LOVE IN CROSSFIRE

EVERYTHING CRUMBLING

We had a case to practice on, and we always did that at the moot court. I could barely concentrate, all I could think about was my money.

I was into criminal law and this was case I was supposed to work on. I was supposed to defend my client, but I messed up. Everything crumbled and my voice shook. The legal argument I'd thought I'd practiced by looking at it five minutes before moving to the moot court, had vanished.

I was barely prepared, I'd thought I'll just get to the court and words will just be flowing as usual. But I was wrong. Words only flowed so well those times because I studied, because I was always somehow prepared.

The lecturer looked at me, and shook her head. I could tell she was clearly disappointed, then said, “Take your seat, Aurora.”

“Oh Aurora, you're getting into all this lawyer lecturer's black book.” I muttered to myself, and I took my seat.

All I could think about was my money. Though thoughts of how much I'd been messing up law school was hanging at the back of my mind.

My colleagues were all staring at me weirdly, but I didn't care — or so I thought. My hands were trembling, and my heart kept pounding hard and faster with every second.

When we were done at the moot court, I wanted to get off to Cal's place to report that motherfucker to him. But that lecturer had other plans for me.

“Aurora Coolman. Stay behind, we need to talk.” She said.

My heart stopped beating for a second. I turned around to face her—the woman who once called me her most promising student and the best barrister to be.

She looked at me for a while, then she started talking to me. She didn't shout. Maybe if she did, it would have been way better. Probably, I'd just listen to her, get pissed at the way she spoke to me and let it pass. But her voice was calm and motherly, it made me remember my mother. I could feel that she cared so much about me, and her disappointment was quiet yet cold. “What's been up with you recently, Aurora? This is unlike you.”

I didn't know what to say. Even I, felt disappointed at myself at that point.

I cleared her throat. Looking down, I said, “I just wasn't prepared ma'am.”

“You weren't prepared? Really?” She asked, her hands folded and her tone was flat. “You had a week to prepare for this, and yet you couldn't say anything. If you weren't prepared today, what happened last week? You weren't prepared too, right? Aurora Coolman, what exactly is going on with you?”

I was broken but I couldn't show it. Maybe I'd been messing law school up already like Bella had warned me, but I didn't really notice until now. I didn't know what to say. I wondered, should I tell her? Should I tell how how much I have to suffer alone? How hard it was to survive? How sick my brother was, and how much he needed a surgery to survive? How I had to do this for the things I loved the most, and to chill my demons?

I was working my ass out to survive. Then it clicked, I still hadn't gotten the money for the last night. I just wanted to scream but I stood still saying nothing.

The woman was still looking at me, waiting for a response. Then she sighed, “You're not being serious, Aurora. And it's beginning to show in everything you do. Law school is not a joke. It felt like your life some time ago, but now?” She shook her head.

My heart shattered right in its place. Those words hit harder than expected, not because she was wrong—but because everything she said was true.

Then she said finally, “Get out of that place of being unserious. No matter what's happening, don't forget how much this place meant so much to you. The one thing that kept me going while in law school was that I always saw law school as my life. Take care, Ms Coolman.”

She turned and walked away. I stood there for a moment, watching the moot court door shut after her.

I sighed heavily. Maybe it didn't look like it at that point, but sincerely law school was my life. There were two things that meant the world to me. First, was Corey. He was the reason I had to waste away at night in the hands of annoying men to make good money. Second, was law school. I needed to afford it, that was why I still had to do all that I did.

My legs buckled and I fell on a seat close to me. Tears rolled down my face.

I cursed my father for all I went through. I could remember vividly the night my mother had to die, because he was at war with another mafian clan.

My mother pleaded with the man I called father, the Almighty Jamie Coolman. She pleaded with everything she held sacred. She'd told him he didn't have to fight with the other clan. My father built everything he had with evil, with blood, drugs and all crimes that could be counted.

I remember the day she died. She'd spoken to my father about the war, but he told her she knew nothing. My brother had just started having heart issues at that time, but it wasn't severe.

“Please Daddy, can this stop already?” I'd said to him. I was fourteen years at the time and Corey was just eleven.

He ignored me, told us to stay in the building where he hid us, while the fight went on. When the other Mafians got to us, they'd told my father to surrender to them, or they'll kill my mother. My father preferred to save his clan and stick to them than save my mother.

Jamie Coolman fucken shot the mafian lord of the other clan and they shot my mother in exchange. Of course my father's clan won and claimed the whole city, but I lost the one person that was fully involved in my life and Corey's life. Maybe if she were here, everything wouldn't crumble this much. Life would have been better.

All my father ever did was to give us enough money, and have his security follow us around like dogs. But my mother was my everything.

I ran away from home when I was sixteen, because all I saw was crime, blood and money. And it most certainly wasn't what I wanted for myself and Corey. I couldn't leave Corey with my father, I couldn't loss the last person I had left in the world.

People like my father made me crave law school with everything in me. I wanted to put people like him in hell. My father only cared about himself, and his stupid clan. Betrayal meant death in the mafian world, so he'd rather betray a non mafian than betray his people.

I couldn't help but think on all of this things. I blamed my father for all that Corey and I had to go through. Of course he'd asked us severally to come home, but I'd rather die away from home than die in the hands of the mafians—the one set of people I would do everything to eliminate.

I shut my eyes, and said to myself, “Aurora, you'll graduate law school and Corey will survive.” I thought those words would give me strength, but instead it broke me the more.

There was so much I had to suffer with. I was only twenty one. I suffered with an addiction I couldn't explain too. Maybe I could add that to the reasons why I kept doing those things.

One girl, a million problem—that’s me.

Then it felt like something hit me in the head. My fucken money!

“Son of a b***h!” I hissed.

I picked up my phone and called Cal immediately, but it was sent to voicemail. “Urrggh!”.

I decided to leave a message saying: Cal, you better call me soon. That son of b***h hasn't paid me. He fucken used me. I need my god damn money.”

When I was done sending that message, I realized how much of a hood girl I was becoming. The law student in me was almost dying. “God.” I cried.

I remember when my father use to say anytime he called, “You can try as hard as you want to, but you can't change what is. You're still a hood girl and a mafian blood. It'll never leave you.”

The last time he'd said that, I screamed, “f**k you!” to him with everything in me. I blocked his contact afterwards. Maybe he was right, but I had to do everything I could to make sure I proved him wrong.

I thought of how life had played dirty with me. I cried uncontrollably. I was tired of everything.

I thought of Bastian. He dumped me just when he felt like it. Everyone always left me. I threw my bag on the floor, “f**k everyone! f**k everything!”

I missed Bastian. Even though I wanted to hate him so much, I couldn't. Maybe he was tired. He paid my fees, paid my rent and helped me curb my addiction. Then, I was working one or two jobs so I could afford Corey's medications. But Bastian helped a lot. But then, I was still pissed at him for dumping me.

When I could finally find my breath, I wiped my face with a face towel. One thing I learned while with my father was that tears was for the weak, and maybe that's the one thing I believe from his mouth.

I got up and I decided to head home. I decided to wait at home for Cal's response.

When I got home, I tried so hard to hide the fact that I was sad but Bella always knew everything. I'd successfully deceived Corey, but definitely not Bella.

“What's wrong?” She asked when I got into my room.

Tears filled my eyes again, the whole emotions started afresh. She held me in an embrace. “It's fine, Aurora.” She said softly.

When I finally found my breath, I told her all that had happened. Bella wasn't taking it, she was more pissed than I was about the money.

“What the f**k? Look, we're going to find that guy now!” She said.

“Chill! I'm waiting for Cal's response first.” I said softly.

She grabbed my phone, and dialled Cal's number immediately. Luckily, this time Cal took the call.

“Hey, Aurora.” He said over the phone.