over supper. Come on, before the ribs get cold or the other old farts scoff them all.”

Charles looked at the comical character resembling a pear with spindly legs and, realising he was persistent, got out of his chair.

“Don’t worry Charlie, it ain't bad here. I've been an inmate for five years and known in most of the pubs in the area. You’ll be a big hit with the ladies with that posh accent.”

Steve chuckled and the pair made their way to the dining hall.

The chatter in the dining room stopped when the pair went in, with all eyes focused on Charles, who fidgeted and looked uncomfortable.

“I hope you old farts saved us some ribs,” Steve growled and led Charles to empty seats between two other elderly gentlemen.