Grey Hearts

Chapter Four: Not My Choice To Make

Lana

“Lana Ray!” She called out in a definite tone. I swallowed the protest on my lips. “It's been decided. You've been assigned as a peer tutor,” she said, sliding a file across the desk. “Your name came highly recommended.”

“Recommended? By who?” I asked, my voice coming out in a squeak.

She peered at me from the top of her glasses. “We've been keeping tabs on your academic progress since you joined us, Lana. Plus, your old school sent a reference, so we have no doubt about our decision. Here's his file, go through it.”

My eyes fell on the name on the front page. “Seth Parker?”

“Yes. You'll be taking him on Calculus, Physics and a few other major courses. You'll have to take him until the middle of the session and give us a status report weekly.”

My palms suddenly became clammy. This wasn't a good idea. I didn't even know who the dude was. Why wasn't another person selected? What if there were no significant improvements over time? But then again, when did I ever back down from a challenge?

“I'll go through this immediately.” I said in a more confident tone than earlier. As I got to the door, her voice made me pause. “Yes, Ma'am?”

“Take this seriously, Lana. Not only will this look good on your college application but it will ensure that nothing happens to your scholarship here.” My heart skipped a beat at the intense look in her eyes. Was that a threat?

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded weakly, “Of course. When do we start?”

“As soon as possible.”

I opened the door and rushed out, almost bumping into a middle-aged woman at the entrance. Her eyes were shifty as though she had been eavesdropping. That was none of my business though. I had more important things to deal with.

I flipped the file open and scanned through the details as I walked out of the administrative block. His grades were below average, no wonder he needed help. A frown marred my features as a thought crossed my mind. Would Mum approve? Well, we didn't have a choice. My scholarship was at stake.

***

Seth was already in the school library when I walked in. I recognized him from the picture I sent to me. I got his number from the file I was given. He was slouching in his chair, long legs stretched out, phone in hand. His tousled blond hair and striking hazel-brown eyes made him look effortlessly confident. He looked bored. I scheduled this meeting to make adequate arrangements towards the tutorials.

When he finally saw me, his face lit up in this lazy smile that made my skin crawl.

“No way,” he exclaimed. “New girl, you’re my tutor?”

It had been a month since I resumed here so I didn't count myself as new anymore. I dropped my bag on the table a little harder than necessary. “My name is Lana and yes, I'm your tutor.”

He grinned. “Jeez! Guess I really do need your brains to stay on the team.”

I read in his file that he was the striker on the school's football team.

“Forgive my manners. We haven't been officially introduced.” He rose up, “I'm Seth Parker.”

“Hi, Seth.” I shook his hands, feeling a bit embarrassed at the whole formality.

He took his seat, still glancing at his phone. I pulled out my notebook and my favourite black pen. “We'll start with the subject with the lowest grade and that's Calculus.”

He shrugged, “it's not my fault. Those calculations are too long and boring. I'd trade them for an evening under the stars with you.”

I bit my tongue, stopping myself from making a harsh retort. “If you don't focus, Seth, your trade will make you end up in a permanent position on the bleachers.”

The smile on his face disappeared. “Hey, you're no fun.” I ignored him and proceeded to test his performance so I could estimate the level of knowledge he had and determine where to begin.

We got to work, or tried to. Every few minutes he would either c***k a joke, tap his foot impatiently or lean back in his chair and yawn. He got several answers wrong and when I made corrections, he shrugged like it didn't matter.

I kept explaining calmly, going right down to the basics but it was clear that he wasn't getting it.

I heard the library door open but I didn't turn. Seth was distracted enough. I didn't want to encourage him. His face lit suddenly at something across the room. I turned and my eyes met with Barbara staring at us intently. I flashed a smile at her and she smiled back but not the cheerful one I was used to seeing in her face. This one was forced, I could tell.

I turned back to Seth who was now typing away on his phone. “We'd have to establish some rules if there's going to be any headway in these tutorial sessions.”

He laughed. “Damn. Are you always this serious?”

“Yes.”

“It must be exhausting.”

I drop my pen and look at him straight in his hazel eyes. “Do you want to pass?”

His eyes widened a bit in surprise. “Yeah, I do.”

“Good. Then focus.” He sat up straighter and the next few minutes were better than when we started. Guess I should have done that sooner.

By the time the session ended, my head hurt. Seth stretched and yawned then flashed me that same flirtatious smile like he did at the beginning.

“So, this is it for this month, yeah?”

“You wish.”

He walked by my side until I got out of the library then we parted ways. I winced at the noise in the hallway; voices chattering, lockers slamming, high-pitched laughter, it was all sickening. I couldn't wait for the day to end.

I took out my phone and texted my Mum asking if she could come pick me up after school. A memory of how she scared the living daylights out of me the other day by sitting in the living room without the lights on, flashed through my head and I smiled. We used to play hide and seek and all those spooky games together as a family before disaster struck. My chest squeezed at the painful reminder. I exhaled and tucked the memories somewhere farther than the back of my mind where I wouldn't be able to remember them anytime soon.

I was halfway to my last class for the day when someone stepped into my path. I raised my head and came face-to-face with the rude guy from the other day. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms “What now? Are you here to finally apologize?”