CHAPTER THREE
1285 Words
Anna Pov
A year passed in a fog of confusion and pain. Trevor never hit me again after our conversation but somehow that made things worse because now I could not even prove what he was doing to me.
"You're imagining things," he said when I confronted him about moving my car keys. "They were on the counter the whole time."
"They weren't. I checked the counter three times."
"Then you're not looking properly. Or maybe you're losing your mind." He smiled like it was funny. "Should I be worried about you, Anna?"
I stopped arguing after that, i sopped trying to prove anything. It was easier to just accept that maybe I was going crazy.
Depression settled over me like a heavy blanket I could not shake off. I stopped calling Samantha back. Stopped leaving the penthouse unless I absolutely had to. Stopped caring about anything except making it through each day without setting Trevor off.
"You need to eat," Trevor said one morning while I pushed scrambled eggs around my plate.
"I'm not hungry."
"You're never hungry anymore. You're getting too thin." He reached across the table and grabbed my wrist. "People are going to think I'm not taking care of you."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You're depressed." He said it like an accusation. "What do you have to be depressed about? You live in a penthouse. You don't have to work. I give you everything you could want."
"I know."
"Then why are you moping around like your life is so terrible?"
Because it is, I wanted to scream. Because you've turned me into someone I don't recognize. Because I'm trapped and I don't know how to get out.
But I said, "I don't know. I'm sorry."
He let go of my wrist and went back to his breakfast. "Maybe you should see someone. A therapist or something. Get your head sorted out."
The idea of telling a therapist what my life had become filled me with shame. So I said, "Maybe."
But I never went.
Samantha showed up at the penthouse unannounced one afternoon. I had not answered her calls in three weeks.
"You can't ignore me forever," she said when I opened the door.
"I wasn't ignoring you. I've just been busy."
"Busy doing what? You don't work. You barely leave this place." She pushed past me into the apartment. "We need to talk."
"About what?"
"About the fact that you're falling apart and won't admit it." She turned to face me. "When's the last time you showered? Or changed your clothes? Or left this apartment?"
I looked down at myself. I was wearing the same sweatpants I had worn for three days. My hair was greasy, I could not remember my last shower.
"I've been tired," I said weakly.
"You're depressed, Anna. And it's because of him." She grabbed my shoulders. "You need to leave today, right now. Pack a bag and come stay with me."
"I can't just leave."
"Why not?"
"Because he needs me."
"He doesn't need you. He's using you, there's a difference." Her voice cracked. "Please. I can't watch you disappear like this."
Tears burned my eyes. "What if I can't do better? What if this is all I deserve?"
"Don't say that. Don't ever say that." She pulled me into a hug. "You deserve so much more than this. You just can't see it right now."
I cried into her shoulder while she held me. For the first time in months, I let myself feel the weight of everything.
"Talk to him," Samantha said when I finally pulled away. "Tell him you're leaving, tell him you're done. I'll be right here with you."
"He won't let me go that easily."
"Then we'll get the police involved. We'll do whatever it takes." She wiped my tears. "But you have to try. You have to at least try to get out."
That night, after Trevor came home from work, I gathered what little courage I had left.
"We need to talk," I said.
He was pouring himself a drink. "About what?"
"About us. About this relationship and about how unhappy I am."
He took a slow sip of whiskey. "Unhappy?"
"Yes. I can't keep living like this, Trevor. I can't keep walking on eggshells, i can't keep questioning my own sanity. I can't keep being this miserable."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying something needs to change. Either you get help for your behavior or I'm leaving."
He set his glass down carefully. "You're threatening me?"
"I'm not threatening. I'm telling you the truth."
"After everything I've done for you. After I took you in when you had nothing. This is how you repay me?" His voice was cold and. ontrolled. "By threatening to leave?"
"I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I just need you to understand.."
"I understand perfectly. You're being selfish. You're only thinking about yourself." He moved closer. "Do you have any idea what my life is like? The pressure I'm under? The stress?"
"I know you're stressed, but that doesn't give you the right to."
"To what? Take care of you? Provide for you? Love you?" He was right in front of me now. "Everything I do is for us, for our future. And you want to throw that away because you're having some kind of breakdown?"
"This isn't a breakdown, Trevor. This is me trying to save myself."
He grabbed my face gently. It was scarier than when he was angry. "You don't need to save yourself, baby. You just need to trust me. Can you do that?"
I wanted to say no. I wanted to pull away and run like Samantha told me to but his eyes were soft and his voice was sweet and for a moment he looked like the man I first fell in love with.
"I don't know," I whispered.
"Here's what's going to happen. You're going to stop listening to Samantha. She doesn't understand us, she doesn't understand what we have." His thumb traced my cheek. "And I'm going to do better. I'm going to show you how much I love you. Okay?"
"Okay."
And just like that, I folded. Just like always.
The next day, Trevor came home with flowers and a jewelry box. "For you," he said, presenting both like trophies.
Inside the box was a diamond necklace that probably cost more than my old car with Jimmy.
"Trevor, this is too much."
"Nothing is too much for you." He fastened it around my neck. "You're my whole world, Anna. I want you to know that."
"Thank you."
"And I've been thinking about what you said. About needing change." He took my hands. "What if we got married?"
My heart stopped. "What?"
"Married." He smiled. "I know I haven't been perfect. I know I've put you through a lot but if we make this official, I'll be better. I'll be the man you deserve."
"Trevor, I don't know if marriage is the answer."
"It is. I promise you it is. Once we're married, everything will make sense. We'll be a team, a real partnership." He squeezed my hands. "Marry me, Anna. Let me prove I can change."
Every instinct told me to say no. But he looked so sincere. So hopeful. And maybe he was right. Maybe marriage would fix things.
"Can I think about it?" I asked.
"Of course. Take all the time you need." He kissed my forehead. "I love you."
"I love you too."
But as I said those words, I wondered if I even knew what love meant anymore.
When he said marriage would fix him, I didn't realize I was the one being fixed into place.
- Writer
