The White-Golden Wolf

The bitter truth

Picking up my toothbrush, I brushed. My mind seems agonizing… a bad dream? I do not know… this one was different.

My heart raced, and I felt my body shaking… my gaze stopped on something like a shadow, with glowing eyes. These eyes seemed warm but cold. I am feeling dazed.

I just sought to go there and did not.

“Come to me, little kitten.” Pleading a cry, a male voice.

“Hold my hand! It will be fine, my little kitten.” Spoke the same tone again. “Take my hand, so I can locate you.”

I stood there, like I was passing out. My mind suggested no, but my heart urged me to run there. I craved to ask who he was, but no sound came out. To find me, but why would he? What does he want with me? Why do these dominant glowing bright-green eyes seem warm but powerful and dangerous at once? And then, this sentiment, a strange pool like I recognize I am safe with him. I did not know what to say or do.

Something in me wished to take his hand. At that moment, something shifted on my back. I froze when I saw… A very terrifying beast, or thing else, showing his teeth in a creepy, evil way. His aura screamed and danger, his claws wanted to taste my skin and hurt me to no end. I stood there and panicked at him. I know these eyes, red eyes I have seen before. Then I wake up sweating and pounding. What the hell?

Thank God, it was just a dream.

I had headaches all day long. I guess about the green eyes and red ones.

Why do I continue thinking about it? Why do I know what is going on, but I cannot remember? Why do I have this feeling of passing out every time I keep digging in my mind?

“Those tender eyes… so beautiful.” replied Clarissa with a dreaming voice.

“Makes slight sense. It was just a dream, Clarissa.” I added with a heavy heart. What if I'm in danger?

“I will find you, my little kitten.” I heard someone calling me. His words seemed to echo around me, even though there was a whisper. No way… I am losing my mind here.

“Can you hear that, Clarissa?” No answer.

“Clarissa, are you there? Say something!” nothing.

I looked panicked and then around. Where was I? I know this place. My father's office. Going forward-looking in this room. I see an object on the desk. A box and a message “Try to remember little Moon”

Trying to get the box, but it is like I am a shadow. I cannot reach the box, studying me. It seems like I am a ghost. Strange. I am dreaming again. What a f**k?

“Markus, how can I help you?” My mom's voice was sweet and calming and spiked like an angel.

“I can't find Alpha Matthias. I looked everywhere. No one knows anything, and I am unhappy, Serenity. I'm sorry.”

My mom's tone sounds broken when she asks where I was?

“We have to get them! I can feel my mate is not dead, my daughter is somewhere alone and scared. Please let me bring them.”

Why is she pleading? She is Luna. I wanted to open the door, but I just could not move. This is irritating.

The ambient disperses, I was in the woods now, white mist everywhere.

“Be tough little Moon.”

“Be strong, little angel.”

Mom… Dad…

Knocking…

Knocking…

Knocking…

I am back in my office and standing… Is it possible to sleep and walk around like a lunatic? I think I'm hallucinating.

Knocking…

“Miss Moonlight, are you there?”

I glanced at the door and stepped forward to it.

“About time!” my attention moved behind her to the nice-looking man.

“I am sorry for being late.” I murmured as I invited them inside.

“Let us begin the meeting. Please take a seat.” Sounding more confident now.

Ms. Mitral and Mr. Kwan are from the Human Resource department, delegating responsibility to employees, consulting about their employment, and so on.

After a while now, I am alone, and I finished my task for today. I went home, took a shower, and got something to eat. Mary works late again, and Kev seems overwhelmed by his mate. Yes, he has found his mate, Nina.

He was at the office earlier that morning, hoping it would not be such a busy day. A girl was coming across the hallway in Kev's direction. She was walking with determination, her brow furrowed. It stops Kev in his tracks. She did the same and then smiled, said together “Mate”

Nina had an unfortunate past. Her parents are the warriors of the pack, they have Nina trained to fight only. She didn't fall in love as a child. Yes, they cared about her, but they didn't ask her what she wished, they just chose for her. She wanted to go forward to college and turn into a lawyer. When you accept to work with the pack representatives for alpha himself or near Bluestone pack, then you must live there with them. I mean, we are living as members of Bluestone, but because we are an enormous pack, we appear like a small village of wolves, which people do not know, of course. The field spans over 3.5 acres, all surrounded by trees, twenty miles (ca. 32 km) away from the city. We have stores, a school, a training area, and an impressive lake. We do not have to always travel downtown to buy some food.

The Pack house stands in the middle, magnificent home… Yes, I used to live there.

As for Nina, she has a remarkable heart. She is a beautiful woman. Blond hair, hazel eyes, about 17 years old, a model body, and an angelic voice. Kevin loves her so very much.

“Happy birthday to you!!” Mary, Kevin, and Nina started singing in the kitchen when I entered. I thanked them, ate together, and made jokes. I can say that today's my day. Not only that, but I cannot wait to shift and feel my mate. This realization got under my skin, and I stew about what to do today. My greatest fear is not that I am inadequate to change the company, my deepest fear is that I am too powerful beyond measure, and the light and can be my darkness, which frightens me. Being a child when they have been taken from home, I knew, uniquely born, it is about letting my light shine.

I remember…

Trying to relax and breathe I remember… How could she? How could she do that? Even though she looks like an angel and talks like one, when in fact, the reason for everything was her.

I'm on my knees now, feeling anger, love, confidence, fear… pain, and betrayal. My bones are cracking, power on my body increases. It is like a second skin grows on me, kissing my frame.

A pureblood Alpha is more powerful than their descent, gifted with magnificent strength, great hearing, super stamina, and speed. Not to mention powerful enough to be immune to Wolves bane and silver.

A gasp left my lips, looking at me. I knew I was capable enough to challenge Markus, but did not know that it would be like a white wolf. Another suppressed Golden light, like protection in the Wolf form caressing my skin, moving synchronously,

“You are remarkable Clarissa.” I said excitedly and amazed. Clarissa grinned at me in my mind.

“Wow!” I heard Kev and Nina talk together. My gaze shifted to them and then to Mary, who smiled at me with pride like she expected that.

“It's like having two Wolves.” I understood Kev this time.

“What does he mean, Clarissa?”

“It means you have indescribable power. You have all the elements, Lara.” Clarissa explains.

A headache ground into my temple then, a flashing red light drifting in my eyes, made me scream and shake like a leaf. Simultaneously, my past played like a movie, experiencing my childhood memories. Involuntary multitudinous feelings construct into my head, my power growing to no end, makes me sweat.

I need air!

I see myself speeding up between ancient woods, breathing the fresh air after rain and wildflowers, hearing birds' symphony as well. Fascinating!

Before I came into view, a large and brilliantly blue lake, surrounded by trees and sweet-smelling green grass. I am in Heaven!

Before rushing back, I allowed myself to enjoy some time.

“I remember everything now.” I said to my adoptive family, trying not to cry.

“I know why my mom never was in the picture too much. She did this to me. Both my parents and my predecessor had powerful magic, but did not show it. My mother died at my birth, and my dad chose another Luna. A pureblood Alpha with magical powers needs to balance the elements, meaning that only with your soul mate you can do it. My mom, Serenity, was a second chance mate of my father. She received half of his power and balanced the elements, only because she is pure alpha blood.”

Mary and Kev both look pale. Then I realized something, and my heart started racing.

“You know about it. That is why you kept trying to say you saw nothing. Why didn't you tell me? I love you like my family… I find in you a brother, Kev and a mother, Mary.” Looking at them and seeing betrayed, one more time feeling alone and desperate, letting my tears fall.

Mary sobbed, came to me, and took my hands, then pulled me into a hug.

“I wanted you to live a little, to be happy a little. Five years ago, your father put your memories to rest. Only when you get to be 18 years old will you have them back? He sends you into the woods that day, so you do not have to name who is behind everything. He noticed it. Likewise, he realized that Serenity had betrayed him. To protect you from all the misery, before he died, he gave me a key to keep hidden. Only when you remember, will you realize what to do. I was there to help the injured people when Luna and Beta were fighting the pack members. Alpha Matthias Moonlight was dying from your mother's hands. Only suffering from rejection can defeat an alpha, but killing him only if he transfers his strength to someone else. But you already perceive that. The reason you have White-Golden Wolf. Your Golden Wolf will be within your mate's power, and when you meet him and mate with him, the balance is restored and merged. It's everything I know, sweetie.” Mary explained.

I stood there crying, but determined to recover that Box. The dream came to mind. I must take it from there, from the Alpha office.

I must figure out how. My plans to win my father's company just got f****d up.

Well, now I have to say, Happy f*****g Birthday to me.

His green eyes stare at me intensely,

like his gaze can penetrate right through my soul. I am not convinced If I'm scared about that, I feel vulnerable and protected.

He moves closer to me and keeps eye contact with me. We stood there for a while, looking at each other.

“Where are you, my little kitten? Let me find you, my love.”

I am trying to answer, but nothing comes out. I wanted to touch his cheek but could not move.

“Say it kitten'' he pleaded, his eyes emitting waves of sadness and hurt. “Say it!” He looks close to tears when continuing, “You have to say it”

Say what? What is it I must do? How could I know? My heart aches, my chest constricts. It hurts to see him like this. And what the hell, I can't move or speak? I can't even look at him properly. Who are you, and why is it like having seen his green eyes before?

“Morning L, how are you feeling?” Nina asks with concern

“I'm not convinced. My mind seems overwhelmed right now. Too much for one day.” Replay, taking a sip of coffee.

“What will you do about all this? I mean, find this box and then your mate. He will help you.” Mary raised a question, coming into the kitchen with some paperwork.

“I haven't seen your mother yet. I am thinking she's been with Markus all the time. They are up to something. They know you have shifted. Serenity knows you are an element of she-wolf. Be vigilant and stay put for a while. I'm not sure why you haven't dreamed about your mate, though.” Mary continued, frowning.

“Normally, a pureblood Alpha will receive the call.”

“What do you mean?” I ask without taking my gaze from her.

“I don't know exactly. It is not the same with everyone. Occasionally, you smell him and feel him when he is about miles from you, you hear him roaring, appearing in your dreams.”

“What? How?” I interrupt Mary.

“I guess I dream about him.” I said aloud, without notice.

Mary nods at me, waiting to explain more.

“He wanted me to tell something, but I don't know what. I just can't move or speak.”

Mary seems to figure out something, and when the realization hits her, she looks panicked.

“Say it kitten.” I heard the voice again like a whisper and something in my chest fluttered. The call? s**t! He is my mate! He is searching for me.

“Mary, I realize my mate calls for me.” looking excited

“Find the box. If something is in there to save you, then there must be something to let your mate feel where you are.”

“Why's that?” Nina asked for me

“Because she doesn't have her Wolf in her dreams. Someone wants you aside from him. I don't know why, but something in the box can help.” Mary exclaimed, frustrated, when she looked at me.

I stared at her. She cannot be seriously saying that did she? This makes me angry as well. I flinch when Kev hugs me and looks concerned at me before he pulls away in frustration.

“I don't get it! For god's sake!” Kevin growled, making me jump in my seat.

Fuck my life.

I could feel Mary and Nina steering towards me, so I turned around to them, then to Kevin again. His eyes held crazed anger, but then, coming closer, placed a tiny kiss on my forehead.

“We are on your site, little sis. Everything will be fine. I will protect you.”

After thanking them, I got to work.

I am extremely fortunate to have them as my family. They gave me a home and loved me despite my parents death, I am delighted to have them in my life.

I cried all the way to work, I was now in front of the building trying to pull myself together. The rest nine hours bring a rollercoaster of emissions ranging from fear to anxiety, anger to relief.

But the next day when the sun rises, I know the path of my life has changed and will be difficult, but so was the past and here I am.

When the day is over and the evening shadow has faded into a moonlight sky, I close my eyes and listen to the chirping of the birds in the fig tree right outside my bedroom window. The night was silent now. I have never used the words strength and vulnerability together before. Strength means significant power, and susceptibility is about being open and exposed, but I felt the power of susceptibility through one act of love.

The voice inside my head gets very loud on every occasion I try to reach my mate, but it is like moving forward into nothing. Every chance I dream about him, every time a beast with red eyes and long ugly fangs is there to catch me. His telling is my strength, and his green eyes make me vulnerable, his radiating powerful aura keeps me safe. And I know he is my mate.

I understood that I have opportunities. I decided to exercise those opportunities.

Not only that, but I am going to tell that little s**t of an Alpha to f**k himself. I will not want to be the Alpha, but I will show him who I really am.

One more thing caused me to jump into my mind. I keep reflecting on that man with emerald, green eyes?

The feelings that come along every time I am thinking about him. Desire building in my body makes me need to find him, rip off his clothes and kiss him like a mad madwoman.

What about my mate?

Forgive Jesus.

I am going to hell.