chapter 19
608 Words
LUCHUMO
I try to sit up straight but it hurts. My down hurts . The reality hits in .
I know you are judging me right now. To be honest , I’m judging myself too . I don’t know what was happening to be but part of me did it because I felt like if I don’t do it he’ll feel I was acting nervous right after he sent me that kind of money .
I’m embarrassed because he left . I fall asleep after the s*x . When I wake up he was not next to me and …
“ what a waist Luchumo . “
I looks up . Lee walks in with the plate full of scones .
Me : hey friend .
Her : this room smells s*x … who’s here .
She walks in and looks around and even under the bed .
Her : who’s here Luchumo?
Me : friend, I messed up .
Tears glistened on my cheek . I really messed up big time .
She looks at me with her mouth open .
Her : you didn’t have s*x with Sphetho while you’re in a process of getting pregnant for that donor guy , did you?
I swallow hard .
Me : no , it was him .
Her : you’re not making any sense right now .
Me : I had s*x with Menzi .
Saying it out loud makes me feel more guilty .
Her : the donor guy ?
I nods covering my face with my hands . I feel so dirty right now .
A p********e , yes I’m not different from them . The difference is that I’m going to get pregnant for him .
Lee : friend please , try to relax . I know you’re feeling guilty and all but it happened and you can’t change anything . Let’s talk about my scones .
Me : I’m sorry about your scones Lee . I’m going through the most right now .
She sighs and sits next to me .
Her : should I call the Pastor’s wife . She’ll pray for you , all your problems will disappear.
Ay no . I don’t think God will feel any pity for me .
Me : God will feel disgusted by my behavior .
Her : there’s no such . God loves you and his love is unconditional . He loves us with all our problems .
Me : friend, I seduced that guy .
She pulls me closer and embraces me.
Her : please take a shower friend . I’ll prepare something to eat .
Me : what time is it ?
Her : 17h…something . Let me call my Pastor’s wife .
I looks at her .she thinks I need a prayer .
Me : I’m not demonic Lee .
Her : I know and my pastor’s wife does not deal with demons . She deals with broken souls like us . She helped me , I believe she’ll be able to help you too .
Me : I did do this because of the issues I have with my mom .
Her : ex mom . We’re trying to move on. Secondly what happened between you and that guy was a moment of weakness . You’re not ok . You’re not thinking straight . There’s a lot going on in your mind . Don’t blame yourself.
Me : let me go bath .
She smiles .
Her : that’s my girl . You’ll be ok .
She brushes my shoulder before walking out .
I still feel like I’m dirty .
- Writer
